Miscarriage & Chemical Pregnancy- Overwhelmed

[CJ3]

Hi
First time post although I’ve been on here for months. I’m just looking for advice or any pearls of windows for anyone who has experienced a miscarriage and then a chemical pregnancy. I MCd in September @ 6 weeks and have just experienced a chemical. I am so gutted and feel so helpless. I have been looking today about getting a randox health fertility test to make sure hormone levels etc are correct has anyone had one?
All people keep saying to me is atleast you can get pregnant which I totally understand is positive but I feel so anxious about this now as I just feel like a total failure. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since august, I’ve limited my caffeine, I’m trying to be relatively fit and healthy. I’m just wanting to do everything I possibly can to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I’m 34 so I knew pregnancy probably wouldn’t be a walk in the park but my confidence is now rock bottom
thanks for any advice in advance

@CJ3 Sorry to hear about both your MC and Chemical. Lots of us have been there. When I had my MC i was obsessively googling to see what I could do to improve things, Including doing testing etc. I did have a private progesterone test but tbh it just caused more stress as my level was super low - and i ended up pregnant right after that (even though they said i wasn't ovulating) so i'm not sure how much help some of those tests are!

If you aren't already I'd suggest a good prenatal, folic acid, co enzyme Q10 (ubiquitol) which is recommended for fertility/egg health, and potentially get your partner on some multivits too. I also started taking low dose asprin while TTC and continuously though pregnancy even though it wasn't something the midwifes would say I needed, I read a few studies about low does asprin for TTC with previous miscarriages that it can help. So i did that - just the ones you buy in the supermarket think in the UK they are 75mg size? 1 per day.

I'm 38 and currently 34 weeks pregnant.

I know it's not as simple for a lot of ladies and there can be underlying issues also but you've still got time. Also make sure you're letting the doctors know re previous MC/Chemical as they should be able to start doing some investigations for you if you wanted. I think the guidelines are down to 2 MC now and they will start to look into it (previously it was 3)

Thank you @suz2285 and congratulations on your pregnancy!
I’ve looked those supplements up and I think my prenatal just had folic acid and not q10 so I’ve ordered one with that and multivits for my husband.
Thats my concern with a test that it may show something up and then I’ll obsess over that when it may not be the actual issue. It’s hard not to obsess over everything at this point and I really want to stay as calm as I can for my health too but that’s clearly more difficult than I first thought it would be. I discussed with gp after my first mc as I have a underactive thyroid so I wanted to make sure that’s was ok which it was. Tbh at the moment I couldn’t even ring for an appointment but maybe in a few days I may feel better about that and in away trying to tell myself perhaps it was just a false positive on a cheap stick
thank you for your advice ❤️

@CJ3 underactive thyroid can also be an issue for sure so it's good to get that checked out as well 😀I think the horrible thing with a CP is knowing so early, back when tests weren't so sensitive we probably wouldn't have known about most CP's so it feels way worse when we know so early now.

we have a really good thread for us that are pregnant after MC if you feel like joining that in the future https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4909802-pregnancy-after-miscarriage-latest-support-thread?page=28&reply=131196898

Certainly a good idea to stay calm, and remember you do still have a lot of time on your hands, I know it doesn't feel like it but there's tons of us in later 30's early 40's just having our babies now, either due to life , or various issues!

Really sorry to hear what you're going through. I've been there, but now I have a robust 6 month old! I had a CP after 7 month TTC and then pregnant at 14 months TTC at 32/33 years old. Like the PP said, I'd avoid postal fertility tests, they made me even more anxious. If you do them, try to get the GP to order them to be done at a hospital. Even then, I had a progesterone test which suggested I might not be ovulating, but the fertility specialist didn't find progesterone tests very useful indicators of fertility in general.

Have you had any fertility testing by GP yet? You are eligible after 1 year trying under 35, 6 months when you reach 35.

The best advice I got from my GP was to "get out of the pregnancy waiting room." I was also trying to lose weight, limit alcohol and caffeine, which made me not enjoy socialising and I just wasn't a very happy person! I hate the whole "don't stress and it will happen", because how?! But I would advise you to try to find time to enjoy yourself. It has a lot of health benefits!

My husband had low sperm count and morphology, so it's also good for them to take vitamins, exercise, but also for them to try have some fun! We used preseed lubricant and had sex every other day between days 10 and 20 of my cycle (based on an average cycle). I hope it happens for you!

Just wanted to say thanks to @suz2285 and @pippabg Took an early test 3.5 weeks this time as had weird taste in my mouth on two mornings. If anything I just done it to prove to myself that it was nothing and got a bfp. Im hoping that it’s 3rd time lucky but just wanted to say that both of you replies helped to calm me somewhat. I’m offcourse now a nervous wreck again but big thank you! ❤️

Just to reiterate the previous posters, I had a miscarriage in July at 12 weeks, a chemical on the first month trying in August and am now 15 weeks pregnant after catching the month after. Congratulations on your bfp, sending lots of luck for a successful pregnancy!

You're welcome! So pleased to hear about your BFP!! Wonderful news! Any concerns try to ring the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital, if they only take referrals push GP to do it or go to A&E. I had spotting at 6 week and was so worried. It was the weekend, so GP was closed so went to A&E and they referred me to the EPU. They gave me a scan and could see heartbeat, which was so reassuring! I then pushed for progesterone as there is research that shows it can be helpful if you've had losses before. Not saying you need it and there's no proof that's what actually helped this pregnancy progress, but it's good to know about it if you need it! Tommy's have a really good information sheet about it.

Thank you @Agathapoirot
Thanks @pippabg I will do. I wasn’t seen to the day after I started bleeding for my first miscarriage and regret now not pushing to be seen. I actually requested my thyroid blood results today from after the miscarriage and whilst they were fine I noticed my progesterone was down at 3 and then spiralled into googling that. That being said it may have dropped anyway given timing after the miscarriage or obviously could have been just chromosomal issues. I wish they could just hook you up with tests from day 1 🫣🫠

I had similar to you. I had a MMC at 9 weeks last year just before Christmas, first month trying, then had a little gap in trying. Tried in the next July, had a chemical and had a bleed about 4 days after missed period and positive test.

Now almost 11 weeks with next pregnancy. It’s so hard, and some people will say “at least you know you can get pregnant”, which is sort of true but also devastating if they don’t stick- and still doesn’t help you actually achieve a baby.

I really jumped into lifestyle changes, and I started listening/watching this fertility doctor in the states called Dr Natalie Crawford. She has a YouTube channel,
and a podcast called ‘as a woman’ On Spotify.
I’m convinced her advice has helped me get this far!
good luck and congratulations ❤️

Thanks @HP89 and congratulations and good luck to you to 😊 have just followed dr Crawford on insta 👍