Baby Number 3??

[autumn12l]

Bit of a long one so here goes...

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old (girl and boy).

First pregnancy I had hypermesis for 5 months, was on 4 different lots of anti sickness meds, and about 6/7 admissions to hospital in the first 3 months due to severe sickness/dehydration. I lost 3 stone during this pregnancy. But after the 5 months, my pregnancy went alot smoother.

Second pregnancy, I had hypermesis for the whole 9 months, on 4 lots of different anti sickness meds, around 15 admissions to hospital for severe sickness/dehydration, was finally put on a 6 week course of steroids to reduce sickness which helped but after the six weeks, Dr's wouldn't prescribed me any more so sickness came back which meant more hospital admissions. This then effected my liver and kidneys and lost around 3 stone with this pregnancy too. I also had to move back into parents while DH worked away so my parents could look after DD and me! (He used up all his holiday taking days/weeks off looking after DD while i was in hospital.

I was also put on blood thinning injections due to being bedbound for weeks on end.

After all this, I had a c section, and multiple health complications post pregnancy. It was all very stressful and traumatic.

After my second, I told everyone I was done, no more children and sold everything as baby got older (clothes, baby equipment etc).

This is where I probably sound really silly...

Deep deep deep down I think I always new I wasn't done but tried to convince myself I was done having children. I am super super grateful for my two children but I'm worried I'll regret not having number 3.

Spoke to DH about this and he would consider having a 3rd baby but is so so concerned about my health if I got pregnant again. The likelihood of me having a straightforward pregnancy is pretty slim and each pregnancy gets worse!

Also to add, my consultant at the time of second pregnancy advised me not to have anymore children. But I just can't shake the thought of baby number 3, it's all I've thought about for months.

I'm 28 so have time on my side but also don't want to leave a big age gap if we did decide to go for baby number 3.

My worries are:
-if we both regret not having a 3rd

• my health
• putting all the pressure on DH
• the upheaval to both DC

I'm probably just being really selfish and again I know I am so lucky for DD and DS.

Please be kind!

For many reasons, I wanted another baby. I thought long and hard about it and my mind was made up - I definitely wanted to go ahead. But my partner was 100% dead against it. In the end, he was actually more logical in his thinking and I had to put the needs of my current children before my own needs. It was honestly so difficult. I think in this case you may need to do the same, but only you and your OH can make the final decision.

I should add - I had to think about the needs of my current children in terms of what they needed from me and how that would be compromised for a few years through pregnancy and newborn stage. It just wasn't something That in the end I was able to compromise.

I think in your position I would leave it a few years and then reconsider.

There have been lots of advances in hyperemesis treatment over the last few years. E.g my friend who was hospitalised and bedbound when she had it with her first pregnancy is now doing much better with her second. If you revisit going ahead in a few years you could spend time researching what is now available and speak to your doctors.

Your children will also be older and better able to understand and as you’ve said, you are still young and have time.

Lastly, you have time to see if your longing grows or if perhaps you become more content with your current family. If your husband is undecided ditto for him.