First trimester anxiety misery :(

[Fifi1101]

I’m 32 and expecting our very carefully planned first baby. It took us a little under a year but was stressful and exhausting. Our baby is via a donor at home (DH is infertile) This baby is SO wanted and loved but I cannot cope with my moods.

Im currently 8 weeks and I cannot describe how awful I feel. This pregnancy is high risk, I’ve got an under active thyroid, type 1 diabetes and I’m under a consultant every 2 weeks for checks.

I am so overwhelmed and stressed, tired and not focused. I can’t shake the anxiety of not knowing if my baby is okay. I want a scan every week because it’s torture. We had an early scan at 6 weeks and it was all perfectly fine but I cannot shake this dreadful feeling.

I’ll tell my midwife tomorrow but I don’t want to be medicated at all. I’m already taking a bunch of tablets, I’m hoping it’s hormones.

I want to feel grateful and happy not dark and miserable. It’s a daily struggle and I’m really not okay. Please tell me I’m not alone?

You are not alone. Unfortunately my severe anxiety lasted up until they lifted my baby over the drapes in my c section. My pregnancy was also very high risk and it didn’t help that it was my second so I kind of knew what was likely to happen (both of my children are totally healthy and fine, just worrying pregnancies).

The anxiety is deliberating and I really feel for you. I worried about everything - from the blood tests at twelve weeks, to scans, even to really mundane things like the sexing scan being wrong. I was sure something would go wrong and I’d lose our baby. It’s good that you’re calling it anxiety though as you can work on that. I too didn’t want to be medicated, but chat with your midwife as it might be right for you.

It’s still really fresh for me, my daughter is three weeks old, but from the second she was born relief has washed over me. My birth and recovery has been amazing too - actually perfect. It will get better 👍🏼

You’re not alone and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.

I myself am 8 weeks pregnant, 2 miscarried and this pregnancy was unplanned. Because of previous mental health my depression and anxiety has heightened and I’ve been having such negative thoughts around the pregnancy and if it’s something I should continue with.

My doctor and my midwife want me to start taking sertaline again (I had it around 6 months ago and stopped) but I don’t want to put it into my body in case I have a negative reaction to it due to my hormones.

I believe everything is heightened due to hormones, a lot of women have said when they hit their second trimester they feel so much better so fingers crossed for you lovely. It seems we aren’t alone with it.❤️

Definitely not alone. I'm 6w with my first and I keep having panic attacks. This baby was so sought after, we'd been trying for 2 years and had help for infertility and I think I am just so so anxious that it won't work and this is my only shot! I had a panic attack when talking to a colleague because I was so scared I would accidentally say something so they would know I was pregnant and Id jinx it or something. I've never struggled before but Ive read that the hormones can make anxiety symptoms worse so just make sure you look after and be kind to yourself, try to remember you won't feel like this forever xxx

Thank you so much for sharing. It’s nice to know you’re not alone, this is absolute torture and I don’t think I can ever do it again

Just wanted to thank you all and update that we saw our baby! 8+5 and doing really well. Anxiety is still really high but if you’re considering a private scan, just do it! Helps lots xxx

You’re not alone ❤️. I was a complete mess during my first pregnancy and swore I’d never do it again (I was wrong, his little brother is sleeping on me knee as we speak).

I remember my midwife telling me that once you’ve had a positive scan, the chances of you bringing a baby home at the end of your pregnancy are overwhelmingly positive. That helped me a little but it’s hard. You’re doing great.