Are first pregnancies any more likely to end in MC?

[meepthebeep]

Hi everyone,

I had a MMC in December and posted here at the time - huge thanks to everyone who responded to my thread. It was my first pregnancy and I feel I was totally naive. I thought uneventful pregnancy = baby, and got to 11 weeks before finding out my embryos hadn’t developed past 6 weeks. I had surgical management and am waiting for my period to return before we try again.

I’m still trying to make sense of what happened so have been doing a lot of googling and reading (so many) MN threads. I’ve come across people saying anecdotally that first pregnancies are more likely to end in miscarriage, or at least more likely than we realise. Has anyone else heard similar? Is there any data/information you’ve seen that supports this?

I’m getting ready to TTC again and am equal parts impatient to start and also terrified of starting in case we don’t conceive as quickly or in case MC/MMC happens again. I’m 30, DH is 32, we’re both healthy, non-smokers, runners, lots of veg in our diets. I’m taking preconception vitamins again now in preparation and am totally off caffeine too.

Just trying everything I can for a better outcome next time. TIA for any responses 🙏🏼

Just my experience. I had 3 early miscarriages before I had my daughter. Tried again when she was a year old, got pregnant straight away with my son. I wish you all the best with your TTC journey

Thank you for your reply @TikiCoconut576. I’m sorry for your losses but so pleased for you that you have your DC now. I just feel so bereft at the moment and I’m trying to make sense of it all, even though I know sometimes these things ‘just happen’.

I’ve just been to collect a Boots order and now they make you wait for it at the back of the store, which is where all the baby clothes and products are. I think that’s not really helped how I’m feeling today.

I personally don't think/have read anything first pregnancies are more likely to end in mc/mmc it's just bad luck. I had two successful pregnancies then had a mmc in April last year with my 3rd. Had some remaining tissue. But fell pregnant 5 months later and I'm currently 19 weeks. Odds are in your favour ttc again. Best of luck.

First pregnancy was very smooth, resulted in my son, next pregnancy was a mmc at 14 weeks and I'm now 27 weeks with my daughter. Did nothing different in the pregnancies, just luck of the egg and sperm I believe x

No, I don't think so. And nothing you did or didn't do caused the miscarriage, that is so important to remember. There's a lot of misleading information online which suggests otherwise. Most likely there was a chromosomal issue. So much of fertility and pregnancy is chance. Are you able to have some private counselling, as this really helped me get ready to try again. We waited a few months even after my period came back, and glad we did, it was good to get to a better place mentally. prioritise yourself, there's no rush. And be prepared it might not happen again immediately, as I said, so much is chance and luck! make some nice plans for this year, don't wait around for it to happen.

I think women who had a miscarriage first time are more likely to post about it as at that point you have no proof that you can carry a baby to term. If you have had previous live births, it will not reduce the pain you feel but you know that it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to have a healthy baby.

To be clear, as we know having a miscarriage does not mean you can’t carry a baby to term but a FTM is more likely to develop anxiety that perhaps this will be the case.

My first pregnancy ended up in a missed mc after years of trying but then got pregnant again 2 months later and I am now 29 weeks 4 days. Bear in mind however that my first pregnancy happened at 41 years old and miscarriages are much more common at that age.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I think our MMC was most likely a chromosomal issue, although it’s impossible to know, but they were identical twins in the same gestational sac, which I understand is really quite rare. So that points to something possibly going a bit wrong with the embryo, I think?

Sorry for the very self indulgent thread. I’m just trying to get my head around it. Over Christmas, I happened to see two separate TV programmes where a character got a positive pregnancy test and said ‘we’re having a baby!’, and I just thought ‘don’t get your hopes up’.

I think you’re right that because it was my first pregnancy, I’ve got into a bit of a spiral about whether it will ever happen for me, whether I can have DC. On one level, I understand that the odds are in our favour next time, but on another, I can’t see anything other than loss and sadness. Is that the grief? I thought I was doing ok but maybe it’s more of a struggle mentally/emotionally than I’d let myself think.

Please do consider counselling if you are in a position to pay for it (NHS wait list probably too long!) , it was a massive help for me after a MC last year. Don't underplay that fact that this is a huge trauma and grief. Counselling really got me to a far more positive mindset to try again, but also unpacked a lot of other stuff which has helped my mental health more generally. Worth every single penny.

Thank you @Daisies12, I’ve got an appointment already booked for next Monday - I’ve had a lot of counselling already due to childhood/self esteem stuff, and I’ve had a break of about a year but thought it would be a good idea to go back. I’m really glad it helped you.

I feel a bit daft for being so sad about the MMC. I feel like I might be being dramatic or overplaying it - although I’d never think that of someone else who had had this happen to them, that’s the test, isn’t it?

When I went back to work, one of my managers said ‘sorry for your early loss’, and I thought oh, does the ‘early’ mean I’m overthinking it? But then also I felt that that minimised the MC. The little embryos may only have been 6 weeks, but I carried them until what should have been 13 weeks.

My mum has also been really insensitive at times. We’re not close, and after I had surgical management, she asked if I’d had another scan before the operation, and when I said yes, she said ‘so it was dead then?’

Actually, the more I think about that, the angrier it makes me. Who talks to anyone going through a loss like that, let alone their daughter?

So yes, counselling will be useful, I think. There’s a lot I want to unpack - like you, some of it to do with the miscarriage, and some of it outside of that.

Thank you for your post x

I’m not sure it’s more likely with the first, I agree with a previous poster that it’s just more likely to be posted on here for the first. I’ve had four and and ectopic (all MMC), and it is very disheartening!

@meepthebeep I completely understand what you mean about your mum....mines a dick too. But I've just learned to call her out when she says something dickish.
Your not overplaying it at all. We all deal with things differently and the fact it was early doesn't make it less than. When I had my mmc in april it was the fact that the future I had imagined was just gone. We would have had our baby in November and would have had a 4 week old in time for this Christmas ....but that would never happen.
Do as much self care as you need too and be kind to yourself.

@meepthebeep would love to know how you are getting on? Also had a MMC with identical twins (same sac) on Monday and had an MVA that day and now not sure what to expect over the next weeks/month. X

@Herewegoagain0 I’m so sorry to hear that. The first week I had some bleeding on and off, and it gradually tailed off over possibly 10 days to a fortnight, I think. I was really lucky that my cycle returned quickly and thankfully regularly as well, and we conceived in February and I’m currently just over 15 weeks pregnant. Touch wood everything seems to be going well so far.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It’s so so hard and, although physically I healed quite quickly and my cycle came back regularly, emotionally it’s taken quite a while for me to feel back on an even keel, even (or especially?) with the new pregnancy.

Take really good care and please do feel free to DM if there’s anything else at all you wanted to ask about x