Partner and strip clubs?

[Anonymousmuma]

Would it bother you if your partner went after a Christmas party?

My partner is having a Christmas party with a group of friends..it's likely they'll end up at a strip club as this always happens with this particular group...I don't want to seem unreasonable but it does make me feel jealous thinking if him ogling other women? I'm also nearly 7 months pregnant which doesn't really make a difference but still feel insecure about it.

My partner has been amazing throughout pregnancy, and is usually home by 10-11pm but tonight I'm at my mums with my son so I know it's going to be a big one for them.. My partner is also known by his friends for being a big fan of strip clubs and has taken girls home in the past... I completely trust him and know he wouldn't do anything or pay for a dance but for some reason I know it will be on my mind.. I don't want to be a controlling partner... I wasn't going to mention anything to him but I know I'll have to ask him the next morning if they went cos it's going to eat me up...

Would you be bothered or do you have any tips on how to just get over it so it doesn't bother you ? I'd rather just be cool about it but know that insecurities will probably get the best of me...

I guess you don’t really trust him is the issue?
i personally would want to know why he wants to look at other women instead of focusing on his pregnant partner
would he be fine if you went out specifically to look at and interact with attractive men?

Thankyou for your reply.. No.. I guess no one loves the idea of their partner in a strip club... I do trust him but just don't like the idea of him getting turned on by a girl dancing infront of him - I guess that kind of feels like cheating?? I don't mind if he watches porn so not sure why that would bother me...

I would not want to be with a man who goes to strip clubs simply because I do not like the objectification of women.

I would have no issue with DH very occasionally going into one, at a stag or something. But I know it's not his scene.

If he was a known big fan of strip clubs and had taken strippers home I'm not sure I'd be with him. That gives me the ick.

Have you told him how you feel?

I'd be grossed out by DH going to a seedy strip club. Would not allow it.

Total deal-breaker for me, it's cheating and I wouldn't tolerate it.

You've known what he's like for a while now. He may think he's got your tacit approval? And you are okay with him watching porn? Personally I'd be setting boundaries around all this. He's not someone I'd want to be living with. I'm sorry I'm not being reassuring here.

I would not approve of my husband going to strip clubs. Luckily, my husband thinks they are as disgusting as I do. I have a very dim view of any man who likes going to strip clubs.

Would be an absolute no to me. But even more so because...

1/ he has a history
2/ he frequently goes (why...!)
3/ he has a reputation with his mates (this would feel like a disrespect)
4/ MAINLY - because you are pregnant and feeling uncomfortable about it

Have you told him? If not tell him now and that should be enough for him to not go!

I think it's gross, and for me it doesn't come from a place of insecurity, I just think there is something icky and pathetic about grown men treating women as entertainment and paying to ogle them. Yuck.

It's so interesting to hear other people's opinions, thank you! I agree it's pretty gross for middle aged men to often go to strip clubs as a regular thing - maybe like a one of thing for a 40th or something but it's very seedy...

We have spoken about it and he told me doesn't really watch porn anymore or go to strips clubs but unfortunately that group of friends will go occasionally for birthdays etc.

I told him how I feel and he's reassured me he won't go so feeling much better.

Thankyou for the advice and input everyone. It really helps so much.