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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

feel more bewildered than ever!

10 replies

trishpops · 15/03/2008 10:02

I'm due to give birth in 7 wks and i've been on mumsnet a few times, and until i first visited the site i was blissfully ignorant about the strength of opinion out there! still feel shocked at times about the arguments that blow up over such personal issues as breast feeding.... wish i'd never been on some of the threads in a way as i would have remained in my little bubble of calm, thinking that no-one would look down their nose at me if i didn't breastfeed/give up work/stick to a routine/call my baby jack if it's a boy....etc.
can't help but wish i'd stuck to books. incidentally the reason i came on the website is cos someone gave me the mumsnet book which is really good.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pruners · 15/03/2008 10:07

Message withdrawn

Original poster

trishpops · 15/03/2008 10:12

that's my point pruners. I'm a strong person with strong opinions too but i'm not judgemental, so i struggle to understand why people get so vitriolic about things that don't affect them in anyway? why can't people just post "well this worked for me". seems to b very little respect for others choices. think i'm feeling super-sensitive today, normally i can just skim these threads and put it out of my mind.

OP posts:

constancereader · 15/03/2008 10:15

To be honest I really see little vitriol in the feeding topics - there is much more helful advice and support imo.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/03/2008 10:17

I think because you are pretty much anonymous on here, people aren't scared to post their opinion. However it would be a different story in RL.

All through pg there are hormones whizzing around which can make you feel vunerable. It's also a time when a huge change is coming up in your life and you want to do everything right. So hearing these strong and differing opinions can put you in a bit of a tailspin.

There are days when I don't even bother looking at certain threads as I know I will feel really ranty or upset about them.

Carry on living in your bubble, just make sure it is a well informed bubble

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 15/03/2008 10:24

Also - people are trying to madly type while doing other things as well and so often they come out quite blunt as it's too much trouble and time to add all the extra flower - I know that I'm guilty of that alot of the time and I just assume that everyone will take it as read that I mean 'in my opinion / we found that / just a suggestion / you could try this / I would probably.... etc'

GerrardWinstanley · 15/03/2008 10:28

anybody who tells you you should always or never do x, y or z is talking out of their arse. Sorry to repeat the cliche but you will be the expert on your baby and only your and your dp/dh will know what's best for your family.

look on mumsnet as good practise for the real life judging you will get from complete strangers once the baby is born - complete strangers admonishing you because your child doesn't have a hat on or taking offence because you refuse the chocolate biscuit they're offering your 5mo.

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 15/03/2008 10:30

I just take everything that everyone says and puts it in to my pot of thoughts or ideas and take out what I want and blow the rest.

Original poster

trishpops · 15/03/2008 10:36

Aaah i'm glad to get some nice messages. very true about the complete strangers advice bit, that's happening already! got told off by the till girl for buying chips in the canteen at work, when ususally i never even go in there!!! feeling but better now. thanks.

OP posts:

katyjo · 15/03/2008 12:48

Hi trishpops, It can get a bit wild on here when you ask peoples opinion, but if your in trouble or need advice people are really helpful and not usually judgemental, besides what does it matter if they are, the only person that knows about you and your baby is you! I think its really important to remember that, you are the expert on your baby, Yes listen to advice (believe me you will get alot once baby comes) but take it all with a pinch of salt and get used to nodding along (while thinking you are talking a load of cr**)

As far as bf/routine/giving up work you make your own decision about what is right for you, you will feel guilty no matter what most mothers do and I think that's while people become so defensive of the choices you make, if you struggle to bf to guidelines then someone tells you it is better to formuls feed it makes you feel like sh** and the same if you formula feed and someone looks down their nose at you.

Don't put pressure on yourself, we all just struggle through and do the best we can, no one is perfect! Try to enjoy every minute of your new baby, nothing else matters. If I have learned anything its to lighten up and try to relax and enjoy the time with your baby.

Lulumama · 15/03/2008 12:52

you do whatever you want to do and whatever works for your family

there are a lot of experts on here in the fields of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and waening... and with that comes passion and strength of feeling, especially when correcting urban myths or misinformation ...

no-one actually will look down on you for breastfeeding or not, or having an epidural or not..

if you are comfortable with the decisions you make, it won;t bother you if other people disagree or have stronger feelings about doing soemthing the opposite way

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