When can I relax

[FirstT1meMum]

Hoping for some reassurance! 🤞

My DD is just over 2 weeks old, born at 37+4 weeks. We have had a couple of rocky patches with jaundice, no dirty nappies and now she's not gaining the weight expected.

I am really struggling to sleep when she sleeps due to the worry of sids. Myself and DH take it in shifts around feeds to make sure one of us is awake. I really struggle to not constantly be checking her.

Is this normal first parent worries? Does it get better?

It does get better, in a few weeks even. All babies are different, with a lot of factors taken into account but they will sleep for longer stretches and become a bit more predictable in the day. then the newborn phase will feel like a distant memory!

We used the snuza (snooza?) on baby's nappy when she was sleeping. Usually just night time but no harm for naps as well. Should put your mind at ease and get you some sleep.

@Flopsy145 thank you!

@ApplePie86 I had seen them before but never come across anyone who used one so wasn't sure if they worked as seen the owlet too but that doesn't get great reviews

Yeah, I didn't go for owlet after seeing reviews. Snuza is great. Alarm went a handful of times but only due to me not putting on nappy properly 🤦‍♀️ Let me know that it worked though!

I used the snuza, as soon as it went on I was able to sleep. It was the best thing we brought (and in fact we brought it from FB so much cheaper) Before that I was in constant state of panic about them sleeping. Simple to use without many ways for it to go wrong and we used it until 6 months when they started rolling.

It doesn't get better until they are 5 years old that's the truth. You won't get a good night sleep until then. Just everyone is beating around the bush.

@ApplePie86 @Mollydog1234 amazing to know that it worked! My job for tonight is to have a look at that now, thank you!

@anniz91 I did half expect it to be later!

I just don't like people saying that it gets any easier when it doesn't for years lol. Someone told me this straight to my face so now I just accept it! 😊

The whole not getting a good night's sleep thing can go on for ages because some babies/ sleep well and some don't. But that's a separate issue from the SIDS anxiety.
I wasn't as anxious as you (in that I did sleep when mine slept, but I did stress about it a lot) but I found it improved gradually as they get more robust. Certainly by 5/6 months I was much more comfortable leaving them in the cot to sleep without being directly watched (in and out of the room or on a baby monitor from 6 months). I also had a bit of an anxious start with feeding issues and some dodgy blood results and I do think that can make you extra worried and vigilant so I totally get that.
I will say that sleeping in shifts is not sustainable and if an owlet or similar will give you the peace of mind to sleep when she sleeps you should definitely go for that. Anything else that helps relax you is worth a try. e.g. I always used sleep sacks (had gro snugs when newborn) as I worried about blankets.

Thank you, this is exactly how I feel. I was so prepared for the sleepless nights but just not how anxious I would feel.

We are getting there with the cot and moses basket and DD is finally starting to do half hour- hour stints and then we try to relax and I'm trying to increase the time I don't watch over her to basically train myself!