first time pregnancy - labour

[Marzipan23]

hello,

i'm 5 weeks pregnant with my first baby - hasnt quite sunk in yet as thankfully I feel pretty normal other than a few cramps!

I've always wanted a home birth, I have a bit of a fear of hospitals and I think being in my own home would make me feel more relaxed, but I've just read they are less recommended for first borns. does anyone have any experience they can share? I dont know anyone thats had a home birth. I'm aware I dont know what my circumstances will look like yet and decision may be out of my hands as baby is currently a pumpkin seed at most!

If I do need to be in hospital how many people are usually there? I really dont like the idea of doctors and midwives being able to walk in and out, i'm a very private person.

hoping for some words of wisdom!

I've known people to do a home birth with their first. I think the risk is if you need any assistance, a friend had to be transferred to hospital for emergency c-section. Also at this stage you won't know if you have any risk factors.

As for how many people are in the room, initially it was just me, DH and midwife. I'm the same as you, I'm quite private and I actually posted on here in my third trimester asking similar questions.
About half way through they asked if a student GP could watch - but at this point I really couldn't give a damn who was in the room or not, though I pretty much banned the midwife from leaving me, I liked having her reassurance that everything was ok. After 2.5 hours of pushing they also called an obstetrician in as they thought I needed forceps, turned out DD was stuck on cervix and on the next contraction he pushed it out the way and out she came. I was so grateful he was able to do that and didn't need further interventions.
So that was it 4 people in total. But could have been just DD and midwife.

very true on homebirth - trying not to over think it until I know what i'm dealing with!

thank you so much this is really helpful, I've heard so many stories of having doctors and midwives just popping in and out of rooms and its my worst nightmare!

I think i'm gravitating more towards homebirth because i'm worried about being in a situation where I dont have control of my surroundings and who else is in the room!

They prefer you don’t plan a home birth as you don’t know how you’ll cope and so many transfer in for pain relief.

i really wanted a water birth in the MLU but when I went into labour I quickly realised I wasn’t going to cope without pain relief. I really struggled to keep myself calm, I was in with reduced movements and there was meconium in the waters so I wasn’t allowed on MLU. I ended up with an epidural at 5cm. I just wouldn’t have coped at home.

for me, despite being high risk I only had a midwife with me 1:1 my entire labour, except for the anaesthetic at my request for the epidural; until my naughty baby turned the wrong way and a consultant came in to perform a scan to ascertain baby’s position. Nobody was in and out.

My friend would've 100% died if she'd have had her first at home. She was in her twenties with a low risk pregnancy. A major post partum haemorrhage out of absolutely nowhere. Even in hospital it was very touch and go. It's not even that rare, I can think of 3 people off the top of my head who experienced similar. Sorry to be blunt but it's so important to be informed.

With my first I laboured at home for 12 hours then did just the last few at hospital in a dimly lit room with my music and it was amazing. I think people forget that a 'hospital birth' can still sometimes involve LOTS of at home time, especially for a first. Try to see it as less of an 'either or' type thing, it can kind of be both. Good luck.

I had a hospital birth (was supposed to be birth centre, but ours was closed that weekend due to staffing shortages).
I had a private room, one midwife at a time (shift change partway through). I also had a student but I could have declined that.
I had a water birth and went home 6 hours later.

I would recommend reading 'why home birth matters' which covers a lot of the 'what-ifs' and different scenarios around homebirth, reasons for transfer etc. Truly life or death situations resulting from homebirth are very rare. Midwives are well trained and will recommend transfer at the first sign of anything being untoward. With my first I was recommended to transfer after 18hours of labour and being totally exhausted. I gave birth in hospital but don't regret one moment of my home labour.

Secondly take 'I would have died if i'd been at home' anecdotes with a pinch of salt. That person may have had a drip, ventouse, forceps, epidural, who knows, that all raise the risk of complications, and all of which you're more likely to have simply by being in hospital.

Of course you could always opt for a midwife led unit as a middle ground but I would say if your instinct is to be at home then follow your instinct. I forget where I read it but the most powerful thing for me was 'humans are the only animals that build their nest and then leave it to birth their babies'

Good luck!

I would add, the decision is absolutely in your hands. The smallest thing can put you on a pathway to hospital birth but remember these are guidelines, not rules, and don't take into account your personal circumstances. If you're on Facebook you could join Samantha Gadsdens Home Birth Support group - there are hundreds of real birth stories from members covering all different scenarios, which should give you some confidence too X

That’s true PP, however both myself and my friend had babies with shoulder dystocia and my baby would have most definitely died or been severely disabled had I not been in hospital. Thankfully they managed to get my friends baby out without any special equipment but she was so relieved she went with the doctors advice of being in hospital rather than at home. And this wasn’t her first baby! She had all the gear at home for a home birth.

you definitely have to do what’s right for you but a hospital birth doesn’t have to be ‘bad’.

also OP, all transfers have to be via ambulance. So if there’s a wait, you’re stuck waiting too. Even if you can walk round the corner to the hospital, they won’t let you.

thank you this is so helpful, i'll do some reading based on your recommendation, I love the quote about humans being the only animals to leave their nest, thats exactly how I feel!

thanks everyone this has given me a lot to think about and made me feel very reassured, i've only ever heard war stories about hospital births of not being listened to or respected and its sat on my brain a lot heavier than I realised!
I also didnt think about spending as long as I can at home if I do need/decide to go for a hospital birth, that does make me feel better.

There’s not much privacy in pregnancy in all honesty. You get used to all sorts of random doctors/nurses/midwife’s checking you over and you just have to remember that they are doing their job and making sure you and baby are safe. It is intrusive though so please don’t think I’m minimising your feelings.

You are very early on in your pregnancy (congrats btw!) and my advice would be to be open minded as there may be complications further down the line which would make a home birth more dangerous.

I had two c-sections so my advice is not really relevant but my DS was very poorly straight after birth and spent a couple of weeks in NICU. After going through that, I would advise you (and any parent) to opt for the safest birth possible and to listen to the doctors advice (but also do your own research.) It still makes my heart wrench when I think of what might have happened to DS if the surgical team hadn’t responded so quickly immediately after birth.

My hospital do tours prior to birth. I found it really beneficial to be able to familiarise with the hospital, ask questions etc so it was all less of an unknown when I did go in for the birth. So it might be worth seeing if your hospital do that so you can at least get a proper feel for it before making any decisions.