Am I an awful person or is this hormones?

[Amyw367]

I’m very early pregnant and struggling with my emotions..

I posted something earlier on Reddit and talked about how I’m not feeling excited about the baby and struggling with fear of the future etc..I have some health issues and was worried about having a new born and also how I struggle with change

I was hoping this was hormones but someone replied that I should go to a family clinic and discuss my options if I didn’t want a baby and also be referred to the mental health team..

What I thought was natural fears that a lot of women have has reaffirmed my anxious beliefs that I will be a terrible mother and potentially shouldn’t even have the baby.

Sorry for the rant I’m just beside myself crying now and have no one to talk to as everyone around me is just super excited

It's hormones and perfectly natural to worry about your future, the child's future etc. I would ask to be transferred to maternal mental health teams if these feelings continue. The 1st trimester I'd awful for hormones, they are doubling by the day so you will have lots of different thoughts- your relationship, your family, your job, friends etc. All I can advise is talk, talk and talk some more. To someone you trust who won't judge you.

Take care of yourself 1st and foremost it's a long 9 months ❤️

It's hormonal, absolutely normal and the sudden shock of how life is going to change.

I have been planning and waiting on treatment for over 5 years (delays with COVID due to my age and prioritising older), finally got started last year, 3 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF and 2nd worked, I give you this background to explain how very much it was wanted and my living revolved around it but honestly when I saw that positive I was just filled when regret and dread, could barely move from bed or sofa for 2 days. I'm now 9 weeks and 4 days and it feels more okay, defo the odd day when it's overwhelming but the hormones are defo playing havoc!

Be kind to yourself, write your thoughts down to get them out of your head but do also speak with a professional if you feel you need it, you'd be surprised how often they hear it.

I put a post on an IVF forum when I felt how I did expecting to be bombarded with hate but just feeling at utter dispare and soooo many people said they could relate

Thank you that’s really good to hear..congratulations by the way :)

I was just shocked when someone suggested I went to a family clinic to discuss my “options” if I didn’t want the baby. It made me think that what I was feeling was abnormal and that terrified me more.

All the best with your pregnancy ♥️

Hey. I posted a very similar thread the other day!
I am feeling very similar to how you describe.
feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to 😊