New baby

[NurseOwl]

I need some opinions please (be nice tho!)

I have 3 children to a very awful man who we ran from a number of years ago now. When we were married he took my name and therefore the children have my surname too. Im now divorced, with a new man and we are trying for a baby. He would like the baby to have his name, and actually i would't mind, but i think maybe the baby should have my name too?

What would you do? Have all the children the same surname?
Will the child feel different if they have a different surname to their sibling? Am i overthinking this?

Could both last names be used for your new child with your name last so all the children have the same surname?

Is that a common thing now, to have two last names? It's a possibilty, not sure if my partner would agree to it but it could work.

Double barrel, with your name first. For the sake of your new baby, having the same surname as your other children will be far less confusing.

Also, you’re not married, so I always say… why would you give your child his last name when he won’t give it to you.

should you get married you could make a change then.

My sister did exactly this and I think it is more common than people realise. At least the children won't have any confusion with the same names

Yeah, deffo an idea. Thank you. Although, my choice not to get married, not doing that again! lol.

I'm currently pregnant. And I've explained to my partner as we aren't married our daughter will have my surname. We are engaged but only when we are married will we change mine and her surname.

I think whatever you want. Would be nice for all the kids to have the same surname.

Is that a common thing now, to have two last names? It's a possibilty, not sure if my partner would agree to it but it could work
what do you mean he might not agree to it? Is he abusive and controlling? Why would he expect it to be his final decision?
You are the mother, you’re pregnant and you’re the one giving birth and likely to do most of the childcare. you also aren’t married so legally he has no right to name the baby or decide the baby’s name. He’s not the one who gets to decide here.

i would give the baby your name, or double barrel as a compromise. There is no world where I would give your dps name alone so one child is separate from all the others. Apart from that you don’t know for sure where you will be in a few years and if this man will still be in yours or the baby’s life, but you know you will be and you know it’s siblings will be.

Hey, thanks for your reply.

Hes absolutely not controlling or abusive (my ex was and would never tolerate that again) He's a gent and i just meant he would probably go more in the direction of 1 name i.e mine over giving baby 2 names.