Pregnant with 2nd - what do you wish you knew?

[DidYeAye22]

Just found out I’m pregnant, really early days, like 1-2 weeks. However I already have a 15 month old. When the baby is born, there will be 2 years between them.

Anyone done it before and have any tips or things they wish they knew? Particularly this age gap.

Also, will I definitely need a double buggy? Will a 2 year old still rely on the buggy? My baby doesn’t walk at the moment. Thanks, a bit clueless here!

Congratulations! I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my second too, my youngest is 2.5 currently and still very much relies on a pushchair! If I had a baby now I would definitely have a double buggy!

Definitely get a double buggy! I thought we could manage but my eldest isn’t able to walk far yet (she’s 2) and it’s been great.

i think what I wish someone had told me was it’s absolutely ok to not feel that all consuming love for 2 that you did for 1. So many people told me that my ‘heart would just double’ and it didn’t, and I felt really ashamed of that for a while. It was definitely more of a slow burn love with DD2 than the fireworks with DD1. I love them both equally and am so in love with DD2 now but I felt so guilty and took myself off to the doctor and he confirmed he had felt the same and it’s completely normal.

it’s a lovely age gap, mine are 20 months and it’s hard but they adore each other and it’s lovely to see that!

My advice, and i mean it kindly, is that it's very soon to be thinking about buggies. Just look after yourself, enjoy your little one and take a few weeks to breathe and sleep or whatever relaxes you. You’ve got plenty of time to work out details.

I have two sons with a 2 year age gap. My youngest just 12 weeks today!

Some things come as a nice surprise...like how quickly you can adapt, and get into the swing of feeding (bf for me, was incredibly difficult first time round) and having octopus arms and multi tasking and sharing your love between two beautiful children.

The moments when your first born starts accepting the new addition and gives them little kisses and strokes and hugs....your heart will explode.

It's ok to find it really hard. And not enjoy maternity leave all that much. I'm struggling with this, lots of people thinking I'm off swanning about living the life of Riley and it's quite the opposite. I find it helpful to just be honest with people.

Accept all the help that is offered!!!

Another tip that helps me personally is trying to get a shower/dressed/makeup for the day done before the two boys are up. This means getting up a bit earlier (precious sleep I know) and will only work when you kind of have a semi-predictable wake up time for baby (it does eventually come) But I just find it gives me a huuuge head start for the day. I don't need to worry about trying to get ready in between giving one breakfast and bf the youngest or whatever. You can just run out the door once the kids are sorted.

On that note - get out and about! Staying in might drive you mad. But again that's personal preference.

Meeting other mums with multiple children/similar aged really helps too.

Out n about double is amazing - just got one 2nd hand and no your 2 yo will not walk lol

Invest in a good baby carrier/sling if you havnt already got. Ergo baby 360 is great! Very comfortable!

Lastly enjoy it!! Suck in all that beautiful newborn stage of velvety heads and beautiful baby cuddles.

Thanks everyone, really helpful. Just getting my head round it all - one thing I’m struggling with is the thought of putting baby 1 to bed and then not having that breather of the evening and sleep before tackling it all again in the morning. Did you make it so bedtime was the same time for both babies? I guess when they’re really little you can’t really institute any sort of schedule?

“No your 2 year old will not walk lol” made me laugh. Defo optimistic…

For the first few weeks yea your newborn will be up late/going to bed at the same time as you, so for us it was around 9:30/10pm...up until about 7 weeks I could no longer bare the witching hour(s) that we unfortunately suffered.

So rather than try and settle a screaming baby from like 7-10pm..we moved bedtime to a far earlier time (7pm bath, milk 7:30 usually asleep by 8 or so give or take) because part of witching hour is overstimulation/overtiredness and (and I'll get absolutely slated for this) put him upstairs in the next to me crib with baby monitor over it watching.

So basically both boys in bed asleep from (youngest 6:30pm - dream child) early...thus you get your breather at night back woohoo!!

So it can be done. But in saying all that, we have stinkers of evenings trying to get youngest over to sleep. All that rocking/shushing business.

I am in the same boat. 6weeks with toddler who just turned 2.
We have no family or friends to help. So really dreading first 6 months. LO had silent reflux and cried for hours and I barely survived. Just praying baby will be chilled out with no SR.

Oh friend that sounds rough, sending love. Fingers crossed for no silent reflux! X

Ah okay, will defo try this! God you’ve just reminded me about the baby monitor situation. Did you have 2, or did you just take one out of the 2YO’s room?!