Early days and waiting for news (after previous loss)

[Oxalis00]

Hi, just wondered if anyone in a similar situation wants to join a handhold thread? I had a MMC earlier this year (found at what should have been 12 weeks) and a MC at about 6 weeks the cycle before that. Had a hunch I was pregnant this time around but then started bleeding. Took a test anyway and it was positive! I’m on progesterone now and no more bleeding but all feels very unreal and don’t dare to believe it’ll work out. I’m very early days (only 4 weeks something).

Anyone else? (And if so, how are you coping?!)

Hello,

Similar, this is my sixth pregnancy and the previous five have been early miscarriages.

We had an early scan a couple of weeks ago and I was convinced I’d miscarried but all was well. I have a follow up scan Wednesday and I’m terrified, haven’t slept in two nights and find myself just bursting into tears randomly. I don’t want to face the prospect of a mmc , I’ve been there before, and frightened progesterone has just delayed the inevitable.

how are you coping? Are you going to have an early scan? X

Nice to meet you @Hoping4amiracle though I’m so sorry for your losses - the years of hope and pain, and how it then turns to hopelessness and worry. How far along are you now? How many weeks will you be at Weds scan? It’s really positive you’ve already had a good scan, risk reduces significantly after seeing a HB, but I can understand the continuing worry. Do you have much medical support? Is there anything that helps you to settle your mind?

I’ve not decided about an early scan yet… GP gave me a month supply of progesterone (on EPU advice) and said to test again in a couple of weeks. I guess if test is negative I’ll stop the pessaries and that’s that. If it’s positive then I don’t know if I’m supposed to get a scan? I guess I’d go back to her for a discussion and further prescription. I’m nervous about progesterone masking a MC, and having had a MMC I know a positive test doesn’t necessarily mean good news, so I think I’d want a scan as soon as it could be definitive (ie not while it’s still to early to say). But I also have in mind spending time with pregnant relatives/new babies over Christmas and NY, and that I don’t really want to see them either while MC-ing or with false hope. I could get a 6 week scan between Christmas and NY but I suppose there’s no guarantees of a HB then. It muddled my mind a bit to be honest. Def won’t be waiting till 12 weeks for a scan though!!

PS. I should say I already have a child, 3yo, and this process is made much more bearable by her existence. My heart goes out to those struggling TTC (+/- MC) for a firstborn 💛

Lovely to meet you to @Oxalis00.

I definitely understand what you mean when you say you don’t want to spend time around babies and pregnant women - I love babies and kids but right now it just adds to the pain.

All going well I will be 8 weeks and 4 days on Wednesday but my symptoms are negligible and I’m bracing myself for bad news. I thought that last scan … but I just don’t expect good news at scans.

if your pharmacy is anything like mine they will take a few days to order the cyclogest in so you might want to request some more so you have a little stockpile - if that’s possible for you.

It must be such a blessing to have a little girl especially at this time of year and I’m sure she doesn’t give you much time to sit on Google scaring yourself! Xx

How are you getting on @Hoping4amiracle? You must have had that scan by now. Thinking of you.

Hello,

I was a crying wreck going into the scan but baby was doing well. I need to try and be more positive but it’s so hard and I’m already starting to get anxious again.

Did you opt for a 6 week scan? How are you keeping? X

Oh I’m so pleased baby is doing well, though I can totally understand the stress of it all for you. It’s a horrible time of not knowing, and feeling no control, and there are so many things to worry about if you let yourself. Any ideas on how you might manage that anxiety?

I’m also very anxious. In theory 6 weeks today (longer by LMP but I know ovulation was a few days late) and I’m finding it hard to believe this could be a pregnancy with a baby at the end - I’ve been worried about MC, anembryonic and most recently ectopic. I took another pregnancy test last week and it was still positive, holding out now till after NY and if it’s still positive then GP said to call to arrange an early scan. So until then all possibilities are on the table, and my mind cycles endlessly between them. It’s exhausting! And I just can’t seem to step away from Mumsnet… Reading endless stories of people having ectopics etc is probably not helping :(

Hiya - sorry for the delay.

Funny you mention mumsnet, I read an article that was talking about pregnancy forums and how they are contributing to anxiety in pregnancy. The reason they say is because most women on these forums have had ‘negative’ experiences (like us) but they are the minority and it can make us feel like complications in pregnancy are more common than they are. I’m trying my best not to google too much - hard as it is.

I thought about getting a Doppler if all goes well at my next scan but midwife says it’s a bad idea if I’m anxious.

I don’t know if I will ever calm down - hoping if I get to a point where I have a bump and can feel a baby moving then I might be less anxious but that feels so long away.

How are your symptoms? Have you been sleeping? Xx

Yes that makes complete sense about the stories on a forum like this being skewed towards the unusual and bad news. It’s so easy to get whipped up by other people’s stories and lost in comparisons. I find a lot of support and encouragement here too. I just need to not scroll all day every day…!

I would be wary of a Doppler just because it’s so hard to know what you’re hearing and it could cause loads of unnecessary worry. But I completely understand wanting some way to access what’s going on in there and seek reassurance. You’ve had an awful time of losses, it makes complete sense to be worried and want to do everything you can to avoid that situation and those feelings again. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Have you been offered any antenatal counselling/CBT? Might be worth taking up if your hospital has it. I think I will if/when I get to booking appointment.

I think that holding to statistics would be helpful for me, and practicing some sort of mindfulness/affirmations. And getting out of the house. And Googling much much less…!

Hey,

Haven’t been offered any kind of counselling to help deal with the stress and anxiety and tbh I think I could use it. Will say to the midwife at booking in appointment - unfortunately it’s over two weeks away.

I think there was some spotting today - I say think it was very light if it’s there and my other half thinks I’m mad but I think I see something. Sorry if it’s too much info but do you see anything? Crappy time of year as I can’t call epas or midwife for reassurance til after NY x

Bless you @Hoping4amiracle - it’s such a stressful time. I can see a tiny tint on the paper but I wouldn’t call it spotting - just discharge, or possibly b vitamins turning your wee yellow! I don’t see anything to worry about there. Def talk to midwife re MH support though - or try via GP beforehand. It’s a really hard road and we deserve all the support we can get.

Thanks - I definitely had a wobble last night.

Feeling a bit better today but I think you are right in that I need to talk to a MH nurse, I’m really starting to annoy my other half if nothing else as I’m constantly having episodes were I think I’ve lost the baby.

How have you been coping these last couple of days? Do you think you will ever relax into the pregnancy? X

Hi ladies how did things turn out for you, I’m hoping everything was good,
I’ve had 4 losses and currently 8 weeks was put on progesterone from week 6 I had one heavy bleed but have had brown when wiping everyday since being on progesterone,3 scans have come up fine, I’ve had some sort of flu the last few days and now my breast a done seem so sore and constant hunger has calmed down so I’m worrying again.

@Bonbo Sorry you find yourself here, the uncertainty of those early days is so hard - and there’s so much to worry about if you let yourself. It’s weird reading back through my thoughts from last year, and how anxious I was about everything. I’d forgotten some of those details. Happily that pregnancy is now a 4 week old baby! I had one fresh red bleed at the very start of the pregnancy and then used the progesterone pessaries. Who knows if they made a difference. Brown discharge could just be the pessaries irritating your cervix, and three positive scans is brilliant. I know it’s so hard to wait, but keep going!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I also have a retroverted uterus and rectocele so things aren’t in the right place in there which I also read can cause spotting ect, so generally I had come to terms with the brown being normal for now it’s just the loss of pregnancy symptoms that has set me off again but reading more posts on here is reassuring, I’m so pleased everything turned out perfect for you 😊

I have a retroverted uterus too apparently. Just another thing to Google and fret about…! For what it’s worth, my experience of pregnancy symptoms is no indicator of success - I had the strongest symptoms in my MMC. Try to hold your nerve, and do whatever you can to find calm in this waiting time. Good luck!