Antenatal Depression

[G1994]

Hi everyone…

I did do a very similar post to this a couple of days back but since then I’ve just got worse with how I’m feeling. I have searched online how I’m feeling and a lot keeps coming back to antenatal depression. I’m only six weeks so not sure if it’s normal to get it this early.

I’m not due to meet my midwife for another three weeks so does anyone know of any helplines or who else I can call in the meantime.

The way I’m feeling is awful. I just want to sleep all of the time so I don’t have to be awake with my mind, I’m in a constant depressive numb state, I’ve hid from friends and family since Christmas, I’ve no motivation for anything, I’ve ignored all house chores, I’ve not cooked a meal for days, done any laundry, I’m just crying the whole time and I don’t want to hurt myself, so no major concerns there but some days I just wish I wouldn’t wake up.

All of the above is making me feel like I don’t want this baby and makes me think am I stupid having a baby if I clearly can’t look after myself. I feel so guilty but then also so scared for the future. This would be my first baby.

I’m in a loving relationship, own my own home, have a great job, have my own car, have a super loving and supportive family. I have everything I need on paper to be happy and manage with a baby.

I have suffered with depression years ago and still deal with anxiety and I’m determined not to let them win me on this.

I know this is a long message, I just needed to get this off of my chest and see if anyone had any advice or helpline numbers I can call.

Thank you.

Hi,
your emotions during pregnancy are crazy, the first trimester is for sure the hardest because you feel both mentally and physically awful. My advice would be to call your GP, a few years ago I was signed off work with stress and the GP I spoke to was wonderful. If they’re not the right person they can sign post you to some services. Don’t make any decisions yet, have you spoken to your partner about how you feel and do you live together?

Yes, we live together and I have spoken to him. He has been amazing and just wants what’s best for me. I’m really grateful for him but he cannot fix how I feel.

I nearly ruined our new business because I was too exhausted to work in the first tri. It’s so hard to have any motivation and yes it does certainly feel like a depression slump so I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. I felt exactly the same and thought it was so ridiculous and there must be something wrong with me.

I couldn’t talk to anyone - I didn’t want to. I couldn’t be bothered to do anything. I think we went out maybe twice in the first trimester. Do speak to your midwife as they will put you in touch with the mental health team. If you speak to your GP you will also be put on an urgent list for therapy too which happened to me.

Second trimester is a little better for mood and exhaustion although you ache more and then third trimester was better but as I’m getting to the end it’s getting really hard, but I know I’m nearing the end. It’s difficult and each tri is different, but you can do it! Also if you overcame depression before you will get out of this slump as this is all hormones doing this right now.

I did leave work at 25 weeks due to exhaustion, there is no harm in going on maternity early if you need to at any point OP! Or if your job won’t allow there is no shame in taking sick leave. This is hard but you will do it :)

Also get GP to check your iron, I only found out in third tri that my iron was low as it was just on the cusp and they kept marking it as fine (sigh!) I felt so much better after getting my iron tablets x

Perhaps just give yourself permission to sleep and cry? Did plenty of both in 1st trimester.
And go on holiday in sunnier clime if you can- January doesn't help depression.

I referred myself online to free NHS talking therapies for anxiety. It took 2 weeks. I found the provider I chose very annoying (it was cbt on online chat- it felt like chat gpt) and cancelled it(didnt need it by 2nd trimester anyway). But you may have more luck especially if you research the options.

Please get yourself referred for cbt on the NHS - you should get fast tracked because you're pregnant. Alternatively, not sure if you have health insurance through work or anything, but they might offer therapy as part of this.

First trimester is hard enough even without mental health issues to deal with. From someone else with MH issues in pregnancy too, I'm wishing you the best and really hope you manage to get the help you deserve.

Hello! @G1994
I am currently 6 weeks pregnant and feel similar to you. A very much planned pregnancy, yet all of a sudden I am crying, feeling low, thinking is this what I really want?! Have I made a mistake?! Never did I think I would feel this way, and almost feel robbed of what should be such an exciting time for us. I also keep thinking, if something is wrong during a scan would it be my fault because I have been doubting if this is what I really want. I cried myself to sleep the past two nights, wanting someone to tell me what
to do and wondering if I will ever feel happy during this pregnancy. It’s such a strange one as one minute I’m doubting this is what I want, but the next few hours im looking at
maternity clothes 🤦🏼‍♀️. I honestly feel completely out of whack, and so so out of control and I just can’t snap out of it and I hate it so so much it’s driving me insane!
What I have done, is been in touch with Lets Talk, I do have an appointment with them and they got back to me within 24 hours!
Fingers crossed its just my hormones all over the place and I don’t have to go 9 months feeling this way and then suffering with post natal.
Sorry for the long post!!
But how have you been getting on since you posted? Or does anyone else have any words of wisdom for me?

Hi, phoning your Gp practice and asking for an appointment sounds wise, especially as this is something you experienced before you were pregnant as well so they will have your records.

I don't have any wisdom, just feeling exactly the same and such a relief to see someone else say it x

I think it’s more common than people realise, unfortunately. Speak to your gp and get some help.