Vaccination

[househunting123]

My sister in law is a very vocal anti vaxxer and her four and two year old girls are not vaccinated.

My baby will be their first cousin so I'm sure they'll be very excited to meet and play with the baby when it arrives.

I was wondering about others' thoughts of risk to my baby being around the girls when it is so young and not had any jabs yet? I had a quick Google expecting the results would tell me to stop being silly but actually most things say to be wary of risk, so now I don't know what to think!

I don't want to be dramatic and not let the girls meet the baby but I also don't want to brush any risk under the carpet to avoid awkward conversations.

Ungh, this is a tricky one. If they're at school or nursery it's likely that they'll be exposed to at least a few nasty diseases. We had chickenpox, rubella and scarlet fever pop up in DS1's first year at school. It's not totally unreasonable to think that they could be infectious at some point before your baby is immunised.

Thanks @Thankyouthankyoujellybean. I have an older daughter so I know some things will be picked up at school which are unavoidable (colds etc), but my daughter is fully vaccinated including against the flu and so I feel like the cousins are a completely different set of risks. But I know how huge an issue it will cause if I say anything! Her girls are so sweet and I don't want them to miss out at all but if there is an actual risk then I surely have to consider that.

I think I'm going to get my partner to broach the subject with his sister himself

Yes, that sounds like a plan, as long as he's up to the job! My MIL is a long-standing anti-vaxxer (before it was trendy!) and was HORRIFIED when I told her that DS1 had had his full set as a baby. She's much more accepting now and didn't question us when it came up that we had had covid jabs. Time is a great healer etc.

I'd be quite cautious of measles in particular, but as you say, your older kid will be exposed at nursery anyway. I personally wouldn't see a relative if they were anti vax anyway, problem solved.

Logically, you wouldn't expose your DC to those who you know to be unvaccinated until they had had their own jabs - at a minimum the full course of whooping cough, possibly up to first MMR (though residual maternal antibodies cover measles until eligible for the shot, and the other two are usually very mild in infancy)

You are correct that your elder DD, being vaccinated, does not pose the same risk.

You won't know the vaccination status of others you meet. But of course there's a difference between having to accept there is a level of unknown and deciding that contact with those known to be unvaccinated is OK.

Only you can decide what level of risk you are comfortable with. Once decided though, I suggest you stick with it.

I would wait till the baby was vaxxed myself. I think if people choose not to vaccinate they have to accept the consequences. There have been several warnings about measles outbreaks recently.

I agree with this. I wouldn't let my baby meet them until vaccinated.

How long are you thinking of waiting? I've always felt that the things that are a more likely risk are the ones where the vaccination is much later. There's more measles around (first vaccination at 1 year) than polio or diptheria (first vaccination at 8 weeks) for example.
Whooping cough you'll presumably have had the vaccine in pregnancy so there'll be some passive immunity until the 8 week vaccination.

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you by the way. Just wondering how long you're thinking. Until the 1 year jabs? Until the baby is old enough to have the flu vaccine? Until the pre-school jabs?
I personally wouldn't really feel better after the 8 week jabs, because those illnesses aren't the ones I'd be most worried about the baby catching, when both severity and likelihood are considered.

I'd be cautious about measles and polio, both have seen an uptick in recent years. Also TB is seeing big rises globally.

I feel bad for those unvaccinated kids. We're seeing such high rates of childhood illness because kids have been infected with COVID and therefore their immunity is weaker (lockdown has nothing to do with it). Not being vaccinated against common diseases is not going to help.

Kids don't meet their cousin until either baby is vaccinated or they are. Your SIL won't like it but I'd rather have a grumpy SIL than a very very sick baby. Your older child is vaccinated and doesn't pose the same risk.

If SIL isn't vaccinated she wouldn't be coming round either!

Well, that's the question I suppose. It's early days in my pregnancy and so I've only just started pondering on it. It sort of feels like if I don't draw a really firm logical line, there's going to be 'scope creep' (if I can use business talk here 😆) and ultimately it'll end up being half a job that doesn't really achieve anything.

I'll def be having the whooping cough jab while pregnant.

There's absolutely no chance of SIL vaccinating her children; she's a lost cause in that sense!!

They are such a close knit family though and I don't want to make things awkward. I was so keen for my older daughter to get to know the girls too so she doesn't feel left out when the baby arrives but now I'm feeling we'll be isolating ourselves from them all! I don't think there's an answer that everyone will be content with.

There are measles outbreaks just now - caused by falling vaccination rates.

I wouldn't expose an unvaccinated baby to people that I knew were unvaccinated.

Until your child is vaccinated, they shouldn't have contact with anyone who is not vaccinated.

Your sister is putting her own and other people's children at risk by choosing not to vaccinate, so I couldn't care less about whether she's mad about it or her feelings are hurt, personally. Protect your child and let SIL know that her children cannot interact with yours until they're vaccinated.

Argh - it's such an unnecessary complication when things should be lovely and exciting!