Hello,
I have recently moved to a new area with my 2 little ones, and OH. My OH moved here first as he had to start his job then I moved 3 months later with the children. Its been tough but I've stayed optimistic : partly tough because I've always felt I dont quite fit in with OH's friends, and thre were 3 couples here in the new city we are in that he knew since university and school. I tried my best and threw myself into it, but then I became pregnant (no one knows - now 12 weeks) and I have been so unwell I could no longer go out and have drinks, and be that "fun" as frankly I have been feeling awful, and with a BMI of 19 I have lost 3.5 KG so far, and am so exhausted, plus working full time that I dont have much left!
Im not just feeling so low and down. I work from home while OH goes out to the office. I am on my own the entire day. I work until midnight some nights, but feel so awful I often have to work from my bed from 4 pm so I can lie flat. We were invited to his work colleagues party tonight but i dont know anyone and feel so awful and sick - worse in the evening - that i really cannot face it. Standing even gets me so breathless. Tomorrow we were due to see a couple that he knew before and I got to know moving here. They just pulled out really casually (we chased and asked them if they are coming over and they said actually theyre going to another friends but sure we can join them there). Feeling as awful as I do, I dont want to go out of the house and was actually quite excited that I would get to see people with OH at home.
regarding friends - i think ive just realised that i dont fit in with the group my OH is in. There was a birthday during the festive period which I struggled to get to but did. It took a lot and OH and I were going away for 1 night with the kids the next day (first time in 2 years) as Id been so sick. OH was going for it on the drinks and one of the husbands was really winding me up, egging him on to drink. I left early, of course saying polite goodbyes to everyone but was visibly upset and as I left said to my husband I can't be bothered to sit watching you ruin our day tomorrow, its too annoying. No one called or messaged. and since i've heard from no one.
Now I just feel so alone and teary. One other woman I know who is pregnant (doesn't know I am yet) had mentioned her husband is away so I asked her if she wanted to do something (this takes a lot of courage for me and does invite nerves as I worry im not fun anymore). She responded sweetly but that she is having a girls night with an old friend who is coming over to hers. and I felt so sad reading the message. It ridiculous! But I just feel so alone.
now its Friday, I have a stack of work to get through, OH is off out straight from the office and I just feel so incredibly lonely. He even had booked a sitter expecting me to come, so at the moment its me and the kids and sitter which is stupid, but I keep thinking Ill just drive off to a class or something and sit on the mat and be around people at least! Its ridiculous I know.
What would you do? My past pregnancies I dont remember feeling so alone but I wasn't in a new place and did have friends around. I miss my friends terribly but dont want to tell them yet as I want to wait for some things to iron out before I feel strong enough to discuss my pregnancy. I know its meant to be a bit isolating at the begining, but wanted to reach out and see if anyone has any tips?