Positive experiences - mental health & babies

[CCrowe]

Hello,

I've been having a very bumpy couple of years with a specific anxiety / mental health issue. I've worked in mental health myself all my life so I know all the advice, it's just been very difficult to get back on track.

I'm in the second trimester of a much wanted pregnancy - it's not generalised anxiety that I have so I'm actually feeling pretty good about the pregnancy itself and managing the normal anxieties I think as well as most people. I have support, a wonderful husband and supportive parents.

I worry about when the baby is here and how I will manage with the mental health side along with the new challenges. I worry about the whirlwind of the newborn phase. At the moment, I'm often taking hours out of the day to manage stuff around my mental health and I know that won't be easy to do. I also worry about how physical pain and lack of sleep will affect me. Sometimes I feel a grief for not being able to fully experience the potential joy that is there around this pregnancy.

Any positive experiences of people with anxiety / depression / other mental health issues once your baby arrived? What helped you?

When I was pregnant with my first I had severe anxiety after a fertility journey and previous miscarriages. I completely blocked out the thought of bringing a baby home and couldn't see it having a successful ending. It was all consuming. And then of course there was the fear of post partum depression following a very detached pregnancy... I started talk therapy referred through the midwife in my third trimester.
I was eventually induced because of the anxiety at 39 weeks and following a positive brilliant induction experience (yes it is possible) I was handed a healthy perfect baby boy much to my surprise haha
I carried on with the talk therapy, my partner took a full month off work when we brought the baby home and I made sure I asked for help before things became too much / needed sleep.
Luckily for me I had a really positive newborn experience and those mental health fears melted away. I don't feel guilty about the detached pregnancy and the hours wasted worrying instead of bonding with my bump, it was just something I got through, pregnancy for me was mentally tough but the pay off at the end was worth it and that was that. You're doing great. Keep going.

I suffered with my mental health after the birth of my first baby. I had something traumatic happen afterwards (not related to the birth, baby or anything like that) and I ended up with PTSD. During that time, I would sometimes feel completely broken, I’d feel useless - why wasn’t I constantly on cloud 9 with my beautiful baby. You can feel overwhelmed and guilty for not feeling like you can give your all to your baby. But, that’s ok. Try not to be so hard on yourself about it. Having a supportive husband and family is a massive win. Speak to them, ask them for help. Try to do that before you feel completely burnt out. Where I am, I was able to refer myself for therapy because my anxiety was through the roof - I worried about everything to do with the baby but also felt like I didn’t do enough. Luckily, my family were also brilliant. I would lean on them, if my partner couldn’t be off work, my mum would come and watch baby while I slept or nipped out. Definitely talk to your family and most importantly; don’t be hard on yourself about it.

Thank you for the thoughtful comments, that is so much appreciated. xx