I'll start by saying I do suffer from anxiety and ocd anyway, always have done. I am 99.9% I am autistic, never diagnosed. My dc is diagnosed asd, my sister js autistic and has LD, cousins, nieces and nephews asd and adhd, so very much runs in our family. I don't think this helps with my mental health is my point... I struggle as it is.
My first pregnancy I was 10 years younger and because of that I put down the extreme anger outbursts and excessive crying as just being young, not long out of a bad situation and trying to navigate these new hormones.
Second pregnancy, extreme anxiety, wouldn't eat barely anything because I was scared of contamination, intrusive thoughts, constantly worried I would lose my baby, ocd went into overdrive and I was actually quite poorly.
Post partum I suffered again with my anxiety, convinced I was going to be attacked in the streets by either random men or dogs would snatch my baby. Perinatal mental team really helped me and got me on the right meds.
Third pregnancy less than a year later, hormones probably still at play but this time I'm not anxious but extremely stressed, just feel like I can't cope with anything. Any bit of stress and I break down, crying loads, I am so sure my husband wants to leave me (he doesn't, it's all in my head) but worrying how we'll cope with 2 under 2.
I love my kids btw, they're my world and more, I parent just fine. I just can't cope with how pregnancy affects my mental health !!
I've said I can't do this again, it's too hard on me, mentally.
Am I abnormal ??