Not happy it's a boy

[youarenotfunnyLDN]

So my lovely DP is 22 weeks and we know we are having a girl. I had to beg her for us to find out the gender because I noticed that she was lying saying she had found out it was a boy.

Anyhow, It's now clear that she just wanted a boy and no girl at all. I am not sure how to take this and I fear she may not be fond of the baby as I will be.

She already has a teen girl and a young boy(he has autism, not the easiest to manage, not copying even in the appropriate school etc.), I somehow suspect she looks at it as to compensate for the small boy , though she as not said it out loud, it sometimes comes off like this.

How can i approach this head-on and because she has made it very known she is unhappy that it is a girl.

Get some therapy for her?

I'd be far more concerned about the lying about the sex of the baby. Doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship you are bringing another kid into. Honestly, your DP needs to be grateful for a healthy baby, get some perspective.

Why did she lie about the sex in the first place?And how did you 'notice' she was lying?It's not like she could have kept it a secret for long

I think life was easier in the Olden Days, when you didn't find out the baby's sex until it was born.
And it's sex, not gender, OP.

Gender disappointment (yes I know it should be called sex disappointment) is very common. Most women come to terms with it.

She is entitled to feel any way she wants to about the baby she is growing in her body. All you need to do is listen and be supportive. It’s not for you to fix.

Also how did you “notice she was lying”?

I'm confused about the title

Yes.
It says "Not happy it's a boy" whereas the baby is actually a girl.

Maybe OP doesn't want it to be outing but got mixed up.

Yes its a bit confusing

As a nurse -midwife of 40+ yrs I am agog with you & your partner

1-You both require couples' therapy like a flower needs rain . It is imperative of you both to do this as individually & as a couple Your children demand this from you in order to have the best start in life
Her lying to you about your daughter's gender may not have anything to do with the situations you have cited but that is for her to discover .
Good luck to ye!

No sure how direct I should have been .

Long story short, my DP is not happy we are having a girl, she wanted the baby to be a boy.

Thank you for teaching me the word "agog". I learn something new everyday

@youarenotfunnyLDN your title says it’s a boy!

You have a healthy baby on its way and you / she are worried because it is not a preferred sex? Get therapy fast.

It might be that your OH has entrenched sex roles or that she had a difficult upbringing with a parent who had entenched sex roles. Therapy. Or else just make yourselves get over it. You have an actual human being about to enter your lives that you will be responsible for. Grow up.

The general consensus is once baby is here, Mom will get over it.

The bigger qn is why she lied, it's not like you wouldn't find out. What's been said about that and how you found out?

I noticed she was lying because her daughter came to ask me why I did not want to know the gender and I asked her why she had asked, she replied "mum told the sonographer that when they had been for an appointment recently" . She had not found out and it's now clear it was all because she did not want to feel disappointed. I went with her on friday and we found out