Newbie here, with the holidays approaching I find myself feeling ___ (I don't know, I can't describe it). My husband and I decided to try for a baby. I had an IUD in for 11 years (supposed to be 10) had it taken out late July. We got a positive pregnancy test the 21st of September. Spotting for 3 days shortly after, so we went to my OB, everything looked fine except my timeline. I've never had a regular period and according to my math I measured at 4 weeks. The ultrasound showed me at 3 weeks. My hormones were JUST at the normal range. OB took a blood test, and I started taking progesterone. Saw the OB the following week, the sac and fetal pole were present, my hormones were not doubling, but growing. The next week (knowing I'm 5 weeks) the baby didn't show any growth. OB recommended a D&C, but we wanted to seek a 2nd opinion...I started lightly bleeding that night, however; I hate to say this, but we wanted to "get it over with" and begin healing. I ended up taking that medication so I can pass the baby at home. It was awful, painful, the worst ever. The word to describe how I felt was empty. We were devastated. My husband and family were amazing and very supportive. We even have a special spot in our backyard for the baby. We took some time to grieve and started trying again once I felt and was physically better. This brings us to November. I felt nauseous on the 22nd, took a pregnancy test and got the faintest of faint lines, but on Thanksgiving I got my period. That faint line must have been HCG left over. My body has never been "regular", and I never knew when I ovulated. I got a pregnancy app to help with tracking ovulation. I am still hopeful, but handling all these emotions, and feelings I've had before...it's exhausting and I wish I could just relax, but it's rough. Can anyone relate? Any words of encouragement?