Page 2 | Midwife prediction 20 weeks off

Robinbuildsbears · 2023-11-17T20:31:46+00:00

This hasn't happened to me, but to my SIL instead. SIL has been feeling like she might be pregnant for a little while, but didn't stop getting her periods and has been on the pill so didn't take a pregnancy test until she started to get bigger in the belly. She got her initial midwife appointment 2 weeks after calling with a positive test, where the midwife felt her belly and decided that she couldn't feel her uterus, so wrote down an estimate of 7 weeks. SIL insisted on getting a scan earlier than 5 weeks away, so the midwife reluctantly agreed to give her an appointment a few days later (today). The scan confirmed that she is approximately 27 weeks along, literally 20 weeks further than the first midwife had said. Obviously a big shock for everyone in the family, and also for the staff at the hospital, if the first midwife hadn't written down in her notes 7 weeks they wouldn't have believed it. How does a trained professional midwife manage to get it so wrong? Is it really that difficult to tell, does this sort of thing happen often? Or was this midwife just completely incompetent? My feeling is that SIL should put in a complaint about her and that she clearly needs retraining or something, or am I being too harsh?

MrsMarzetti · 17/11/2023 21:43

Complain about what exactly ? There is are people with real complaints and i hope you SIL is never one of them.

gentlemum · 17/11/2023 21:46

So she called to say she had a positive pregnancy test and got an appointment two weeks later - that's great.
Midwife arranged for her to have a scan just a few days later - also great.
Midwife has nothing to go on other than your SIL's reports and date of last 'period' so using her best estimate she guessed 7 weeks.

You're being totally unreasonable here. A complaint would be pointless as it wouldn't go anywhere at all as the midwife did the best she could do with the situation and there was no negative outcome for your SIL as everything moved so quickly. The problem lies with your SIL thinking she was pregnant for months but not taking a test....

Cinty6 · 17/11/2023 21:52

I’m sure the reason the midwife missed it is the same reason as why your sister missed it…

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 17/11/2023 21:56

Your SIL missed it for 27 weeks but the midwife is getting the blame because she couldn't tell after having a little check? Have I got that wrong?

blaum · 17/11/2023 21:58

No there is no reason to make a complaint

Pinkelephant66 · 17/11/2023 22:01

Sunshineclouds11 · 17/11/2023 21:28

Agree.

No complaint needed.

I'm more thinking how the fuck didn't SIL know she was pregnant for this long.

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Agree agree agree. Why would you complain? People will literally moan about anything and everything these days.

Reugny · 17/11/2023 22:04

Your SIL is better going on "I didn't know I was pregnant" programs than complaining about the midwife.

Also she should have been taking pictures to show in future that she wasn't showing

Mumto32022 · 17/11/2023 22:05

it can be difficult if you don’t have all the information. If a woman has a raised BMI it can be particularly difficult to guess.
I had a woman (teen) once unsure how far she was I predicted 26 weeks with a tape measure it came back as 23 (so she could have a termination). There’s not an exact science to it. We can’t feel an abdomen and know exactly what gestation they are. Some babies are bigger. Some babies are smaller. Some women carry large (especially if not first pregnancy) etc.
ridiculous post. Your sister didn’t know how far she was yet the midwife is to blame …

Original poster

Robinbuildsbears · 17/11/2023 22:05

Okay so the consensus is that I am unreasonable for expecting a midwife to be able to vaguely tell what trimester a woman is in based on the feel and appearance of her abdomen.

I say she thought she might be pregnant, her only symptoms were needing to pee more often and one single instance of vomiting over the summer. It was more joking "oooh, you might be pregnant again" without really believing it, because most women would assume that if they're getting regular periods and taking contraception that they aren't in fact pregnant. It was only when she started to get a bump (she's usually very slender) that she took a test, and again, given that her periods hadn't changed at all, was pretty shocked by the positive. With her previous pregnancy, she had something (I forget what exactly) that meant that she never felt any kicks or movement in of herself, and this history was told to the midwife.

During those two weeks her bump suddenly grew very obvious, and any passerby could tell that she was pregnant. And a midwife should probably understand better than the average woman that periods can still happen regularly during pregnancy. Just very surprising to me how a professional wouldn't be able to have any idea at all how far along a woman is.

OP posts:

Mumto32022 · 17/11/2023 22:06

its impossible for ‘periods’ to happen during pregnancy. However bleeding can happen yes…

noaddedsugarx · 17/11/2023 22:07

This is hilarious 🤣 how can you call the midwife incompetent in this scenario when your own SIL didn’t know and it’s her body! You’re being ridiculous full stop!!

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 17/11/2023 22:08

You and your SIL didn't even know she was pregnant but expected someone else to know HOW pregnant by touching her stomach?

gentlemum · 17/11/2023 22:11

Robinbuildsbears · 17/11/2023 22:05

Okay so the consensus is that I am unreasonable for expecting a midwife to be able to vaguely tell what trimester a woman is in based on the feel and appearance of her abdomen.

I say she thought she might be pregnant, her only symptoms were needing to pee more often and one single instance of vomiting over the summer. It was more joking "oooh, you might be pregnant again" without really believing it, because most women would assume that if they're getting regular periods and taking contraception that they aren't in fact pregnant. It was only when she started to get a bump (she's usually very slender) that she took a test, and again, given that her periods hadn't changed at all, was pretty shocked by the positive. With her previous pregnancy, she had something (I forget what exactly) that meant that she never felt any kicks or movement in of herself, and this history was told to the midwife.

During those two weeks her bump suddenly grew very obvious, and any passerby could tell that she was pregnant. And a midwife should probably understand better than the average woman that periods can still happen regularly during pregnancy. Just very surprising to me how a professional wouldn't be able to have any idea at all how far along a woman is.

So you posted on the forum to ask if you should make a complaint. Literally everyone has said no and you're being unreasonable and you still think you're right? Perceived bump size doesn't necessarily correlate with how far along you are. I'm pregnant with my second and from four months along I looked (as my family keep telling me) like I was 8 months. The midwife arranged a scan super quickly which is the only reliable way of measuring and dating a baby. Honestly what more do you want?! She did everything she could.

Sunshineclouds11 · 17/11/2023 22:12

Just very surprising to me how a professional wouldn't be able to have any idea at all how far along a woman is

This is just abit crazy to me though.
How on earth can you tell how far someone is by seeing or touching their stomach?

The MW has obv went off SIL LMP with her still having them which is more normal than expecting her to know how far she is by touch.

Imperfectp3rf3ction · 17/11/2023 22:12

Not feeling the kicks in previous pregnancies....women can have tilted womb or frontal placenta which makes it a bit trickier to palputate. Also of she was looking for low gestation she make have been focused really low down towards the public bone and not upper abdomen. She's not at fault at all really

TeaKitten · 17/11/2023 22:17

Robinbuildsbears · 17/11/2023 22:05

Okay so the consensus is that I am unreasonable for expecting a midwife to be able to vaguely tell what trimester a woman is in based on the feel and appearance of her abdomen.

I say she thought she might be pregnant, her only symptoms were needing to pee more often and one single instance of vomiting over the summer. It was more joking "oooh, you might be pregnant again" without really believing it, because most women would assume that if they're getting regular periods and taking contraception that they aren't in fact pregnant. It was only when she started to get a bump (she's usually very slender) that she took a test, and again, given that her periods hadn't changed at all, was pretty shocked by the positive. With her previous pregnancy, she had something (I forget what exactly) that meant that she never felt any kicks or movement in of herself, and this history was told to the midwife.

During those two weeks her bump suddenly grew very obvious, and any passerby could tell that she was pregnant. And a midwife should probably understand better than the average woman that periods can still happen regularly during pregnancy. Just very surprising to me how a professional wouldn't be able to have any idea at all how far along a woman is.

So what is the complaint exactly? What is the harm done? Why did you bother asking if you already think you are right? You asked if we thought it would be too harsh to complain and the consensus is yes, not AIBU ‘for expecting a midwife to be able to vaguely tell what trimester a woman is in based on the feel and appearance of her abdomen.’

Anywherebuthere · 17/11/2023 22:19

Complain about what?
Even your SIL missed over half of her own pregnancy. Who will she complain to about that?

The midwife was obviously going by dates of last period and wasn't able to feel what she was looking for.

There is nothing to complain about.

Original poster

Robinbuildsbears · 17/11/2023 22:19

Sunshineclouds11 · 17/11/2023 22:12

Just very surprising to me how a professional wouldn't be able to have any idea at all how far along a woman is

This is just abit crazy to me though.
How on earth can you tell how far someone is by seeing or touching their stomach?

The MW has obv went off SIL LMP with her still having them which is more normal than expecting her to know how far she is by touch.

I don't know how they'd be able to tell, I'm not a trained midwife. I assumed that feeling the abdomen would tell them something though, or else why would they bother doing it until right near the end of pregnancy?

I'm not thinking that I'm right and everyone else is wrong, I'm just very confused about what midwives are supposed to be able to know and not know. Apparently my expectations of midwife knowledge are much too high.

OP posts:

MonsteraMama · 17/11/2023 22:20

She managed to get to 27 weeks and not notice so maybe she should lodge a complaint against herself too.

madeleine85 · 17/11/2023 22:21

Some people make it the entire way through pregnancy without knowing they are pregnant. Babies can sit in weird, awkward ways. Most people don't "pop" until around 20+ weeks with their first, and some people just have very small babies/bumps. I've had a very very qualified doctor feel my third trimester bump and tell me that the head is down when it in fact was his bum. There is a reason for scans. The midwife did what was asked. There is no reason to complain. No harm has/will be done by her "guessing based off last period info/belly feel".

idontlikealdi · 17/11/2023 22:21

How did she get a positive, the hook effect would have kicked in by then

TeaKitten · 17/11/2023 22:23

Robinbuildsbears · 17/11/2023 22:19

I don't know how they'd be able to tell, I'm not a trained midwife. I assumed that feeling the abdomen would tell them something though, or else why would they bother doing it until right near the end of pregnancy?

I'm not thinking that I'm right and everyone else is wrong, I'm just very confused about what midwives are supposed to be able to know and not know. Apparently my expectations of midwife knowledge are much too high.

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Considering your sister asked for an earlier scan, and midwife agreed to quickly sort one, yeah, expectations are too high. She got what she wanted, your sister is still pregnant. What are you so annoyed about?

TeaKitten · 17/11/2023 22:25

idontlikealdi · 17/11/2023 22:21

How did she get a positive, the hook effect would have kicked in by then

That doesn’t always happen.

daffodilandtulip · 17/11/2023 22:29

Gosh I thought ours was bad at 6 weeks out! They didn't listen to me realise until much later though, which could have been dangerous.

VaccineSticker · 17/11/2023 22:34

I was actually chatting earlier to an NHS consultant who is a friend too about this exact thing.
They said that midwives don’t get enough training in their degree and won’t know for sure how far into the pregnancy a woman is using a tape measure (a ridiculous practice) which is not an exact science either . They also said that sonographers are properly trained with how to measure baby using ultrasound machines when midwives aren’t.

I have seen enough in this country to make think that midwifery is one fields in the nhs that doesn’t seem to learn from past mistakes looking at the amount of lawsuits and labour wards that are under investigation recently because of some midwives sheer incompetence, arrogance and trying to stick to old fashioned ways of birthing to prove a point.
Their training needs to be improved and they need to be overlooked by an obstetrician. Too many babies are born still or disabled because of the birthing process and too many mums are ending up traumatised after their experience.
Something needs to change.