Scared of having another baby

[laakhx]

I'm 24 and had my dd when I was 21, she will be 3 in July and I would really love more children however I had a very traumatic labour and I'm so worried that it could happen again. I will cut the story short.. I had an emergency c section due to her heart rate dropping. I hemorrhaged during it and then got sent home the next day only to be back in a&e that night to be told I had a blood clot on my lung. They sent me back home and said I was fine even though I knew something was wrong. 5 days pp I hemorrhaged again in bed, I was staying at my mums house and my partner screamed my mum and dad to the bedroom and I was out of it on the bathroom floor gushing blood. It was like something out of a horror film. I was rushed to hospital and had 3 blood transfusions, the nurse pulled a huge clot out of me whilst I was hooked up on blood. I do believe I have some sort of ptsd from it all but I've always wanted to have lots of babies but I'm so scared of going through this again. Please could anyone tell me of any similar stories and if you're second labour was any better. I'm sick of hearing of all the bad stories

You're allowed to request an elective caesarean if you've suffered a traumatic birth

Also would you be able to go to another hospital to have that done

Is there one close enough. I suppose as it's elective then you have time on your haves to travel there

That way you're in a different environment and more in control

I had 2 very different births

My second birth went much quicker and easier with no drama just a doctor and a midwife whereas my first birth was a bit full on with people rushing in and out here there and everywhere

Due to your first birth they will be keeping a much closer eye on you as they will read all the notes to do with that

You will be stronger as a person to advocate and demand better care and they will triple check you as you go through the process

Talk to your GP about talking to a consultant at the maternity unit to discuss your fears and how to prevent a similar scenario happening again etc and to ensure you are not discharged without being checked over properly

Your GP is the main point of contact for all referrals so speak to them first

Hi op

As you had a previous EMCS, you’ll automatically be under consultant care anyway for any future pregnancies. That is standard.

This would all be discussed during your 8 week/booking appointment with your midwife who will discuss the care you have, and can also refer you to the perinatal mental health team.

You also refer to having a second ‘labour’. I would hugely recommend you don’t attempt a Vbac and you go for an elective/planned section instead, where things are much more in control.

I had a bad experience in my first birth that lead to an EMCS partly due to crap hospital care. I was then under consultant care and a specialist midwive and the mental health team for my second birth for my planned section and it was fantastic.

For now, yes maybe book an appt with your GP to discuss what happened, in terms of there being risk that you may experience the same issues again in future births, as any type of birth can and does cause blood loss. If you’re at no bigger risk from this happening than normal, then you should be fine.

I do think first labour's are often the worst. Not always, but more often than not. I had an awful traumatic first birth but my second was very straight forward and much shorter. So much so I am planning a home birth for my 3rd.

I agree with this.

I would recommend you speak to your GP and ask them to refer you for EMDR trauma therapy. Once you've had your trauma therapy, you will feel much more confident to try again. Whilst you are pregnant, ensure you ask your midwife to refer you to the mental health midwife team. Mine were great, they did a home visit and drafted a plan together to help my mental health during birth and post birth. They visited me when baby was born and did extra visits post birth. I also had therapy sessions during pregnancy and post birth too.

My first birth was traumatic and stayed in 5 days in hospital, second birth was quick and easy, and was discharged same day. I would also recommend the hypnobirthing online course (I think it is positive birth?).

OP it sounds like starting with a debrief might be a good idea if you’ve not already had one. There’s clearly quite a bit that went on and it’s not clear exactly what the sequence of events was from your post. They’ll be able to explain what they thought caused the bleeding/whether that’s something that’s likely to recur/what could be done differently to prevent it or manage it more quickly if it were to recur. They’ll also be able to advise about the psychological impact of it all and managing that. If you did have a PE (and it’s not completely clear from your post if you did or if that was just a strong suspicion as it’d be unusual to diagnose one definitively from ED and discharge straight home) then that has some implications for what may be the safest mode of delivery for future pregnancies.