Want to be left alone and focus on my mental health, lots of anxiety

[Aliceinmusicalland]

Ive hated people talking to me about pregnancy from the off. Read a few threads and found people who feel the exact way as, happy to be pregnant but just hate talking about it.
Mentioned this to everyone, everyobe in my family knows, showed partner threads. Told everyone if i want to talk ill bring it up, im at my happiest when im just left to it and can work, do the house chores and attend antenatal classes and do baby buying in peace with my partner.

Christmas we travel the 3hrs down to our families in our hometown. My grandmother (shes only 60) mentions it, my mum mentions its and shares medical info with her friend in front of me and mil mentions its.
I started.feeling reslly depressed so we came back.home early, i have been suffering with really bad anxiety ever since not relating to the incidents just horomones surge in 3rd tri im thinking.
Ive been working on feeling more relaxed and just enjoying being at home and being in control of when i talk to family etc. This has helped and i started to feel happier and could focus on organising baby stuff, housework and working.

This morning mil calls and asks how i am, if im feeling sick, having symptons and if im.able to eat?
My heart just started beating really fast and i felt like the nice safe bubble id be living in had been popped and i was back to be questioned again. Both partner abd mil aware on my stance and that im feeling depressed and anxious so i just said why do you care, why do you not listen to me when i say i dont want to talk about it. This caused sh!t, accused of being rude to his mothe, which maybe i was but ive said the same thing 100 times and not been listened too. I felt like i was going to pass out when she said it so it just came.out in a fight or flight sort of way.
Any advice on how on earth i get people to understand i just need space, peace and to be respected on the fact i just dont want to talk about it. Ive made plans for them to visit and baby sit( theyre very keen too) when shes here so they know im keeping them invovled.

Hormones are a funny thing, I do feel for your family. They’re clearly very excited and happy about the baby and by the sounds of it MIL cares about you and if your ok, you thinking just of yourself (sorry if you find this harsh) it’s all you you you and how you feel. Maybe think of how your family also feels and respect they’re wanting to talk about it and perhaps find a happy medium, little updates about you and baby but then leave it at that. That will stop you dreading being asked lots of questions and also those that care will worry less by knowing your ok.

youve worded that so rotten by saying your keeping them involved by allowing them to babysit, your lucky you have people who are willing to help. Don’t take that for granted, some people aren’t that fortunate.

I do feel for you, it's hard when you've put out a boundry and it's not being respected. On the other hand the closer you get to your due date, the harder it is for everyone to pretend that your pregnancy doesn't exist and mild questioning isn't unusual or wrong.

I understand not wanting to have to go on and on about your pregnancy (after all we are still just us, we've not suddenly become nothing but a baby oven!) but not wanting it mentioned at all is rather extreme and to have people ask how you are feeling setting off a mental health issue is a bit concerning - have you been able to speak to someone about this and seeing if there is any help available? Unfortunately this type of mild questioning is unlikely to stop once you have had the baby, they'll want to know how the end of the pregnancy went, info about your birth, how you are getting on in the early days/weeks/months of parenthood. As this is very triggering for you it might be worth getting some sort of support to be able to manage this without it getting out of hand.

In the meantime, get your partner to speak to the families (or at least the individuals who are causing you issues) and he can gently remind them that although they mean well, unfortunately for your this is a real issue and perhaps he can reach an agreement where they are able to contact him if they have something they want to discuss about the baby.