2nd pregnancy - PTSD

[maenov20]

This might be a lengthy one so bear with me 🙈

I had my DD exactly 3 years ago tomorrow, (during covid) and I've found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant with baby number 2! I am really happy, but I'm terrified.

The labour with my first was traumatic. I was in labour for over 3 days, DD was back to back the entire time, I had to be put on the induction IV as I wasn't dilating despite how severe the contractions were, they then broke my water to which I blacked out and then needed an epidural. The epidural didn't work very well, and then by the time I was finally dilated DD's heart rate rapidly slowed so had to have an episiotomy.

Recovery was then 6-8 weeks of barely being able to walk, and terrified of every time I needed to go to the toilet as it felt like I was passing glass for at least a month.

I had nightmares of my experience almost daily for 6 months, and it's only the past couple months I've finally felt like myself again. And now I'm pregnant...

I'm absolutely terrified of the day I have to have this baby, and having to decide between natural and c section is beyond stressful because it's trying to choose which type of hell to go through.

Thanks for reading this far and bearing with me 😂 I am so so excited to meet this baby, and so excited for my DD to become a big sister, but I really need some advice on how to overcome this fear and what other people's experiences have been with natural/c section after a traumatic first labour.

I haven't had a traumatic labour, but I have had an elective section. I absolutely loved it, the recovery was easy and I would do it all again any day.

My friend has just had her second baby, second difficult labour and second double episiotomy and wishes she opted for an elective section!

I had a severe placental abruption with my first which was extremely traumatic, came so close to losing my lovely boy and resulted in a crash C-section under GA. All of the traumatic bit was the pain/bleeding/terror before the c-section and actually the section itself was absolutely fine. Recovery really wasn't that bad, a bit sore for the first week but by the next morning I was up and in the shower and was out for decent walks by a week after.

Initially struggled with PTSD and said I would never get pregnant again but with time (DS is now 2) decided I could face it again and currently 32weeks pregnant with DD. Just been given a date for a planned C-section at 39+1 and feeling surprisingly ok and not too anxious.

It's a personal decision and not everyone would want the same but for me I needed to have an exact plan in place of what's going to happen so that I can mentally prepare myself. Having a C-section means I know exactly when DD will arrive and I don't have to be afraid of the unknown or of getting to my due date (all of the drama with DS happened on his due date).

Is there a perinatal mental health service near you? Or a Talking Therapies service? CBT or EMDR can help with the PTSD.
I found finding a sympathetic midwife to talk through what happened in my first delivery very helpful. It helped me make an informed choice about what was better for my second pregnancy.

I have asked for an elective c section for no other reason other than I want to control as much as I can when it comes to the birth.

It's made me feel so much more relaxed about the impending birth.

If it's something you would consider it might be worth asking for one too?

I had a traumatic first with episiotomy and tear forceps delivery in theatre with a plan to revert to c section as baby was getting distressed and then had quite a bad bleed. To be fair a few days after baby had jaundice and was really unwell so was back in hospital and I don't think I thought about how I was as worried about him. Second baby soooo much easier, 1 stitch and no bleed but because of what happened the first time they prepared me with a cannula in incase I had another bleed and close obs but he came out much easier and I felt sooo much better after so definitely can be easier second time round