About to become a mum of two - mixed emotions!

[Piggel]

It’s the night before my c-section and I feel so overwhelmed right now. And I feel so guilty for feeling this way when I felt so excited for my first DS.

On the one hand I’m over being pregnant. My piles can’t take much more and I’m beyond over the acid reflux, constant pressure on the bladder etc. But the thought of having another baby tomorrow is petrifying to me. And I don’t know why! I have a DS who’s 20 months old and from when he was about 3/4 months I was so set on wanting another baby. But this pregnancy was unplanned (thanks Flo) and my mental health has been so up and down this pregnancy. My previous pregnancy was a breeze mentally.

We had a raised NT measurement at the 12 week scan and then high risk blood results. Had a CVS and 2 fetal heart scans done at King’s College and everything came back normal. So I should have felt relieved and enjoyed the rest of the pregnancy but I just haven’t. I’m also having another boy which I’m thrilled about. But I’m just so scared. Not scared of the section, I had an elective section with my first and it was a fab experience, recovery wasn’t too bad. I want baby here so I know he’s all ok but then that means dealing with a newborn again. But having to deal with a newborn and a toddler. And I also feel so guilty that I won’t be able to lift my toddler for however many weeks. And I don’t want him to feel any less loved. I know he’ll be an amazing big brother as he loves other kids, but I just don’t think I’m ready or prepared for us to go from a family of 3 to 4. Even though I’ve had 9 months to get my head round it!

Am I only the one to feel this way? Is it common to feel like this? I’m so hoping postpartum and postpartum hormones are kind to me. I don’t think I can cope with anymore crying!

I had a horrendous pregnancy, physically and mentally, with my youngest. Like really bad. The very moment he was lifted out of me (also ELCS) the fog completely lifted and I realised "I can do this". Days 3-5 were hard - baby blues, milk coming in, pain from section etc, but honestly before and after that was great. And my eldest was 4, I was prob lifting him by week 3.

You'll be fine. I get it, I really do, but you'll be fine. And instead of having to share the love you have for your eldest, your heart grows big enough to love them both. Yes I know that sounds cliche and soppy as fuck but it's true.

Best of luck and enjoy the section - I bloody loved mine!! Also newborn cuddles cannot be beaten!!

I think it’s very normal! Everything will fall into place when your baby arrives, I promise. I have a 3yo and an 8 month old and we popped to the supermarket earlier and I thought how strange it is that it just now feels normal to be out and about with two kids. Your heart does just magically grow.

I was really annoyed with myself for spending the last few days of my pregnancy being nervous / worried about having two, rather than being excited for a newborn. So please do just use my hindsight and look forward to tomorrow… Good luck and enjoy. You’ve got this.

Also I had an EMCS. We got around not lifting my DS, he honestly didn’t seem to notice because we just made up with it in other ways, cuddles on sofa etc. I found it easier to get down on the floor at his level too. I did accidentally pick him up when he fell over and hurt himself but I was fine, just shouldn’t have done it regularly. The time will fly by.