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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Petrified about giving birth

59 replies

Daisychain98 · 12/12/2023 20:01

Only a month pregnant and already I am absolutely petrified about giving birth. My anxiety is consuming me. I feel like I can’t do this I am so scared. I was over the moon when we found out as we were TTC. How did you deal with your anxiety?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mynameiscalypso · 12/12/2023 20:02

I had an ELCS!

MargotBamborough · 12/12/2023 20:02

Is there a specific thing that scares you or is it just the idea of giving birth in general?

Gro · 12/12/2023 20:03

Do lots or reading about it. Watch one born every minute.

If you really can't bare the thought of it tell them you are having a c section.

bluefrills · 12/12/2023 20:04

I feel the same @Daisychain98. Delighted to be pregnant but the thought of giving birth terrifies me. I’ve been thinking a lot about an elective c section but I want to do more research before making my decision. I haven’t had my booking appointment yet (it’s on Monday) and I’m going to speak to my midwife about the way I’m feeling.

Following this post for words of wisdom from other mums!

MargotBamborough · 12/12/2023 20:06

I wouldn't recommend watching One Born Every Minute, there is lots of drama and running around and screaming.

If it's pain that scares you, I would recommend getting a low dose epidural to take the edge off (but ideally light enough that you can still be mobile afterwards).

Newsenmum · 12/12/2023 20:06

Gro · 12/12/2023 20:03

Do lots or reading about it. Watch one born every minute.

If you really can't bare the thought of it tell them you are having a c section.

Sorry but do NOT watch this! Very much awful for tv.

Read hypnobirthing and do pregnancy yoga.

ChocChipPancake · 12/12/2023 20:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on OP's request.

Neveraga1n · 12/12/2023 20:09

I was totally petrified. How does something that big come thru a hole that small. I am terrified of needles. And pain.

I did hypnobirthing. It was amazing, first birth didn't go according to plan, induced and had petihidine (8lb baby) neither did second (9lb born at home, shoulders got stuck, no pain relief and it was very easy) but mentally it got me ready and enabled me to cope.

I am old and did the marie Morgan method-very American but there's now lots of other options.

Dryshampoofordays · 12/12/2023 20:09

I did an online hypnobirthing course which really helped me to feel confident about giving birth. I did the Positive Birth Company one and would recommend it.

Gro · 12/12/2023 20:09

Watching one born every minute was how I dealt with my anxiety which was what op asked.

I found it useful to see the ones that went perfectly, the ones that went terribly and everything in between. Yes there is an element of drama but it is still real lived experiences of birthing.

Newsenmum · 12/12/2023 20:11

Gro · 12/12/2023 20:09

Watching one born every minute was how I dealt with my anxiety which was what op asked.

I found it useful to see the ones that went perfectly, the ones that went terribly and everything in between. Yes there is an element of drama but it is still real lived experiences of birthing.

Ok it’s just known to be badly edited to cause drama and causes uneccessary anxiety in a lot of women.

user628468523532453 · 12/12/2023 20:11

Gro · 12/12/2023 20:09

Watching one born every minute was how I dealt with my anxiety which was what op asked.

I found it useful to see the ones that went perfectly, the ones that went terribly and everything in between. Yes there is an element of drama but it is still real lived experiences of birthing.

"Real" except it's edited for entertainment value.

Bootoagoose123 · 12/12/2023 20:12

Look up birth-Ed on Instagram

Autumn1990 · 12/12/2023 20:13

I was terrified of giving birth for the first 5-6 months of pregnancy. When I got to 8 moths I was so fat and uncomfortable I was desperate for labour to start. I think it’s fairly normal in the early stages to worry about birth but a pointless because it’s so far off and toi feel so different at the end of pregnancy.

ZenNudist · 12/12/2023 20:13

It is worrying when you haven't been through it but it really isn't as bad as it sounds and the end child is amazing.

You are pain free between contractions. Once I realised that it got so much better. Water bath / birth pool makes a real difference. Gas and air helps.

Go to ante natal classes and do natal hypnotherapy. Really helps.

PinkPrawns2 · 12/12/2023 20:14

Please speak to the midwife about this when you have your booking appointment. We have a perinatal mental health team who can support women with tokophobia (fear of childbirth); they can make a personalised birth plan and help liaise with the labour ward/birth centre/consultants to help you have the birth you need 😊

MontblancTheSecond · 12/12/2023 20:16

Go to antenatal classes so you know what’s happening and why.
Furthermore it helped me to know that my body was made for this. Woman have been doing this for millions of years and with the current medical care you’ll be well taken care off.

Hayliebells · 12/12/2023 20:17

Hypnobirthing really helped my anxiety a lot with my second baby. I didn't for one minute think that it would take the pain away, but it really helped to make it less scary, and I had a good experience with that labour.

gotmychristmasmiracle · 12/12/2023 20:17

So was I , ended up with c section and never had a contraction, was so relieved. Looking back, Wish I just had an elective c section instead of stressing myself out with all this Hypnobirthing, labour etc. do what feels right for you, do t listen to anyone else unless they are medically trained x

ChateauDuMont · 12/12/2023 20:28

How long have humans been around?

Don't you think if it was that bad, humans would have died out?!

I've given birth twice and it was absolutely fine.

bozzabollix · 12/12/2023 20:29

My husband sometimes gives anaesthetic to those giving birth. I didn’t have an epidural but he tells me you’ve got women in labour literally sitting having a nice chat being told they are having a contraction because they can’t feel it. Opt for everything to be as pain free as possible, ignore the natural birth types and make it easy on yourself.

My second was an elective C section, literally you turn up and hand yourself over. Yes the recovery is slower but the actual birth is no effort and incredibly controlled and calm.

And keep away from the types who delight in telling you the worst birth stories, they will be about.

It’s a day, keep telling yourself is a twenty four hour period and you may be one of those incredibly lucky women who do the birth thing fast and easily and then it’s way less than a day.

I went into hospital with my first at 7am buying the papers en route, went into labour properly by late morning and my first was born by 3.15pm. Was back home eating all the previously banned for pregnancy food by 9pm. Recovery was really fast from that birth, think I was out and about shopping a couple of days later.

The reward is seeing yourself and your partner in miniature for the next however long it takes for them to get bigger than you, and it’s great.

Jane0Jane · 12/12/2023 20:30

Get some support. There are often counselling pathways for women with tocophobia x

ActDottie · 12/12/2023 20:32

Due to give birth for the first time next month :) I was terrified but now feel quite curious about what it’s like and just want to meet baby now. What helped me was reading/watching birth stories and realising women give birth all the time it’s what we’re designed to do. Also had my antenatal class last weekend and that was really good as I could ask all my questions that I was anxious about.

rosyglowcondition · 12/12/2023 20:36

Ask for a c section. Simplest way around the fear. I had 2 normal deliveries and if I'd been offered sections I would have snapped them up. Ignore all the waxing lyrical. Childbirth is brutal and scary.