Why can't I get excited about my pregnancy?:(

[rahrsh]

17 weeks pregnant , found out I'm having a boy gender wasn't a issue for me I wasn't bothered which I had, but I cannot shake this feeling of not caring about the pregnancy? I'm not excited. My partner keeps asking me if I've bought anything and I haven't , I was supposed to buy things the day I found out why I was having and I just looked at the clothes and walked passed them. My friend asked if I was ok and I said yes because I don't feel depressed or down I just can't seem to make a start , it's like there's no motivation/excitement/willingness. I'm petrified that I will have postnatal depression after having the baby as I have depression and anxiety generally but it's controlled and I know how to handle it after having it 11 years. I've always been so excited in both my pregnancies and this one's been awful. Having HG sickness all through, then sciatica and can barely walk at 17 weeks already! School runs are a nightmare, partner works everyday, pregnancy has cracked all my front teeth, it's just not been a very great pregnancy so far and I just want to feel happy about him coming but I don't and I feel awful about it , I'm also struggling bad with my anxiety and birth as I've always been induced due to GD but I wa strayed at 13 weeks and it was ok this time I'm petrifed of giving birth naturally as we have one person to have our kids and my partner works a lot what if my waters go and my mother in law is working as she is a A&E nurse or my partners working far out. This is my biggest fear I can't just ask for induction ☹️ I don't really like my midwife to even talk to her about this so I just don't know what to feel.

Didn’t want to read and run. Pregnancy is such a strange time which I’m sure you know having done it before, emotions and hormones are all over the place and not necessarily reflecting how we actually feel. It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time of it so far so I’m not surprised you’re feeling the way you are. Can you change midwife or perhaps speak to your doctor to help with your physical symptoms as well as how you’re feeling? Does your partner know?

I know it’s hard not to think forward however you may end up being induced again with this one so try not to worry, easier said than done I know x

@Goblet93 I know I'm trying to think better etc, the induction situation is really stressing me out and I'm only 17 weeks I was even thinking selective c section but again I have 3 other kids and my partner works so I don't think that will work x

@rahrsh I had very very bad prenatal anxiety and depression, I ended up having counselling for it and it really helped. I had concerns about being a good mum and birth. My sister had told me I wouldn't handle it. It wasn't that I didn't want a baby, it was just the what ifs that was killing my excitement.

Is counselling something you would consider?

@Fawklight I would consider anything that would make or help me be a better mum, I was told by so many people on Facebook groups not to tell the midwife how I felt because they will get social involved I said surely not it's a normal thing to have blues isn't it? I haven't ever had it with both kids but life's more hectic now with more kids I just wondered am I more lazy now or am have I done this twice I just arnt as excited because I've done it all etc

Social won't get involved unless you're suicidal and either attempting while kids are in the house or have plans that involve the kids. Really don't worry about them at all, they're all about context and they have much bigger issues to sort out for people. And if you do get so ill you get referred to SS, intervention is likely to be voluntary and they can actually advocate for you with the MH/medical lot to make sure you get the help you need, chase them up, make calls to the right people etc, which was really helpful in our case (PPP due to bipolar).

OP, I wasn't even slightly excited about DC2 throughout my pregnancy. I know we're not supposed to have favourites and I hate saying this but from the moment she was born I've been closer to her, she's recently 2 and we are still much closer than I have ever been to DC1. And I was really bonded to DC1 in the womb but when he was born I didn't believe he was my baby for months (EMCS + PPP) and couldn't bond.

I think it's normal, I self referred myself to the counseling service and I actually didn't have that many conversations with my midwife at all. I was under consultancy care and 90% with both midwife and doctor had a trainee in the room 🤷.

Considering how your hormones go in pregnancy it's not uncommon and given your history in births I don't think anyone would judge you for being open and honest.

I was induced, and am currently pregnant with my second. I am also nervous about the birth situation. I've already decided I'm going to have an epidural.

The NHS website has an entire page on depression in pregnancy.

I had hg and felt like pregnancy was to be endured and was too ill to be looking forward to anything I just wanted it to be over. I adore both of my children and felt better the day I’d given birth to dc2 (complications happen with dc1; sepsis) than the entire pregnancy.

@pinguins I think that's normal as me and my friend always wondered why we was so close to our second rather than first and I feel awful saying it too it feels like my eldest has got older and my second he's a mummy's boy so much so the bond is more there.

@Weallnamechangesometimes yes I had pre eclampsia in first pregnancy too I got ill and induced at 37 weeks on the dot