Will he come around to this pregnancy?

[megxa]

So, to start,
iv known my partner for over 9 years but we have only been together for jusy over a year.
we have 3 children between us from previous relationships.
may the beginning I was pregnant which resulted in an abortion that we both decided on, not something I was overly happy with but I did, this iv never gotten over it stoll haunts me.
fast foreward to now, we decided to start trying for a baby, in the midst of this we had a row and he decided he wanted to wait a year or two we agreed to this.. I then found out I was pregnant a couple of days later, before finding out we agreed if we were successful in trying we would just essentially get on with it.
it’s been a rollercoaster since, at first he insisted he didn’t want this, then his mind changed and he said ok let’s do this, now his mind has changed again.
he gave me the choice of him or the baby and that it’s not something he wants right now but if I abort we will try again in a year (I don’t agree), his reasons are that he’s not ready right now, it’s not on his priority list right now.
he has told me “I won’t leave you I want us to be together but I don’t want this baby” but then is telling me he will leave if it’s his only choice, iv told him he can stay and support me or he can go his reply is that he doesn’t know..
he thinks I’m being selfish and I’m taking his choices away and I just don’t know what to even say or do.

im hoping with all my heart he will come around to this but I’m not sure what to do in the meantime.
He said he wants to carry on as normal for now but he just wants to push it aside iv said he’s welcome to attend appointments and scans but he said he doesn’t know..
I really don’t know what to hope for or what to say or do
Hoping for some positive experiences.
I spoken to my family and his who have all said he will come around but I’m not so sure
Might I add he’s still living in the house with me we only found out a week ago.
In one or two of many conversations he has said he would love the baby and me but it’s not what he wants right now

I know I can do this alone I just would rather not

Your not listening or reading the signals everything screams he doesn’t want anymore kids and seems like he was just making the right noises to placate you

Tell him to fuck off. He's totally flakey and unreliable. He's already pushed you into one abortion. Then when you agree to ttc (IMHO far too early in the relationship and with the existing children), he pulls the plug and then decides he doesn't want this when you find out you're pregnant - having been trying?!!

He's messing with your head. He's either in or he's out. Now.

Maybe he should have put a condom on.

This man doesn’t want any more kids and he’s telling you. He’s keeping you sweet by saying he does as he knows you do but he’s moving the goalposts. He didn’t even want his own kid and I can bet he’s the one that pushed you to get an abortion. Keep the baby and boot him out. You and your kids deserve better

I appreciate everyone’s comments, some are coming across pretty patronising.
we have been in an official relationship for just over a year, wasn’t official for a couple of months before that,
i ageee he’s a prick the way he’s gone about absaluteky everything and I think he’s just selfish I’m seeing that more day by day.
my kids are fine, if I had any concern I would not have moved at the pace I did, but I do agree he’s just confusing and he’s unfair to everyone he only thinks about himself.

my kids are fine, if I had any concern I would not have moved at the pace I did

What age are your children? You say they adore him - what does that mean?

I stood my ground, we went on a weekend away that was planned already, during this weekend away he stated he knows the right thing to do and that’s to support me, not even 12 hours later he changed his mind, I asked him to leave he’s taken his things and gone back to his mums yesterday.
I am feeling lost and I am upset but it’s right that no one should ever have to feel this way or be treated this way he’s either in or out.
he’s still telling me I want you but I’m not ready for a baby right now.
a man who already has a child.
im lost for words and I give up with him, he can make his choice there’s nothing more I can do.

How did this pan out for you. I’m in the same boat x

I’m currently pregnant with my partners baby. We’ve been together 18 months. Very happy, a very perfect relationship. I’m 31 with no children. Travelled the world been a very free willed spirit. Lost my dad two years ago. So I’ve experienced such highs and such lows.
my partner has one teen child already. He said he d support me no matter what my choice but isn’t happy with the idea as he’s not happy with how the world is.

im just reaching out for support that this will all be ok

Just wanted to send you love and hugs 💐

I hope you had a decent Christmas.

This man is a loser, boot him to touch if you haven't already. And I'm sorry but a year is way too soon to commit in that way, as you have discovered to your cost. He doesn't deserve you. Hope you are ok x

Let him fuck off with how the world is now - that's just an excuse. The world has always been a shit place, didn't stop humans reproducing.

You do whatever you want to do. He's showing his true colours. Think very carefully because if you have the baby you will always have a tie to him. Having said that, do not have a termination if you don't want one, because I think that would be a horrendous burden to carry.

You are probably well capable of doing it on your own if you have to.

Tough on him whether he's happy or not. He knew the risks when he had sex with you. Hope it all works ok for you x

Sounds so messed up. Looks like he's got cold feet and completely freaking out about this change in his life. I'd just be prepared independently. Mentally prep yourself. I'd give him some time to process it and make a solid decision as to whether he's staying or leaving but he can't keep on changing his mind and messing with your feelings like this.