Was this creepy?

[Rock97]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Had to ask this question because it’s eating me up. I’m currently 39 weeks and a few days ago I got discharged from hospital. I get admitted for a nasty chest infection. Had an appointment with emergency out of hours doctor and she referred me to A&E because my oxygen levels were a little low and it worried her. The staff at A&E were great and reassuring, checked me over and were satisfied with my blood tests, gave me some antibiotics and suggested taking it easy. However, before letting me go they wanted someone from the maternity team to check the babies heart rate to be on the safe side. This meant I needed to stay overnight and they decided to transfer me to the maternity ward. After being hooked up to the machine for an hour they said baby’s heart rate was a little high but nothing to worry about, they’d check again in the morning. Anyway I was still there at 5pm the following evening as the consultant had had a busy day on the Labour ward. The midwife was great and said she just needed him to review and I could be discharged. This is the creepy bit. The consultant turned up and straight away, with no conversation said he wanted to do an internal exam. I asked why and he said he thought I was in labour. I told him I clearly wasn’t in labour and was booked at a different hospital anyway so wouldn’t be staying, at this point even the midwife looked confused as she checked the chart from the machine and said everything was fine. At this point he went and got some gloves, pulled the curtain around me and requested I took off my bottoms so he could do an internal. I told him he wasn’t doing it and asked if the midwife could do it and he huffed and said yes, so she did it with what felt like some reluctance and confirmed I wasn’t in labour. Once she was finished she let me get dressed and the consultant had vanished and i was free to go home. It all just felt like he was trying to do an unnecessary intimate exam and has really made me suspicious, I really can’t see any medical reason and he couldn’t give me one. I’ve spoken to my husband and a friend and they both said it’s a bit creepy. Sorry for the long post.

I think it's more poor service delivery than pervert wanting to get his rocks off op. Of course he should have explained to you, sounds like he was rushed off his feet and forgot you're an actual human

Not sure what was wrong here. He wanted to do an internal exam before discharging you to confirm you weren't in labour. Midwives and A&E staff can't sign off on your condition before discharging you - they're not the specialist. If something hadn't been picked up by your midwife or A&E, you were discharged home and faced problems - you'd blame the Consultant for not doing his job and examining you.

His bedside manner may have been curt but your midwife was present - do you really think he'd molest you in front of her....? You can write the letter of course but the hospital will just tell you he followed the right protocol that was even confirmed to you by A&E.

I agree. A decent bedside manner doesn’t cost the NHS anything. He should have at least introduced himself, said why he needed to do an internal, and asked permission. It would have taken one minute of his time. Concepts like consent and keeping the patient informed often go out the window when women are pregnant or in labour. Some of them treat us like cattle or inanimate objects. And some of them seem to have no idea why we’re not happy with a complete stranger sticking their fingers in our vaginas without so much as a polite “is that ok with you Mrs Jones?”.

This abrupt treatment is common in the NHS now. It’s as if we’re meant to be so grateful for the treatment, we shouldn’t expect to be treated like human beings.

I don’t think this consultant was creepy. But I think he was rude, should have asked your consent instead of barking orders, and should not have huffed when you asked for the midwife to do it instead. Stress / overwork is no excuse. If you’re stressed, treating patients like dirt isn’t going to make your day any better. Being kind to them and getting positive responses in return just might.

I'll get shot down for this but I don't like getting treated by male obstetricians full stop. I've only come across two in this pregnancy (I'm high risk and have been in hospital a lot), and one was over the phone; with the other, I insisted a HCA was there throughout the consultation, and when he suggested to do an internal exam I insisted on holding the speculum myself so he only peered rather than touched.

I didn't know this until this pregnancy, but it's possible to request to hold the speculum yourself and I way way prefer this. It's on my notes now.

Creepy? No. He most likely didn’t want to discharge before making the necessary checks. If you had been leaking fluid or something and anything happened it would be his neck on the line.

Rude? Yes, poor bedside manner perhaps but I’d let it go. He really didn’t do anything wrong.

These kind of complaints are exactly why there are such a shortage of doctors, nurses, teachers etc. Everyone always has to be worrying about covering their back because someone is too ready to complain about them just trying to do their job. Jesus OP you're due a baby any day, just move on.

I can't believe some of the responses on this thread. You have met this consultant and his behaviour concerned you. You have every right to complain about this. He probably had a good reason to request the internal but honestly his communication sounds appalling and he should have explained his reasoning clearly to you at the time. Short staffing/stress is no excuse and it's clearly made you worried/uncomfortable. People saying 'it's one more thing for the NHS to deal with' - there are people who's literal job is to investigate and deal with complaints? It's just another day in the office to them. Definitely raise it OP.

That's completely inappropriate. There was zero reason for an internal exam and you need to consent. You are perfectly within your rights to decline. Even during labour you need to consent and are perfectly entitled to decline!!
I would personally consider reporting this incident.

Extremely naive reply. As more and more people complain about non-events, more funds get repurposed to the complaints/legal department to employ people who sit in offices pushing paper. So next time you're waiting 5+ hours in A&E misery, remember that this is contributing to understaffing of actual clinical staff.

At no point was the OP examined without consent. She consented to the midwife's examination, just as she did not consent to the consultant's. A bit bizarre that a bunch of lay people here are telling a consultant obstetrician with years of experience what is and isn't necessary when it comes to an examination.

At most he was rude and didn't have a good beside manner. But, he had a long, probably very stressful day. You're making mountain out of a molehill.

I'm going against the grain to say that as a midwife I agree with you OP.