Is this prenatal depression?

[ChaTom]

I’m 8+1 weeks pregnant and I’m not feeling happy at all. I feel guilty because I have a lovely partner who is very excited. His family are also excited too (and I know this baby will be very loved and there will be lots of support unlike with my older children) whereas my mum thinks the pregnancy is a terrible idea.

I’ve had a difficult few years (prior to meeting my partner). I have two disabled children (aged 9 and 7) who were left with no schools to attend for almost 2 years due to council failings. The tribunal process was long and stressful but they are now settled at a specialist school and doing really well. I was previously in a very abusive relationship and this is still going through the police process. I had to go for an ABE a few weeks ago. I’m on sertraline and had been quite stable on this until recent weeks.

I’m being sick from 2am every day. This goes on until around 6pm at night. It’s making my depression so much worse. I had sickness until the delivery with my previous pregnancies so I’m feeling like there is no end to this and it’s just too much for me to cope with. I’m struggling to keep my sertraline down. I don’t want to terminate solely for the sickness so I’ve been prescribed omeprazole and prochlorperazine to collect later today. One of my children has flu and I’m just feeling really sorry for us both. It feels like this baby will just make things worse for me and my children. I was really happy when I first got the positive result so I don’t know why I now feel so rubbish.

I’m also finding the cost of living situation a worry and struggling with the pressure of Christmas. Is this some sort of prenatal depression or is it normal to feel this way? I have mentioned it to the GP but he seemed uninterested. I have my booking appointment next week.

Dear ChaTom,

You sound like you are having a terrible time! It really sounds awful, from the long sickness period to the family and past situation. You have so much to deal with, and I am not surprised that you feel under a great deal of pressure and sadness, and anyone would in your situation. You sound like a strong person to deal with this much over the last few years.

For me the sickness alone is driving me insane, so much so that my partner calls me ‘grumpy’ for the last 7 weeks, and that is an understatement. I am no fun right now, and that is just with sickness, never mind the rest of what you are going through.

I really hope the anti-sickness tablets work for you, and that you start to get a little more strength back. Then the Sertraline tablets would stay down as well.

During my maternity booking with the midwife they ask about mental health, and she offered to refer me if you needed help. She also carried out the depression test to see how severe my symptoms were, which turned out that I was just grumpy and not depressed. You might be able to get better help and understanding from the midwife.

I really hope you get some help and feel better soon.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear how rough you have had it and your mum not being as supportive, cost of living is a massive concern when having a baby, all of these things on top of the general hormone/stress/worry etc about pregnancy is a heavy weight so please do speak with your midwife.

I've done IVF self funded to get to this stage, 9 weeks pregnant but defo have worries about cost of living and future finances and even though the baby is very much wanted for the first 2 days of finding out i was pregnant I was just in a state of absolute guilt and regret, hormones absolutely play havoc with our minds and then on top of that the physical symptoms. I have mild sickness and aversions but have never felt so out of connect with my own body that I have struggled.

Please know that these feelings case ease, sometimes for a few hours others for a few days. Hopefully things will ease as you go into the next trimester, I know that's the hope for myself