How to stay positive?

[HoneysuckleHeart]

I'm currently 10+3 pregnant. I've had two miscarriages (one missed/anembryonic). I had a reassurance scan at 7 weeks and saw a heartbeat which was amazing!

But I have my NIPT on Thursday, including another scan. I am absolutely terrified and cannot stop thinking about how many things can go wrong or already have and I just don't know it yet. I'm also worried that my age (39,but 38 when conceived) is against me.

There's nothing pointing towards something being wrong other than reading about so many other women's experiences, which I know is skewed when compared to how many women went on to have babies. I've not had any bleeding and my symptoms have been horrendous.

It's exhausting though thinking about what else could happen and I would much rather be positive or at least not so negative about this. How have others coped with this?

I've not had a miscarriage so I know you are coming from definitely a place of fear but this is my first pregnancy (after 3 IUIs and 2 IVF) so my anxiety is defo higher, I've had some bleeding and been to EPU for a scan due to this.

I will be booking a week 10 scan so the wait to week 12 isn't as long and do feel anxious at having scans because as you say you just don't know what's changed, good or bad in that time.

Yet I do keep reminding myself that at this early stage there is nothing, zilch I can do to change what that scan shows, but I can control how it impacts me now and what stress and extra pressure I allow it to put on my body. I can't think this clearly everyday but when I can it defo helps.

I just think of the good things I can do, take my medication, management my symptoms, eat health food when able to, reduce stress placed on my body, all these things will either help my body continue the pregnancy safety or with put me in a strong headspace and body feeling better to deal with it if something didn't go right.

Living in that limbo is horrible, I very expected to feel how I do after a positive test but I think we just try to protect ourselves as much as we can and sometimes that's with preparing for the worse