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Original poster

Christmas Parties (Alcohol In Social Situations Early Pregnancy)

32 replies

Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:02

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and haven't shared the news yet (not until I have my first scan beyond 12 weeks) I'm anxious about the upcoming all-staff party, as my team tends to pressure me to drink. How can I navigate this without drawing too much attention? Also, for my department's Christmas party, which includes golf and cocktails, how can I avoid drinking without making it obvious that I'm pregnant? I'm considering saying I have a urine infection and am on antibiotics, but I don't want to lie. Any advice on handling this situation early in pregnancy?

OP posts:
SiennaMillar · 06/12/2023 20:06

You sure anyone will notice? Order a tonic water and if they ask say it’s a G&T. Congrats on your pregnancy

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:09

Great tip, that will definitely be my order! Thank you

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 06/12/2023 20:10

The infection and antibiotics one is a give away!

Personally would go for I'm driving (if you drive)
Or I've given up alcohol (if asked why) say because it wasn't doing me any favours....not really a lie it won't be given your pregnant
That your on a diet and alcohol is empty calories and you prefer the pudding instead!

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:12

Good to know the antibiotics sounds far too obvious! Love the calories one, that most definitely isn’t a lie I would much rather a pudding than alcohol. Thank you for your response.

OP posts:
trunkler · 06/12/2023 20:15

Or say you are taking something like amitriptyline which is used as a migraine prevenative, Dh found that if he drank it would make him sleepy and is one of the listed side effects, far more convincing to say that than antibiotics.

And congratulations Flowers

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:20

Thank you so much 😊 I can't even pronounce that word, which is a clear sign I shouldn't mention it haha. It's strange how providing more information can make it seem like you're lying and invites more questions from colleagues.

OP posts:
Amyjones86 · 06/12/2023 20:21

I had a works drinks and meal when I was 9 weeks pregnant. I took the cocktail and pretended to drink it. I then poured some into the plant pot every now and then until we had to leave to go to dinner when I still had some left and just left it. With dinner, I had a small glass of red wine and took a couple of sips at the start and then left it. Everyone was drunk and didn’t notice that I hadn’t drunk.

I suffered with recurring miscarriages so I really didn’t want to tell work early. Any of the excuses they would have realised, so this was the best way for me. All the best @Parenting92 early pregnancy is so tough.

Loopytiles · 06/12/2023 20:24

I was like the PP and except where could order tonic and pretend it had gin it ordered and pretended to drink alcohol.

all lies will be seen through, which is fine if people are polite and say nothing, but too many people are not polite!

GreatGateauxsby · 06/12/2023 20:27

Honestly don’t bother with all these elaborate explanations.

someone buys in first round you get a a virgin cocktail and feign ignorance about the lack of alcohol
OR order a gin and tonic or whatever…have a sip then 5 mins later pop to the bathroom and get a tonic water in same glass and off you go.

at dinner take a small glass of wine as you don’t fancy mixing. Maybe take a small sip

honestly after the first drink no one notices what you are doing.
the whole lengthy attention drawing explanation is just not needed.

thedamnseason · 06/12/2023 20:28

trunkler · 06/12/2023 20:15

Or say you are taking something like amitriptyline which is used as a migraine prevenative, Dh found that if he drank it would make him sleepy and is one of the listed side effects, far more convincing to say that than antibiotics.

And congratulations Flowers

Far too elaborate and rehearsed. Every

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:28

I might order a real drink initially and discreetly dispose of it later during the larger gathering. However, for the smaller gathering with only six of us, where the golf package includes two free cocktails, it's challenging to figure out how to handle not drinking without drawing attention.

OP posts:
thedamnseason · 06/12/2023 20:29

Sorry...
Everyone will know by starters she is pregnant with that excuse.

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:30

Yeah sometimes the more you explain the worse it is and just brings so much more attention. might order a real drink initially and discreetly dispose of it later during the larger gathering. However, for the smaller gathering with only six of us, where the golf package includes two free cocktails, it's challenging to figure out how to handle not drinking without drawing attention.

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 06/12/2023 20:32

either be the one to go to the bar and order a mocktail, or order an alcoholic cocktail and just take a few sips. People won’t notice and if they do just say you didn’t like it.

trunkler · 06/12/2023 20:33

Just say you are on high blood pressure meds so you cannot drink with the meds. It isn't too rehearsed it is just a fact of the medication. It is the reason Dh cannot drink and hasn't for years.

HedonistHuntress · 06/12/2023 20:34

Too hungover from the night before. Also you get to go home early with that.

Proseccoismyfriend · 06/12/2023 20:37

Is there a colleague you could confide in? One of mine told me ahead of our Christmas party and asked me to help, so I ordered her drinks along with others and it was tonic(pretend g&t), lemonade (pretend vodka), we had cocktail making too and I had a quiet word with the bartender and all of hers were alcohol free. No one noticed and she had a great time 😊

Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:39

Loopytiles · 06/12/2023 20:32

either be the one to go to the bar and order a mocktail, or order an alcoholic cocktail and just take a few sips. People won’t notice and if they do just say you didn’t like it.

Thank you for your response. Taking even a sip doesn't sit well with me during pregnancy, I would rather not for the sake of a social situation. It's challenging, and I'm contemplating whether to let them assume and not hide by simply saying I don't feel like having alcohol tonight. It's a touch decision.

OP posts:
Original poster
Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:43

Proseccoismyfriend · 06/12/2023 20:37

Is there a colleague you could confide in? One of mine told me ahead of our Christmas party and asked me to help, so I ordered her drinks along with others and it was tonic(pretend g&t), lemonade (pretend vodka), we had cocktail making too and I had a quiet word with the bartender and all of hers were alcohol free. No one noticed and she had a great time 😊

You're such a fantastic colleague, she's fortunate to have someone like you. It might sound harsh, but there's one girl in my team who tends to influence everyone to talk about each other. While there's one sweet girl, she's easily influenced and tends to favour with the manager. I worry she may not genuinely keep a secret, so it seems like I might have to handle it alone for the smaller golf gathering with the team.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 06/12/2023 20:48

I just always said I was driving. Round here there’s a real shortage of taxis since Covid (most drivers went off to deliver for Amazon or Tesco and never went back) and it’s even worse during the festive season, so I always just said “too much of a fuckabout getting home, decided to drive”.

If your team are that into pressuring people to drink I’d probably just bail on one or both and save yourself the headache to be honest.

IHeartBiscuits · 06/12/2023 20:55

Saying antibiotics is as good as saying pregnant.

I'd say at the first round "I'll start with a coke/fizzy water/orange juice thanks, pacing myself tonight!". Then just keep "pacing yourself" Smile Say you're "alternating" (nobody will really notice that you don't actually alternate the soft drinks with an alcoholic version).

IHeartBiscuits · 06/12/2023 20:56

You can also say you are driving first thing in the morning so can't overdo it.

HollowEgg · 06/12/2023 20:57

Drive, order a mixer with no alcohol or if you’re feeling fancy, sparkling elderflower in a champagne flute.

Honestly no one will notice if you don’t make a fuss.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 06/12/2023 20:59

Parenting92 · 06/12/2023 20:30

Yeah sometimes the more you explain the worse it is and just brings so much more attention. might order a real drink initially and discreetly dispose of it later during the larger gathering. However, for the smaller gathering with only six of us, where the golf package includes two free cocktails, it's challenging to figure out how to handle not drinking without drawing attention.

Can you drive there?

carddino · 06/12/2023 20:59

I agree the more fuss you make the more obvious it is.

Don't fancy a drink.

Don't drink.

Just a coke please.

Much easier.