Pregnant with Third and Two Toddlers Already!

[ESwiff]

Hi all,

This is my first time posting, but I've always turned to Mumsnet for help on my pregnancy and parenting journey.

I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 and have a 2 and 1 year old already. I don't drive and we have recently moved house. Our house is now at the bottom of a huge hill, which is a task to walk up even without a double pushchair. I carry very heavy and very low and had a very problematic pregnancy with DS#2, ending in my waters breaking at 33 weeks and an EC at 34 weeks, so, ideally, I'm going to need lots of rest with this one.

I think this is going to mean we're going to be staying in all day everyday once I'm further along and I'm really worried this will have a negative impact on my sons. They have plenty of toys, love watching educational TV programmes and exploring the house, and my DH will be home over the weekends so we can go out then, but I'm petrified I'm going to stop them developing and am letting them down by keeping them in.

Can anyone offer any help or advice? I'm furiously Googling fun indoor play ideas, but a lot of them seem a bit Pinterest perfect and not everyday practical!

Thank you all in advance and I'm sorry for the long post!

Can’t you get a free nursery place for the two year old? Many local authorities have spaces for social requirements and I think your needs would fit that? Is public transport an option? Or even budgeting for an uber or similar once or twice a week somewhere and then walking home?
Do you have a garden?

OP I’ve a 3 & and 2 year old and am 3rd trimester pregnant. With my one year gap, getting the older one on a scooter was brilliant! Can you work on having them both scoot over the next few weeks? In big snowsuits even if they fall it should be fairly padded and it’s a game changer for not needing a buggy!

Think about how you carry stuff. Are both still in nappies? I used to have a compromise size in the bag - so nappies and a change of clothes that could go on either (jumper and two leggings). Really helped to reduce the “stuff” I needed to carry. Meant everything fitted in a backpack.

Are either still napping? (Both min had stopped by 18/22 months). Can you introduce quiet time so you get some rest in the middle of the day?

In terms of house based activities. Have you a garden? Could a trampoline, or stepping stones or any play stuff be set up? Mine love cooking, colouring, making forts (using the sofa and blankets), building (Magna tiles and Duplo). They’ll copy me doing TV workouts! And we stick on music and have dance parties! Hide and seek (of people and or things) is always a winner too.

Could you organize play dates and friends to visit you?

Can you try save money now so you have some funds for a few buses a week? Mine live buses so often a bus to a playground can occupy hours very happily. OR could you be organised in advance? How does your DH travel to work? Could he shift one am a week to drop you and the littles off at an activity? Swimming is often one we do v early. Works well as we can arrive in pj’s, swim, get dressed after and then spend time in the town.

But also just sending you hugs. I know having had difficult pregnancies that I found this one scary in the beginning and worried about how I’d cope. Hope it’s not too much of a worry for you x

Thinking outside of the box here, but is learning to drive should only take a few months. Is there any scope for you financially to get lessons in during the first trimester and getting your license before you are too far along. That way you could get the kids out if you wanted to without having to manage the hill.

Can you learn to drive? How much income is there to pay for cabs to places etc.

I would be calling on some family/friend support until your 2yr old can get some funded nursery hours. Even if friends/family can't help long term then they might be able to do a half day or 2 a week when you hit 3rd trimester so your boys don't miss out.
You have chosen a tricky path going for such short age gaps, it will be a really hard couple of years so you'll need some good support

If you have the funds, I would book in some driving lessons asap. You can definitely pass before third trimester if you do a couple hours of a weekend, and maybe a lesson of an evening, after DH gets home. Ask friends/family to watch the toddlers and get DH to give you a few extra lessons for practice! If you decide to do this, my tip would be to book your test ASAP because there can be a wait for those.

I started during my pregnancy, but tests in London were non-existent then thanks to Covid backlog, so I had to wait a long time. Had DD, then resumed lessons as soon as I could drive post c-sec, and passed first time when she was 5 months. Ironically, I hardly drive now. But I can, and it sometimes makes life a lot easier.

Also, again if you can afford it, look into childcare for a couple days per week. If a childminder/nursery could take both your toddlers for just one or two days, it will give you a breather and them much needed stimulation outside of the home. If possible, work it so that DH could do drop off and pick up in the car. I'd also get a cleaner, in a heartbeat, if I had your workload!!

Thank you for all of your responses!

With regards to driving lessons, I failed my theory test for the 8th time this week (I know...), so I'm really trying to get driving!!

My 2yo is starting nursery 1 day a week, but that's all we can currently afford. They are both still napping, 2yo can walk but 1yo can't yet, so we still need the buggy for him at least.

We didn't choose such short age gaps. Despite contraception, we have caught really easily and quickly, so we're aware it's going to be tough, which is why I'm reaching out for help and advice.

All of these suggestions are great, I'll see what I can try to work in with my two.

Thank you all.

I would suggest contacting your local Homestart they may be able to provide an afternoon of support which would for example enable you to do craft with the two year old whilst they play with one year old or whatever would suit or be helpful to you

@fourelementary We don't qualify. My DH earns too much for funded places, but not enough to afford to send him more!

A non driving friend with 3 kids has a cargo bike like this https://christianiabikesuk.com/the-models/families/

Electric so don't need to pedal as hard. Can fit baby car seat in plus two kids. But not cheap and need somewhere to store it. Cheaper than a car and driving lessons though!

@NoCloudsAllowed Oh my goodness, this looks amazing!! Thank you so much!!