Sonography revealed sex of baby at 36 weeks!

[SamanthaLoves]

Hi lovelies,

Wondered if I am overthinking or overreacting here but today I went for a growth scan at 36 weeks and also to check if the baby is still breech and believe I was told the sex of our baby.

Thankfully and gratefully the baby is doing really well and has turned around.

Before even starting the scan I said ‘we do not want to know the sex of the baby’ (I’ve said this at every scan because even tho we don’t mind girl or boy we wanted it to be a surprise)

As soon as she started scanning she then said ‘he is now the right way around and no longer breech’

I replied saying you just said he and I didn’t want to know.
she replied ‘I thought you said you did…’ then stopped and said well I haven’t scanned over that area yet when I obviously know she had scanned the all of my stomach already!

she then made it worse by saying I usually call the babies ‘they’ and then called the baby a ‘he’ again before changing to ‘the baby’ for the rest of the scan.

To say I was upset is an understatement esp with only one week to go until I’m full term.

whats your guys opinion? I don’t think this can be seen as a mistake?
anyone else have this happen to them before?

I mean, not ideal and of course upsetting but there is nothing you can do about. I certainly wouldn't be complaining.

It's a shame but not something you can complain about.

I think you are right when you say you are thankful and grateful that your baby is doing well and you are in a free country where you can give birth in safety from war and disease. Nothing else matters really does it?

Was it NHS or private? If NHS I wouldn't complain as they're probably stressed/overworked, if private it might be worth complaining as they might take more care with others in future.

It's a shame, but it can't be unheard unfortunately. Time to get excited about meeting your son!

Hopefully it’s just been a blunder and will still be a surprise for you. At every scan with my baby girl, they always referred to her as a boy and I had to keep checking but many said it was just a standard thing they did.
It’s upsetting but I wouldn’t complain.

I’m sorry, that would wind me up too but occupational hazard. From my non-pregnant perspective it feels like an ‘oh well, that’s shit’ thing, but of course it’s not.

For context - and I’ve NC for this in case! - we didn’t find out with DC1 and had a lovely surprise with DD. Second time around we decided we wanted to know to prep DD for incoming baby etc. I had a bleed at 18 weeks and had to go in for a check, DH was at home with DD so I was on my own. When the consultant (who wasn’t an obstetrician, it was the weekend so not in EPU and I get that doing a scan would have been a bit of a novelty) asked if we were going to find out the sex I said yes, not thinking anything of it. After she’d confirmed baby was ok (and thank god they were) she said ‘well if you asked me I’d put serious money on a boy!’ with a big smile on her face.

I never said anything because I’m sure she didn’t think anything of it and was excited to give me a ‘sneak peek’ especially given it wasn’t her day job - but I was so gutted not to share that moment with DH, we’d been so looking forward to it. And then I had to pretend at the 20 week scan like it was new news to me. DS is nearly 2 and I’ve never told him I already knew. Wasn’t anything to do with disappointment - I honestly was happy either way as DD either had a sister or I got one of each - but I don’t think sometimes medical professionals yet how much it matters when you’re so in the zone with pregnancy.

Congrats either way and I hope this doesn’t hang over you too long ❤️

I'd try and have a little perspective if I were you.

You wanted it to be a surprise and it was. Four weeks earlier than planned but what a lovely pre-Christmas surprise!

A heathy baby boy, the right way up.

What were you massively upset about again?

Well you won't know for certain until thr baby is born. Not long to go now, and you'll be happy either way anyway.

I found out my 4th was a girl after 3 boys the day before her birth when the scanning midwife (checking size for induction) said "oh, she kicked me!"

It's one of those "mildly annoying but not the end of the world" moments, surely?

I think generically some sonographers use 'he' but I would have thought at 36 weeks it might have been obvious to you if you had seen the scan, unless you weren't looking.

Yes it is unfortunate if you didn't want to know, we didn't find out until birth, but I think in the circumstances concentrate on the fact that everything is going well

Had the same happen on my 3rd, didn’t find out for the older 2 so we always wanted surprises. Didn’t think much about it after. It was just a funny story.

Well said.

Lots of other things matter. OPs preferences and consent matter.

Great post!

You’d have found out in a month anyway. Congratulations on the Big Reveal of your beloved boy; an early Christmas gift! Enjoy these last few weeks before you meet him, which will be the best day.

I was in your exact same shoes 22 years ago! My entire family was saying, “You’re carrying a girl! It’s obvious!” Wrong! The 36 week growth scan revealed all! 😆
HE is currently out celebrating his anniversary with his girlfriend. 🥰

I wouldn’t go and buy anything blue, he can just be picked as a term rather than it! And if it is a he I’m sure she meant nothing of it, most mums probably do know by that point and I’m sure it wasn’t to upset you. A head down boy at 36 weeks would prob show it all the second the scanner was on if you were looking at the screen so she may have thought you saw! Enjoy your scrummy baby x

It's been irritating for you obviously, but I can't say it would bother me at all. I certainly wouldn't bother complaining and would just let it go.

Personally, I don't really get this "wanting a surprise" argument. You know that you will have a boy or a girl anyway, so it isn't really a surprise. .......... or maybe that's just me.

Honestly, it’s just one of those things. Don’t complain.

It would be pretty obvious if you looked at the screen anyway.

Good luck with your healthy baby

I was told girl after wanting to know. A scan at 32 weeks even said a dd. Ds arrived at 40 weeks...

I'm really sorry to read that OP and greatly sympathise. Something similar happened to me at 20 weeks with my DD, who had taken years of fertility treatment to conceive. DH and I had decided not to know as she was undoubtedly going to be our only child but I had to have an amniocentesis due to a spina bifida risk and one of the doctor's assistants simply read the sex out at a follow-up appointment when my DH was not there..

I srill find it hard to console myself with the argument that I just had my surprise a few weeks earlier. It meant a lot to me/us for us to find out together in the delivery room after all we'd been through and I still feel sad about it. Yes, of course I was thankful for a healthy baby and would not have swapped that for the world, but I was nevertheless disappinted too.

Firstly you are being completely precious and you really won’t care in 2 months.

secondly my friend did the exact same thing swooning and complaining her surprise had been ruined as the sonographer said he…
she very much has a 3 year old boy