Two under two

[AverageJoan]

Just unexpectedly found out I am pregnant again. Our LG was born October 22 and this one would be due late August/early Sept 24. We were going to start trying again in May/June time anyway but I just can't get my head around it.

Also we just got home from Thailand and the rest of zika worries me.

Does anyone have any advice for two under two vs waiting that bit longer?

Hello! I don't have any advice im afraid but am in the same boat - both our babies have the same dates! I'm choosing not to think about the logistics yet, haha! My and my sibling had a similar age gap and we grew up as best friends. I'm really hoping the same for mine too, although I know it's not possible to predict.

Really hope things go well for you :)

So I have 22 months between my two and initially it was quite hard as my oldest had a speech delay so couldn't communicate well at all for quite a long time.

Recently, now they are 3 & 5, things have improved so much. They sleep reasonably well, they're fun to be around, they're best friends with each other, entertain each other and the travel well so holidays are great.

0-3 is a bit of a stint but as each phase passes, it gets a bit better. My youngest had a medical issue which didn't make life any easier so fingers crossed you don't experience this.

Enjoy it! It's chaos and your house may not be as tidy as it is now ever again (🤣) but it's fun and they will really enrich your life! Even when they gang up on you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Congratulations btw!!!!

I had two born less than a year apart. It was fine, I was a single parent and managed fine. You will be fine I’m sure

29 mths between my DDs. It was hard work for about 18mths, but having them so close together made lots of age based activities much easier as they got older and they are very close now they're grown up.

Thanks for sharing @donutosaurus , they sound lovely and so good to hear that they get on well :)

I'm so excited for my DD to meet the new baby! I'm sure she'll be an amazing big sister.

I had this. It was a bit of a slog for a few months but at least they both napped. Going forward, it was great. They grew up together, were at similar stages and are now late teens and super close. It will be fine.

I have 18months between my two.
Won't lie it was tiring for the first year or so but it's great. They grow up together, attended a lot of same clubs/hobbies at same time.
They're 14 and 15 now (girl then boy) and are still really close, good friends. I'm glad I had them close together. Enjoy!

I had two under 1 - you do just cope and now they're older, they get on incredibly well and are so close (when not annoying the living shit out of each other).

Things I found helped - remembering I was avoiding the crawling baby putting things in mouth combined with older child discovering Lego type age combination!
Decent buggy - and then teaching the older child to walk holding onto the pushchair - I had a hand loop that joined onto the pushchair that I taught them to hold which worked well combined with backpack reins as a safety backup (DD1 was a buggy refuser from the time she started walking).
Having somewhere I could pop the baby down close to hand in any rooms we were likely to be in the house helped a lot as well - I had a travel cot in the lounge which meant if I needed to manage a toddler deathwish situation combined with when the baby started to get mobile - I could contain one half of the double act while preventing the other half from getting up to mischief. I had to be quite selective about playground choice at times - went for fenced ones where both kids were contained within a defined area, and it worked out OK.

They aren’t always close, mine aren’t at all and never have been so not a given sadly!

I also had two within 18 months and it was very tough for the first 3 years and now as young teens it’s great. They are independent from me and close to each other despite being boy/girl. I highly recommend!

There's exactly 21 months between my 2, they're currently 21 months and 3.5. I'm not going to lie, it's been all consuming and overwhelming at times (and I have a lot of support). However, watching the bond between them grow is amazing! I wouldn't have had it any other way.

@GaroTheMushroom it is luck of the draw it seems! I've known family members who've grown closer in later seasons in life but weren't at all close as young adults/kids, so these things can change too.

14 months between mine and I love it. The early days were pretty hard going but now almost 5 years on they're best friends and it's easy to do things they're both interested in. Routine saved my sanity, I did a lot of driving to get the nap times coordinated. A double buggy was a must.

Double whammy for childcare was a killer but luckily my work were great with the hours I requested plus I had help from my mum which was really appreciated. I don't have to pay anything now they're in ft school. They also get on well with each others friends (so far) which helps with play dates and parties etc.

I have no regrets at all.

17 months between mine, eldest has recently turned two. I love the age gap and it's been much easier than I anticipated tbh.

(Congratulations!)

15 months between my first 2, LOVED the age gap, my fave! Then had 2 year gaps so had just short of 6 years between 1 and 4.

I have two who are 16 months apart and it really helps that DD1 is in a strict routine that our second DD fell in to as well.

Get out the house as much as possible once you're in the swing of things.

Staying at home all day with two small children is hard🤣

Accept all the help you can get.

Your eldest child will adapt to the new baby and all the changes that comes with it. It's hard and emotional at first but it does get better.

The 4 month sleep regression is hell especially adding another toddler into the mix, but again, this does get better as well.

My two are great in nature and I just love having two close together, even when it's very challenging. They have a lovely bond!

16 months between my 2 youngest. My big one was 7 when number 3 was born.
It was exhausting I won't lie. But I was a sahm and I was v happy. I had and still do have a v supportive hands on husband who kept the house running and dinners made while running a business and never did anything except made my life easier.
That helps.
They are 20 and almost 22 now and while they had some hairy years in peak teenage time which clashed with the hardest of lockdowns, they are now the best of friends.
They are completely different personality wise and they respect each other massively.
I had 4 sisters and my mother fostered jealousy and one upmanship. I fought every day to try teach mine that they don't have to be best mates but we respect each others life choices.
But god that had the most amazing games when they were small. So much fun they had.
Those days at home with them as babies and toddlers were some of the happiest I ever had.
Good luck and congratulations!

Awww @Doteycat your post brought a tear to my eye! What a big adventure life is.

Thanks for all your comments and experiences!

It definitely does help my first is in a pretty good routine and she is a very mild mannered baby (plus she does sleep well on the whole which is always a plus)! I think I'm just having a hard time getting my head around it because we were just getting to the point where we have a little time to ourselves again now she's a bit older and staying with grandparents more 😅 but I do see the benefit of having them have a pretty close age gap