6 months pregnant and husband has left me

10 replies

AngieR87 · 10/12/2023 09:55

I'm currently 6 months pregnant wirh baby no4 and baby no 1 with husband. He decided its over between us. He's being so nasty and cruel to and making me mental health really bad. He won't stop with the nasty and hasn't once asked about baby or made an plans for when baby arrives.

Obviously I'm going to have to do this alone. But I'm not sure what I should be doing. Should I keep him up to date with my pregnancy? Should I allow for him to see baby although he's done nothing kn this pregnancy to provide or help me.

OP posts:

SkyFullofStars1975 · 10/12/2023 09:57

Block all contact, then give this headspace when you've delivered and are back on your feet again. You don't need this shit while you're trying to grow another human being - let that be your focus here.

Ttcmumma · 10/12/2023 10:04

I wouldn't update him, but if he does try to be in babies life I wouldn't stop him. I don't think it's fair on a child to keep them away from their dad unless they are a danger to them but he definitely doesn't deserve anything from you or any updates etc especially as he isn't even asking!

You've got this 💪🏻

Original poster

AngieR87 · 10/12/2023 10:08

I appreciate this ladies. I don't feel I owe him anything either.
Honestly I'm really worried about giving him baby when she comes. When we spoke about sterilising things for baby he said he never did with his other babies so won't be doing it with this one. Before we moved in together too I remember him telling me he left his kids alone to go to a shop a few streets away. To be he isn't responsible and I don't trust him with my baby.

OP posts:

Ttcmumma · 10/12/2023 10:43

@AngieR87 giving him access doesn't mean he can have baby alone. Personally I wouldn't hand over a newborn for the dad to have overnight etc, they're just too little to be away from mum in my opinion but doesn't mean he can't visit at your place etc until she's a little older x

Original poster

AngieR87 · 10/12/2023 10:46

Thank you for that. I wasn't sure if I was being over the top thinking like that too. He wouldn't even face me to collect his clothes so I don't think you'll agree to have access at my home. But right now I can't do much about it

OP posts:

Ttcmumma · 10/12/2023 10:54

Nah definitely not, I guess he either accepts that or gives himself a battle. Only other way is if he has contact for a few hours at a time only or with someone you trust that he will be around. So he's not alone with her without another trusted adult

Candleabra · 10/12/2023 10:57

No I wouldn’t give him any headspace until after the birth at least. I also wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate so he wouldn’t automatically have parental responsibility.

Olika · 10/12/2023 11:00

Just concentrate on yourself, your pregnancy and your kids for now. He isn't your priority. Once the baby is here he can meet supervised until he proves to be able to take care of him/her when the baby is a bit older. As he is your husband he has parental rights and responsibilities that need to be taken into consideration once the baby is born.

Catapultaway · 10/12/2023 11:13

AngieR87 · 10/12/2023 10:08

So what he told you before you moved in makes you think he isn't a responsible father... but you moved in and decided to have a baby with him anyway?
Ignore him, why are you still talking if he doesn't want to talk about the baby, its all that you have to talk about. Who's initiating these talks?
When the baby comes the balls then in his court. If he steps up then great, but start preparing to be doing it alone.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 10/12/2023 12:36

so how long ago did you move in together? he leaves his kids alone and you felt it was a good idea to reproduce with him?..and you already have 3??? seriously what is wrong with people?

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