worried about having second

[walnut87]

Hi,

I’m due in April with my second. I had my first in Jan 2020, and most of my experience with her was formed by having to shield (health issues) during lockdown. I was genuinely terrified at the time and was on/off antidepressants and had CBT, pretty much constantly stuck at home for the entire of 2020. I don’t think emotionally I’ve recovered.

4 years on and I’m really struggling to shake the feeling that it’s going to be like this again. I feel scared and it’s putting a huge damper on everything, like I can’t look forward to the baby arriving or maternity leave.

Can someone please tell me what a normal maternity leave is like? Did you find it easy to get out of the house to baby groups and make friends? Help please. I need to know there’s something to look forward to.

thanks x

I promise it will be nothing like that this time! All the baby groups will be on, when the HV or midwife visits they won't be wearing masks, cafes will be open, friends and family will be allowed to visit... worlds apart OP

Just to say OP I totally know how you feel. Had first child in April 2020 (although not a shielder we did stick to the rules) and due with #2 next week. I remember it being so lonely the first time but I keep trying to tell myself what PP has said x

Thank you both for replying… Good luck with number two - I hope it goes well for you :) trying to make a list of things to calm my brain down. X

@walnut87 good luck to you to. Try listening to some hypnobirthing on YouTube x

Hello. I'm currently here feeding no 2
Had my first during lockdown and it was desperate. I also had bad PND. During my recent pregnancy my doc signed me off for a while my anxiety was so bad. Honestly this mat leave has been amazing. I've joined different groups and classes. Have coffee dates with myself or friends. Bascially doing everything i couldn't do the first time. You'll have a great time

I had my second during lockdown and it was such a different experience to my first.
My first i would be out and about with playgroups, farms, playdates etc.

The lockdown with my second was a lonely pregnancy and birth as similarly to you i had health anxiety and I restricted visitors due to anxieties. Mine hasn't fully gone although it has improved and i recently recognised and accepted i have a problem. i am due CBT as i am always in protection mode for my second and cannot get out of this mindset since having my child during peak covid times.

But we are out of all of this so you will be able to enjoy it, just mentally prepare yourself and if you need some additional help seek it before you have your baby! Good luck xx

I should get back into the hypnobirthing… it was helpful the first time but hadn’t thought about it for being worried about postnatal. Thank you @Tryingtoconceivenumber2 x

@Alasar thank you, that really helps to know. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a rough time, but very pleased it’s going better for you now - I wonder how many of us mums there are like this xx

@Cappuccino17 i think you are describing how I feel; any health concerns now and my brain goes into overdrive. It’s exhausting… I hope the CBT helps you :) I’ll have a chat with my midwife next time I see her xx