42 and feeling sad (third child)

[vrooomvroom22]

I am nearly 43 and have two wonderful children, age 10 and 7.
I always wanted only two. No desire for a third.
The past few weeks I've found myself thinking about a third child. I think it's because I'm getting older and the window of opportunity is closing, if not already.
I'm likely perimenopause and it feels like my hormones are screaming at me and I think it's this driving the thoughts rather than anything else.

Has anyone else experienced similar?

I think it's because I'm getting older and the window of opportunity is closing, if not already.

You are absolutely right. Combination of hormones and the human brain wanting what it perceives it can't have.

Very similar to you, I was 42 (with 4 children) and I was having peri-menopausal symptoms (hot flushes at night, lighter periods etc). This made me face up to the fact that this was my last chance to have another child. It was an easier decision because I have been broody for a while, and babies would make me want to cry. People would say I was crazy but I missed having a small child around.

My partner and I decided to try for a baby, and it took us 9 months to fall pregnant (sadly ended in a missed miscarriage), and another 3 months to fall pregnant again. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant at 43 years old, and looking forward to another child, but being pregnant much older is harder than all the previous pregnancies (so much sickness! Also my blood pressure is higher).

The most important this is to talk to your partner, see how he feels. It might be the hormones, or it might not. I think all women going through the peri-menopause ask this question, it is like someone just rang a bell and shouted ‘last orders’! It makes you think.

I read somewhere recently “do you want another child or do you want your children to be babies again?”

I am 33 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and last and I definitely only want 2 but I do think there will be some stage I will have to remind myself of the above! X

It's peri-menopause talking. It will pass, I assure you.

I agree with PeeBeee, I could also be missing my children when they were young. Having teenagers that refuse to talk is not the same as when they were small and would tell me everything, they were so enthusiastic!

Thank you. I'm trying to make sense of it. I think a third baby would be tough to
Manage but my body seems to be screaming at me!

I love this, thank you. "Last Orders" sums it up perfectly. I think raging peri hormones are banging on the door. It's taken me by surprise.

No 🤣 I had such a difficult time with pregnancy and the early years, literally as soon as I gave birth to my second child I was DONE.

Wow this is so true. I think part of it could
Be the dcs are growing up and all the baby/toddler milestones are long gone. This, coupled with raging hormones is rather potent!
Wishing you all the very best for your pregnancy.

This is when you start getting fur babies to help you through the last chance saloon egg drive!

I’ve been put into menopause and taken out it again (for medical purposes) and I can honestly tell you it’s the hormones. When I’m normal I have no urge to have a third, when I’m menopausal I have a real sadness and urge to go for one last baby. My MIL had twins in her forties (not intentionally they live in a country with no access to contraception) they’ve wrecked her body and she has enduring health complications from them many years on. She is my lesson not to listen to my heart when I’m hormonal!!

My experience of being peri is so different- I said to DH yesterday falling pregnant would be my worst nightmare and he agreed. We have 2 in high school and our unit is complete. I'm glad my peri symptoms don't include hormones making me broody. That said, I know several women who had just one more in their forties and all of whom dote on their late blessing. So we're all best to follow our own paths.

I had my third baby when I was 42 so not sure my comment is really helpful ….. but I am by no means the only one amongst my friends and peers so there are a few of us out there having babies still at this age!

Completely agree!
when my third came along the other two were also pre schoolers which I think made a big difference. If I’d had two in secondary school not sure I’d have been the same or if I’d want to return after a largish gap to all that newborn baby stuff again ……..

you can only do you though at the end of the day

I'm mid 40s, have adult/teen DCs and sometimes a voice pops up in my head saying "I want a baby!" - I categorically DO NOT want any more children, I think it's just the hormones/body clock panicking before it shuts down