Not enjoying second pregnancy, scared it will affect my bond with baby

[August21yellowbaby]

With my first I loved every single day of pregnancy, I've never felt so confident, was so happy and almost didn't want the pregnancy to end, then baby was born and I also loved newborn stage even though it was tiring

Currently 28 weeks with second and if I'm honest I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy. I've gained a lot more weight this time, don't feel confident, hate getting dressed, baby hardly moves so half the time I just feel fat as I'm almost not recognising I'm pregnant (I have had baby checked he's just a lot quieter than my first)

I just kind of want my body back now, I'm out of breathe carrying my toddler about, dealing with terrible twos with my first

My worry is that because im not enjoying this pregnancy it will affect my bond with baby, I don't feel as excited this time even though we tried for baby no 2 for a long time, is this all normal ? :(

I could have written this myself. Although my first pregnancy was a decade ago I remember it being easier and when I went into labour I remember feeling as if it happened too soon.

With my second I’m spotting in the 3rd trimester and counting down the days with so much anxiety. Plus pelvic pain. I just constantly feel on edge and like my body isn’t doing a good job.

But at the same time I did express my feelings to my midwife and she put me forward for counselling. I haven’t been diagnosed necessarily but having someone else to talk to beyond my partner who gives me a reality check has been nice.

Maybe speak to your midwife so that the feelings do not bubble.

I think many women feel like this and there is help out there so definitely reach out if you need it.

You’ll be ok. I struggled having my second. I’d had a tummy tuck with muscle repair and trying to grow a baby in there was so uncomfortable. I was also really sick and had terrible water retention and carpal tunnel. The labour was also much worse because I was induced. I didn’t bond with her straight away like I did with my first but by day 5 I was smitten and we have a lovely bond.

Please don’t worry, I had the absolute worst pregnancy ever; thought about not wanting the baby as it was so bad compared to my others. Constant vomiting, new illnesses every damn week, pains and bladder issues and the inability to do anything at times. Then I met her, and became besotted, of course the initial elation was partly just not being bloody pregnant anymore! But I am more in love with her every day! I’m sure you will be fine.