Obsessing over movements

[EllaChloe]

So, here we go again.
I literally posted on Tuesday this week (believe me, I hate myself enough already).
I'm 22+6, FTM with anterior placenta and yesterday I had major panic because, after feeling my daughter pretty regularly and intensely for a couple of weeks (and especially the night before) she suddenly went very quiet all afternoon. I would feel the odd flip but nothing as it was up to yesterday morning. It continued that way for most of the afternoon until she perked up after dinner and was very active again for a few hours until I went to bed, feeling reassured.
I woke up at 2.30 am for a wee and the nightmare began cause I couldn't feel her and wasn't able to even wake her up, I eventually manager to prop her a bit and she did move but mostly when stimulated.
Safe to say I didnt sleep all night because of this. It's true that the few movements I felt were "far" from the surface IYKWIM? Is it possible she's towards my back and this, combined with the AP, means I can't feel her?
I can ring triage of course but they've literally seen me 3 times already this week.
Yes, I suffer from anxiety and am receiving therapy, but I can't turn off my brain sadly.
Thanks in advance x

I think you’re expecting her to move far more than she will.

Hi @DustyLee123, it's entirely possible. However I'm finding the general advice to be overwhelmingly confusing. "Go get checked if you notice a change in your baby's movements", ok but at what point?
I know she's still tiny at nearly 23 weeks, but why did I feel her more on some days? This is what I'm struggling with, at what point do I sound the alarm?

When I was having babies it was 10 movements a day you were looking for, and you filled it in on a chart, but I don’t think it started as early as 23 weeks.

I don't know how old your children are, but I know that this 10 movements a day is quite old advice and they don't want you to go by that anymore.

Then perhaps state in your op that you don’t want replies from oldies.

That is not what I meant, I just stated that this is old advice and you can find the same consensus over other similar threads here on MN (and all over the internet).
Also, I'm just looking for advice during a situation I'm finding delicate and stressful, there is no need for this kind of comments. I wasn't rude to you, please don't be rude to me.

I went at 22 weeks because I was worried about movement. They checked me over and absolutely reassured me I'd done the right thing to come in but also told me that movement patterns don't really establish until after 24 weeks.

My baby was moving well on the screen but I couldn't feel any of it.

It's between 24 and 28 weeks that you should be able to establish a pattern in her movement, with my son I don't think I'd even felt him move yet at 23 weeks! And you say you have an anterior placenta so your movements will be much less anyway. She doesn't need to have a pattern yet, any movement is great ATM. Even further in my pregnancy I didn't feel as much movement as you are looking for now, it's definitely your anxiety playing you up x

Hi @Whataretheodds, I've also been to triage already once and they told me the same thing, that I'd done well etc. Problem is, I genuinely don't know what reduced movements are because if I feel her a lot on some days and scarcely the next, that to me is reduced movements. But probably not to them.

Hi @Ttcmumma, I felt her since 18 weeks with increasing strength and intensity so if I don't feel her for x amount of time I panic unfortunately. I agree that it's my anxiety playing up, it's just really hard not to listen to it 😔

@EllaChloe no I know, I don't want to dismiss your worry but just trying to show you it's perfectly normal to not have a pattern yet, even though you do feel her. The fact women can't feel babies at this stage and patterns aren't asked to be observed until between 24-28 weeks just goes to show that it's perfectly fine!

I'm pregnant again now and have felt movements from 16 weeks, I'm 18+6 now and some days I have patterns, other days I don't. Midwife isn't bothered until between 24 and 28 weeks as they're still too small to feel everything. I have a heartbeat Doppler at home so trust me I understand the anxiety, I had a loss at 14 weeks in January so I get it. I can't lie if I haven't felt her in a day or two, I use the Doppler and always find her heart beating away. It's hard but we must try out best not to panic at this stage. Stressing yourself out isn't going to be helpful for bubba. You got this, if you don't notice a continuous pattern in the next week or two, then call in but I'd say what you're feeling at he moment is actually really good x

My point was that before 24 weeks it's not expected that there is a pattern.

Hi,
I didn’t feel my baby until around 24 weeks which is quite late compared to some people. There are so many factors that contribute. I was semi professional athlete before getting pregnant and my MW Said that because my stomach muscles are so thick it’s hard for her to feel the baby (I’m 31 weeks) and I might not feel kicks as strong as other people. My friends have spoken to me about seeing limbs etc but I don’t think I’ll ever get that.

I now know that he moves normally when I get into bed at night and when I’m in the bath the most. Anything else I don’t really monitor. I agree with you that the advice is really confusing because they tell you to ring but also that your baby will have quiet days. I had a day when I felt nothing and just agreed with myself I would call if I didn’t get anything the next day, but again some people would say that’s poor and I should have rang straight away.

I don’t feel like I’m giving you any advice really just sharing my experience. I would honestly do what is best for you, I’m not a very anxious person but if you are I can imagine the waiting is awful, if calling your Mw Help you then there is no harm x

A pattern doesn't really start till around 28 weeks.

Triage wouldn't see me for RM until after 28 weeks. There's no pattern until after that apparently. Just try and relax a bit or you're going to stress yourself out.

I'm 23 weeks and just saw the midwife and consultant this week. They told me to start counting movements from 26 weeks (so the previous poster actually wasnt wrong and certainly wasnt rude in comparison to your respomse) and only start tracking a pattern from 28 weeks. Babies don't have routines yet.

Aw I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed with this, I totally get the worry. As others have said until there is a pattern then you can't really think of anything as reduced movements. Baby is still so small if they turn into a particular position then you're not going to feel them so much and maybe even not at all for a while. I also have an anterior placenta where it was posterior with my first so movements are different this time. I'm very similar to you, 22 weeks now and have been feeling movements since 16 weeks and it varies sooo much. Last week I was getting big kicks, the last few days I haven't felt very much. It's totally normal to have this variation. Even with my first he never established a pattern as everyone says will happen so some days were quieter than others. It's good you're working on your anxiety about this as it's really tough and can imagine how draining it is every day x

Hi Budget Buster, I only said that the 10 kicks a day is old advice, which is the general consensus. At which point the commenter said I should specify I don't want advice from oldies, but I never called her old. It was a snide comment that I don't think my post deserved.

Hi @gentlemum, thank you for your kind words. Hearing from others in a similar situation is probably what helps the most, especially the fact that on some days you also feel big kicks and on others not so much. I just worry that she's unwell and that I'm missing something by not reporting it.
I had a MMC last year so for weeks I was convinced everything was hunky dory when it was in fact not.

Also a FTM. Anterior placenta. 37 weeks. Mine moves at night mostly, and I noticed she moves more when I'm lying down as I'm stretched out so she must have more room. She has started to move more in the morning too. Although the other day she didn't move in the morning at all and I did worry and had a little poke but all was fine. I wouldn't worry about her movements in the middle of the night, I wake up throughout the night for a wee and never feel her, she must be fast asleep. I know I can't say anything to stop the worry, but im with you, it can be daunting. Aslong as the baby can be felt moving I wouldn't focus on how many times etc. Your going to be fine :)

I remember thinking I couldn't feel my baby moving anymore when I was about 22 weeks. She was fine and the midwife I saw told they don't really worry about movements until 28 weeks because they don't establish a pattern til then.

She never really did establish a pattern i could identify, if I thought I couldn't feel her moving I'd drink something really sweet ( the midwife said that wakes them up apparently) and as soon as I felt her move I'd be ok. She got a lot of sugar over the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I understand the anxiety of thinking you can't feel them moving anymore though it's hard to shake it off.

I'm aware of what you said, I read the thread. My interpretation still stands that you were rude first.

@BudgetBuster the general advice given by the NHS is to take note of a change in movements, not to attempt to count them. The NHS website confirms this so the OP is not wrong to point out that a ‘kick count’ is outdated. I personally would be concerned if my midwife/consultant was providing this advice.

@EllaChloe I totally get the anxiety. This is my second pregnancy and I have an anterior placenta this time round so it’s so different to how movements felt the first time. I also suffer from health anxiety so understand the constant worry and pressure we put on ourselves. I went into hospital for reduced movements a few weeks ago and had to have a doctor do a scan as even the midwife was struggling to find her heartbeat. The scan showed she was just tucked away in an awkward position. She was moving around so much on the screen and I could not feel her at all!
All I could recommend at the minute is, if you haven’t felt baby for a while, have a cold drink and lie down and prod your stomach. See if this gets baby moving. If it doesn't, then there’s no harm in you going in to get checked. The midwives will understand. Hopefully in a few weeks when baby is bigger and a pattern has developed, your anxiety will reduce.

Hi @Anxiousmammyagain, thank you for sharing your experience with me.
I feel a little bit better as I've felt her move around after all so it's probably really just my anxiety playing tricks on me.