Just found out I’m pregnant, and I have so many questions!!

[sunnyfleur]

This feels like such a hard time because you can’t ask anyone you’d usually ask, because you haven’t told them yet!

When do I refer myself to the midwife?

When do I tell work? (There are redundancies on the line, which aren’t being decided until April - I’d have thought I’d have been showing by then as I’ll be 14 weeks ish, but new laws are coming in on April 6 IIRC which give pregnant women enhanced protection from redundancy).

I don’t eat any of the risky foods anyway and I am already taking the right vitamins including folic acid. What else can I do?

When is too early to start buying?

Aaagh 👶🏼 thanks to anyone who can help. X

Congrats!!

You can refer yourself to the midwife and they will give you a booking appointment when you’re around 8 weeks.

You don’t legally have to tell work until your 25 weeks pregnant, but obviously if your sick or need time off for appointments it might be beneficial for you to tell them earlier.

You should take folic acid and vitamin D.

Personally I wouldn’t buy anything until after the 20 week anatomy scan, but obviously you can start buying whenever you feel comfortable.

I rang my local midwife unit at around 5 days of a positive test- they booked in a midwife appointment for me at around 8 weeks and got my 12 week scan letter through the post within a week too

I told my work at around 8 weeks as I felt dreadful and needed a couple of days off, if I didn't feel so poorly I would've waited until 12 weeks- someone else might be better educated regarding redundancies and pregnancy

I tried taking the pregnacare tablets and they made me feel awful so switched to folic acid and vitamin D. I'm 17 weeks now and gone back to pregnacare as they have extra vitamins in - I have a few food aversions so I wanted to make sure I was getting enough vitamins

We've only just started making a couple of purchases this weekend to spread the cost out but we'll wait until 20 weeks onwards to buy the majority including travel systems

Is it your first? If so you’ll likely be able to hide it easily at 14 weeks. You might want to mention it to your line manager sooner (if you don’t think that will put you at risk) depending on how you’re feeling.

congratulations!

It is my first yeah. Get on well with my line manager but are they not duty bound to tell HR? My job is only office-y so nothing about it would put me at risk, shouldn’t have thought.

I didn't tell work until 15w, I was barely showing so easy to hide with the right outfit, even though it was summer. Tbh I don't think there's much point telling work before the 12w scan unless you need workplace adjustments for safety, or you are very unwell and requiring time off. They won't start to think about your maternity cover or anything until you're at least through the first trimester so you're not really doing them a favor by saying about it any earlier.

Yes I do think your manager would have to tell hr as once they know they legally should do a safety assessment (even though for an office worker the assessment is about 30 seconds to say there's nothing to assess, it still has to be done).

Probably refer yourself to the midwife some time around the 6 week mark, that'll give them plenty of time to book you in for the 8 week appointment

You can buy things whenever you feel ready. For me, having suffered a loss previously I didn't feel emotionally ready to make big purchases until after 20w scan, but there's no right or wrong answer - if you'd like to get something for your baby then do! Do consider checking vinted/FB market place though for second hand items before you get too excited and blow your budget on a few items early on :)

You can refer to the midwife as soon as you want. They’ll not see you until around 8 weeks anyway, but it’s good to have the date in the diary.
I told my manager when I was 8 weeks as I was feeling quite rough and distracted so wanted him to know what was going on. I asked him to not tell HR or anyone until I’d had the 12 week scan and everything was confirmed as ok etc.
You’ll probably not be showing much at all at 14 weeks so you can definitely hide it until you’re comfortable telling anyone else. I think legally you have to tell work at least 14 weeks before your due date or something like that.
It’s never too early to start buying things. I know a lot of people don’t like to buy things until after the 20 week anatomy scan, which is sensible too. I think we bought a few bits after the 12 week scan and then the big stuff was after 20 weeks, mainly because we needed to sort out space to store everything! But I definitely bought cute clothes when we found out the gender at around week 16.

Ring your midwife when your ready, i rang them the day after i found out. I wanted to celebrate being pregnant with my partner the day i found out (celebrate him having a beer, me having some juice, we cheered for it😂) we've both wanted a baby for the longest time, i remember wanting to be a mum at 16 but knew it wasnt right for me as i still had an education to get, im currently 26, hes 32 and previous to me he was in a 9 year relationship which they were planning a wedding and children but she left.. we'd been together 6 month when we first started talking about babies! Because we was both so sure we wanted children!! 2 weeks after trying i conceived. We felt like the proudest and happiest parents in the whole entire world! (I know 6 month isnt very long to be with someone before having kids. We have miscarry 2 babies and nearly been together 2 years in May and have now moved into our own home and still love each other very much, its like its still the honeymood period between us, we're bisotted by each other! Theres a whole lotta love!! Just before anyone judged lool)

Ring your midwife momma! Go get your appointment in your diary! Usually around the 8 week mark they will pop you in for an appointment, its just looking at your past, your medical history, his medical history, family medical history, his past too and then the dreaded blood test, not a very exciting appointment but it makes you feel like your definitely pregnant!

Baby clothes, you can buy whenever you like, i bought a cute little set with a dressing gown, my partners sister bought us a baby blanket in white too and i always said this is what the baby will be coming out of the hospital with! Fresh white set of clothes with a little hat and dressing gown and a baby blanket. I bought them when i believed i was 7 weeks, i was so excited!

People usually say wait until 20 week scan so you know what to buy and your not blowing all your budget on white when you can get blue or pink. I couldnt resist, enjoy it! Go buy your baby a new outfit, the rest can wait until after 20 weeks eg. The bottles, the cot, the pram (the most expensive stuff can wait really) go enjoy looking and possibly buying very little baby clothes!!

And lastly congratulations momma!! X

You have to tell work 15 weeks before the due date, if it’s your first you can probably hide it until at least week 17 or 18 with baggy clothes. Obviously that depends on how often you’re in the office and how sick or tired you are or how many appointments you have though. I would personally wait until April if you can to be covered by the new laws, if you know redundancies are happening. Certainly I’d wait until after the 12 week scan.
personally I think wait as long as possible to buy things, or it’s just cluttering up your house for months but there’s no right or wrong way to do it. And just self refer to the midwife, and that’s it! It’s an odd limbo time! Congratulations!

I think all of that is up to you and personal preference I had to tell work very early around 6 weeks as I was so sick but I won't be buying anything till I'm around 6 months this that personal preference I just feel like it's bad luck to start buying too early but that's just me and me having had a previous MC.

No need to tell work for a while, as it's your first you can probably hide the bump until 4/5 months so wait until that law has come in I would say.
I didn't start buying until I knew what we were having, found out at 17 weeks ☺️
Depends on your area but it's either gp referral to midwife or you ring then yourself but I've always waited until 6 weeks (which is 6 weeks from first day of last period), so technically when you're around 2 weeks late.