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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Dealing with pregnancy anxiety

5 replies

He2508 · 24/12/2023 00:05

Hey all,
Does anyone suffer with pregnancy anxiety? I'm 41 and have 2 kids already (15 & 10). Am currently 11 weeks along with this one and I'm filled with constant anxiety that everything's going ok in there.
I had a scan at 8 weeks because I was bleeding and cramping and everything looked good - little heartbeat was a real relief to see and such a precious moment!
I don't see a midwife for booking in until 4 January, so will be nearly 13 weeks by then. I am desperate to have another scan to check everything's ok.
I get days when I don't feel pregnant and then days when my head's stuck down a toilet feeling like arse.
Does anyone else suffer with anxiety that their baby is ok and struggles with not being able to see it?
Any hints or tips on how to keep calm?
Thank you Smile

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MrsTosh87 · 24/12/2023 01:46

I've had a lot of anxiety as this is my first pregnancy. I'm 30+ 3wks. Throughout pregnancy I've had really bad days where I've felt awful and then some days where I don't feel pregnant due to feeling fine. And the randomness as to which I'll feel has caused anxiety. Is everything OK? Has something happened etc? I paid for private scans when there's been a long gap between antenatal appointments just for reassurance. I appreciate that I am fortunate I am able to do so. These feelings will get easier as baby becomes more obvious in their movements (which I didn't feel till 23/24 wks+ with an anterior placenta). However I still find myself getting worried about different things. It's natural, we care about this little life we are growing. Try not to dwell too much and if it gets overwhelming try talking to your partner or a friend. It helps to vent how you are feeling. Sending virtual hugs!

MoonIightDreamer · 24/12/2023 02:04

Hi , yes I do. So much so that my anxiety is creating more anxiety.im 10 weeks and have multiple scans already in the week leading upto my last scan I barely slept for days. I was living on 2 to 3 hours sleep a night because id convinced myself something had happened. Then the exhaustion was making me more stressed that maybe that will have harmed the baby. I panic over everything I eat , everything I do.
I have so much cramping, severe cramping ect and ZERO symptoms which I think has really fueled it. I went onto my last scan convinced baby had passed away but baby was doing ok. That was on Thursday and I'm already concerned again for it.
We've been trying 18 years and needed ivf and it kinda feels like a miracle baby.

I had a miscarriage last Christmas which I think probably hasn't helped my anxiety.

Your definitely not alone. Its such an awful state of mind

MrsTosh87 · 24/12/2023 02:21

I may be wrong but in his minds he sees ... 1. You're stressing about finances so he works horrible hours to keep you afloat > you get lonely and he sees that -> he will be pursuing another job to help ease the stress on you -> are you stressing still about finances? -> maybe OP should see about getting help/support to see if that can help lessen her worries? In his mind he's tried all he can to try and improve things and men tend to get a bit frustrated when they see a clear logical solution and we're still emotionally reactive. My husband has asked me if I was leaving him cos I was so miserable feeling lonely and he didn't want me unhappy. He saw himself as being the cause of my low mood thus offered me a way out cos he cared more for me and my mental health than his feelings. Which is completely the wrong way in which I wanted his support. Told him so quite thoroughly lol

MrsTosh87 · 24/12/2023 02:22

Please ignore the above. Baby brain kicked in and I replied on the wrong post ><

chillin12 · 24/12/2023 02:23

Aww bless you. I remember my first pregnancy. And my God, I was just crippling with anxiety. I was awake all night, most days, every minute of the waking day, filled with dread. Add lots of excitement in there, but it doesn’t minimise the fear of the unknown. It is such a scary time. I have anxiety anyway, and heightened paranoia. I’m also a chronic over-thinker.

Truth is, you really just don’t know. However, I kept the faith, believing that since I’ve already come this far, gotten pregnant, unless there’s a sign/indication to worry, I’ll keep an optimistic outlook.

I also religiously read all the birth statistics, and assured myself that, scientifically, it’s much MORE likely for things to work out, than not. I had gestational diabetes, hence, regular scans. That did put my mind at ease, as I was frequently checked. Also, I was very attentive to baby movements, any vaginal discharge, and pain etc.

Other than that, I just came to a level of “acceptance.” That I’m already in this moment, each day gone, is a day closer to meeting my baby. Now I’m here, present, as is my baby in utero. I prayed and prayed. Practiced positive thinking. I went with the approach that, I would not worry, unless I have a reason to. And ensure that every little worry is checked out.

Good luck, and I hope everything goes well!

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