Partners fantasies other women??

[Anonymousmuma]

Random post but my partner and I were watching tv today and kinks came up in the program. I asked him if he had any and he said no but he does have fantasies.... but then refused to tell me what they are

I know this sounds pathetic but I'm totally freaked out. I know he's very sexual but I'm 6 months pregnant and feeling pretty rubbish about my body at the moment as I've put on weight and can't work out like I used to and now have cellulite.

I looked online and it seems the most common thing for men to fantasise about other women. The problem is that I only fantasise about my partner and the thought of him thinking about other women is freaking me out and making me feel so insecure. We've only been together 2 years but since he told me I can't stop thinking about it and feel really upset but just trying to ignore it as I know I should be more resilient....

I think it’s weird to only fantasise about your partner. In fact I literally never have. We’re all different

I rarely fantasise about dh. It's mainly Celebs or a stranger who fancies me!!

Well, you feel what you feel. You've asked him for information, he's given you one piece of info, and you've built a castle of horrors in your head.

You don't know what he fantasises about. You're torturing yourself for no reason.

I don't think it's unusual to fantasise about other people - I do it constantly - but I know it has zero to do with the person I'm with. Zero. It's just a spice to my life.

What would help you build your self esteem? How about telling him about your fantasies? He'll probably react well and maybe that will help you realise that he is with you, he fancies you.

Hormones are a trip aren't they

You're really letting this run away with you. Don't ask him that stuff if you've got all these insecurities. There's no right answer and even without an answer you're looking up random internet stuff to worry about. You can't control what's in his head. Fantasies are private for a reason. Don't try to police his or put yourself in some pious place because you only think about him. You're free to think about whoever as long as no one's cheating on anyone. Forget about it and focus on building your self esteem so it doesn't rely on him.

This is definitely the hormones getting the better of you.

It's unreasonable to expect a partner of any gender to not fantasise about other people, it's completely healthy and means nothing about your relationship.

You brought the subject up, he answered and didn't even tell you the fantasy you've just jumped to conclusions and become insecure over those conclusions.

Nothing to be insecure about here, fantasies are perfectly healthy and normal and he has every right to keep them private, he might be embarrassed about them or know that you're hormonal and not want to make you feel bad.

Even if he is fantasising about others, he still loves you and your body. You're growing his child, just because you don't feel sexy doesn't mean he doesn't think you are.

Nooo he made it clear he doesn't want to talk about them so I wouldn't ask again and totally agree he shouldn't have to... and I think you're right about the hormones...

I honestly have never thought about another guy when with my partner so guess I thought maybe it means there's something missing in the relationship... but I guess not?

Thankyou for all of your thoughts though - so helpful to get a different perspective xx

When in relationships I fantasise about all sorts. Everyone does. I've never cheated, never wanted to cheat, and never wished I was with those people as opposed to my partner (other than when I was in an abusive relationship and I'd have taken anyone over him!). It's normal OP. But also normal to be feeling insecure when you're pregnant (congratulations).

Thankyou Fantasia99 xx

My DP soon to be DH is the most wonderful man I've ever met, kind, funny, gorgeous and just all round brilliant. However have I had a few inappropriate dreams/fantasies about Pedro Pascal? Absolutely! Means absolutely nothing OP (I mean that with kindness)