Feeling guilty

[Grantown]

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and have suffered from severe nausea since 5-6 weeks. I haven’t felt like myself for 8 weeks or so due to the exhaustion plus the nausea when that kicked in.

We have told immediate family about the baby and they are over the moon and so excited. They often contact me telling me how delighted they are, offering me hand me downs etc which is lovely but I find it overwhelming.

I’m feeling guilty for not enjoying my first trimester. This worries me that I’m not going to create a bond with the baby. I can’t get excited about this pregnancy while I’m feeling so nauseous and exhausted all the time. I’m crying some nights because I feel so unwell and I feel sad that I’m not as happy as those around me. Don’t get me wrong, this is a very much wanted baby and I look forward to the baby being here. I’m just not enjoying the here and now.

Does anyone have any advice please?

Why anyone expects to enjoy their pregnancy is beyond me! Try and appreciate it though. Of course your bond won't be affected, that's a slightly ridiculous thing to say. Maybe tell your family to back off a bit, that would really annoy me - after a MC I'm fully accepting I won't enjoy my next pregnancy and wouldn't want others gushing over it.

No advice, but just to say I too felt the same as you. I felt really awful during my first trimester with vomiting and having two young children to care for. My mum frequently wanted to talk about the baby and I just had to tell her that I just wasn’t feeling excited at the moment because all I could think about was how awful I felt! She completely understood. Week 13 I felt so much better and actually began to feel excited.
It will get better!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! First trimester is rough, I felt awful too, miserable and spent lots of time napping and being generally useless which didn't feel good. No one could have prepared me for the intensity of the nausea either!! I had several friends pregnant same time who seemed to breeze through things, it affects everyone differently. Now I'm 25 weeks, feeling much better and since the bump has started to grow feeling much more connected to my pregnancy and baby, definately more excited now.
Take one day at a time and just do what you need to to get through, like I said, I napped loads just to stop feeling sick! Also it might help to be honest with family and say you are feeling sick/exhausted, I've found lots of people were empathetic when I spoke about the difficulties, eased my guilt a bit! Good luck and I hope you feel better soon x

Thanks everyone for your replies. The only thing that helps the nausea is napping, my record was a 5 hour nap on Wednesday! I’ve taken some time off sick to focus on getting rest and looking after myself.

I definitely feel useless as my partner is doing the majority of the housework and looking after the dog but I know he doesn’t mind and just wants me to be well.

I will definitely tell family that I’m not feeling very excited right now and hopefully they rein it in

OP I'm at 13 weeks and finally am at the point where I can stay awake more than a couple of hours after work.

First trimester wasn't awful for me, but certainly not enjoyable! Do not feel guilty one bit.

I was feeling sorry for myself, but a bit of TLC from partner, friends or family made the world of difference - reach out for support if you need it.

Good luck! :)