Scared to tell my employer I’m pregnant

[HayleeLee]

Hi All,

I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant and dreading to tell my employer. Mostly because I’ve been in my current job only for 8 months when I’ll need to break the news it will be 11 months.

I feel shit because it’s not even a year anniversary since I started my role. In my previous job I worked for nearly 8years and I was planning to have a baby but it affected my mental health and I couldn’t take it anymore. Me and my husband are at the age where we didn’t want to delay any longer due to my new job and we also didn’t know how long it will take.

The company I work for is a massive international organisation with well established maternity policies and pay, which I’ll be entitled to but I’m more worried about the judgement that might come from my manager due to my short service within the business.

Also I need to note I work in team of 15 and I’m the only woman. For some reason I am so worried how my colleagues will take the news. Some of them are a bit old school and sometimes let some sexist jokes slip but nothing directed towards me tho.

I’m just feeling so anxious when I think I will need to tell them at some point :(
Anyone got any advice?

I don't think anyone will bat an eyelid to be honest! Remember the point at which you tell them isn't the point you leave, you'll be there way over a year when you actually go on mat leave. I would advise though although you don't have to tell them before is it 24 weeks you might either have to tell them sooner because your showing, and also it might be good to tell them in the next month or so because it'll give them longer to prepare for your absence which I'm sure they will appreciate. Congratulations on your pregnancy and enjoy it, don't worry about telling your manager at all!

Just editing to say, you can also tell your manager sooner so they can begin to prepare, but ask them not to share your news with the team so you wait longer to tell them if you'd feel more comfortable with that - that's what I did so I didn't have to keep taking random days off for midwife appointments and stuff

I remember this fear. I found out I was pregnant the day I found out I was shortlisted for a new role. I started the role at around 9 weeks. Think I got to maybe 13 before making an appointment with the manager to discuss.
He was young and new to the role. When I told him I was pregnant he went bright red and started stuttering, obviously hadn't had to deal with it yet. So to reassure I just smiled and said "It's ok, it isn't yours"

I know there's a point by which you have to tell, but if they're going to need to recruit cover then the earlier the better I think. Good luck

Woman up. It’s no big deal. It’s your right.
And use some of that strength to challenge the sexism too
💪

Tell them when you need to, no rush. After Christmas will be fine.

My lot all guessed though when I wasn't drinking 😆

I had to tell my boss before I even started! Ha my 12 week scan in my first week!

Baby is now 7 and I still have the same job

I honestly think they will be fine. I started my current job in August 22. Was pregnant by March 23 and told them in May 23. When I went off I had only been there 16 months.

I'm having a year off. It's a large engineering company but had very family friendly policies. They have been great and very supportive. Baby is now here and just this week they have sent me a huge gift box for her x

@JoyeuxNarwhal 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@HayleeLee Just do it. It'll be fine. It's a big organisation. They'll be used to it, and have policies and procedures in place to deal with it. If your colleagues judge you (and I bet they're not, if they are that old fashioned, they should be pleased for you. They should be anyway! ), so what? It sounds like the only person judging is you!

Also, your employer needs to do a pregnancy risk assessment for you. They can't do that if they don't know. It doesn't need to be a big announcement. Maybe ask to speak to your line manager next week, then tell colleagues just before you finish for Christmas so there is space between you and them for a while whilst they digest the news.

Congratulations x

Don’t worry. I didn’t tell work till after my 20 week scan personally, there’s still plenty of time for then to make arrangements.

By the time you go off you will have been there for over a year.. it’s not super quick. And it wouldn’t matter if it was.

I got pregnant straight away in a new job and had the same fears as you but remember it's just a job and this is your life- you're entitled to have a baby! I'm still in the same job years later- they'll get loads more work out of you (and sounds like they'll have got nearly two years of you by the time you actually go on mat leave) but this is the only time you'll be pregnant with your first so enjoy it and don't be apologetic. Work will always be there

Someone I know didn't tell her colleagues she was pregnant until 36 weeks when she said BYE! See you in four months time. They were all like what?! I can only assume she just didn't really "show".

I really don’t think your timeline is bad at all, I’m 10 weeks pregnant and only been at my job for 5 months, I’m due just under a year after I started.

When I started my job I was 8.5 weeks pregnant (surprise pregnancy) and was dreading telling them but I had a MMC at 12 weeks.

This is now a planned pregnancy, I just keep thinking at least it’s better circumstances than it was with the last pregnancy so I don’t feel bad about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know I’m going to be working here for many years, the reason I joined this company is because it’s more suited to family life, it’s just happening sooner than originally planned but I know they’ll be supportive when I tell them in Jan (all being well) x