Partner didn't remember, would have been due date

[Firsttimemumtobee]

Today would have been my due date, I miscarried at 12 weeks at the end of April. I'm currently just over 5 weeks pregnant, and over the moon. I've had very little anxiety so far, but very early days.. much stronger symptoms this time.
My partner had forgotten it was the due date today, I didn't see him this morning, he went to work early and messaged to say he's going to his sisters after work and will try not to be too late. I've replied saying please try not to be too late as it was the due date today and we said we'd be at home together tonight.. he has replied saying sorry he forgot.
I've been in tears, but trying not to be angry with him as I know everyone deals with it differently!

I'm sure he's focussed on the new arrival hence it slipping his mind - I'm not sure I could be too angry (but then I'm a man, so of course my perspective is probably different).

I wouldn't be angry with him, he did apologise. It's really such a different experience for the non pregnant partner. Focus on your current pregnancy, and hope it goes well.

I would suspect his headspace is all taken up by the new pregnancy. And you’re right, everyone deals with it differently. Miscarriage is naturally going to have a greater impact on the woman. It’s happened to your body. At 12 weeks a baby is little more than a nice idea to most people if they’re not the ones carrying it.
If he responds kindly now he’s been reminded the. I’d try not to be too upset.

@Deathbyfluffy @PinkRoses1245
Thank you both for your replies, helpful to hear from a male perspective too. I won't hold onto this, I know we all deal with things differently and even though I'm feeling emotional today doesn't mean he is too. Going to try to keep busy today!

I’ve had a couple of losses, a few years ago now. I don’t know exactly when the due dates would’ve been, and I think the last one would’ve just turned 1 year old. I wouldn’t hold him to the same feelings that you have. How you process this loss as individuals is valid, he doesn’t need to feel the same as you.
Well done for telling him how you feel, so he can support you. But I wouldn’t dwell on this. Focus on your current pregnancy and be kind to yourself.

I wouldn’t be angry. He’s probably focussing on your pregnancy. Congratulations.

Thank you all, reading your replies have really helped ❤️

I'm sorry for your loss. When you say "we said we'd be in tonight" was that recently? I've had two mc. By that time, I wouldn't have remembered the due date either. Everyone deals with things differently and has their own way of coping. Please don't get yourself worked up.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Honestly people just view things like this differently and it doesn’t mean they don’t care. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and I’ve not remembered any of the due dates. It doesn’t mean I haven’t been sad about them, people just process things differently.

This isn't something I'd be worried about to be fair.
I would have been due on 3 September, just been. It completely slipped my mind and it was only when I looked at the date on a gone off yoghurt around 5 days later I realised, and I was the pregnant one.

Life happens, laugh hard and forgive easily.

I'm sure your husband didn't mean to. Things fly over tour head at times. I lost 2 babies and my hubby doesn't always remember the dates.. however women tend to remember these things more then men unfortunately.

Don't be upset with him hun. 💗💗sorry for ur loss and congratulations

Usually, I'm rubbish at remembering dates myself to be fair 😆 just that because I've got my own business, I was planning ahead to this time, so it's been written down in lots of places- diaries and people's subscription orders. Also probably feeling hormonal with current pregnancy!
So grateful for everyone's kind replies, thank you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. From experience I would say be mindful that his coping mechanism could well be 'getting on with it' as i know often that has been my DH's approach. This doesn't mean in any way he doesn't think of the baby or grieve their loss any less, I promise.
I hope all goes well in your pregnancy.

@ANiceBigCupOfTea yes I think you're probably right! Thank you

Firstly, so sorry for your loss and congratulations on your current pregnancy.
I can totally understand how you feel. I think sad as it is, because you were the one carrying the baby, and who ultimately suffered the miscarriage, you are likely to feel this loss much harder. Not to suggest it's not sad or difficult for your husband, but I don't think I'd hold on to this one.
Like others have said, he is probably also now focused on the new pregnancy and hoping that goes well.
I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and best of luck with your new baby 😘

@Katela18 thank you so much 😊