Hi Shelbypfaff - congratulations!
Even at 37 I was absolutely terrified about giving birth. I recall at 5 years old I turned to my mum and told her I would never have children because I was under the impression childbirth would be too horrific to go through.
For years I put it off due to this fear, and I eventually found myself pregnant in summer 2022. Oh the dread! For most of my pregnancy I was unwell with nausea and then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (awful condition) and I wound up having to inject myself (yet another phobia) with insulin for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I pretty much panicked intermittently throughout the whole 9 months with the thought of labour and the unknown. I think it’s the unknown that scares us the most.
The only thing that really calmed me was the plan I made: it was cast iron (I know, plans are just that and are supposed to be flexible etc, but it’s the only way my brain would allow myself to stay calm - I say do whatever it takes!), I didn’t want any medication for as long as possible, so that I’d be able to have a water birth. My trust had told me that certain medications would eliminate my wish to be able to have a water birth and I was pretty much hell bent on wanting that water birth. I had huge rows with my consultant because my trust were over cautious (and rightly so) with gestational diabetes mothers and wanted to induce me at 38 weeks. I finally decided to “talk” about induction from 40 weeks onwards. But the thought was my worst nightmare. At 38 weeks and 39 weeks I had a sweep which I wasn’t sure did anything.
In March 2023 I went into labour spontaneously at 39+4. I awoke at 5.20 I. The morning and felt different… and leaking slowly which I couldn’t control. A call to Triage at 7.30 asked me to come in to be checked over and once in Triage at 11am, I was examined and told I was 2cm. They also broke my waters fully whilst examining me (I didn’t feel anything at all). Within half hour I started contracting - nothing painful at all, the doctor could just see my stomach tightening every few minutes. So they put me on an induction ward to keep an eye on me.
All day I had the tightenings, which gradually felt like period cramps (getting a little more intense) and then around 6pm I requested 2 tablets of paracetamol.
I was checked at 7pm and told I was 3cm, but because the cramps were getting a little too intense for me, they wanted to take me up to the delivery suite so I could be put onto my chosen medication; gas and air.
Being told that 8 hours after my initial examination that I’d only progressed 1cm really disheartened me but in all honesty, part of me was with it and part of me was somewhere else throughout the whole experience.
At 10pm I told the midwife I was starting to feel something different, and an urge to push. She checked me at 10.30pm and said that I was at 10cm and if I felt the need to push, to go with it. I asked if I was able to get into the pool but they declined, saying that the heart monitor was picking up 3 heart rates; mine, my daughters and an echo of mine as it was beating so strongly.
At 11.45pm a team of doctors came in and told me that I needed to get baby out within the hour else I would need assistance. My midwife was amazing, she took me off the gas and air as she was sure it was that which was hindering my concentration. I gave birth on all 4’s on the bed, unmedicated, and the only thing I remember “pain-wise” is the burning sensation I got when she was crowning. But the midwife poured a few jugs of lukewarm water over that area and within seconds it was gone, and seconds later my daughter was here. I had no tears, just a minor graze.
The euphoria that follows birth is phenomenal. When they hand you your baby, every single second is worth it.
My birth plan may not have been possible, but I’d do it all again in a heartbeat and I no longer fear birth. My midwife said that because I’d listened to and worked with my body, I’d avoided tearing.
I did need a bit of help with the placenta but all in all, I actually really enjoyed the experience and as most people say, if it was that bad, why are women having 3-4-5+ children willingly?
I’m doing it all again in May 2024 and honestly the birth is the last thing on my mind; I’m focusing on decorating another nursery, buying the double pram, buying clothes my son will need (I donated all of my daughters clothes including unisex items because I never thought I’d have another but here we are haha!) and generally getting excited about growing our family.
What will happen will happen. It is only for a day or 2 and then your life with your little one begins. The only advice I can give is what my midwife told me; listen and work with your body.
Oh, and perhaps I’d advise to really read up on postpartum healing - I found that part a bit rougher than labour.
Best of luck on your journey and I hope you pop back to give up an update on how it all went!
All the best!
xxx