Looking for answers as to why I had an mc at 13 weeks?

[janey125N]

Hello,

Lost my gorgeous baby at 13 weeks, gave birth at 15 wks and 3 days 😭 We are totally devastated.

We had 4 scans and all seemed good with baby, active baby and strong heartbeat, bloods very good etc. It has been an absolute shock, as to how it all changed in 1.5 weeks.

It seemed to happen the week the baby moved up higher in my tummy and when placenta took over.

I have had numerous bloods sent off, most back already and all good. The placenta has been sent for numerous tests etc. Just wondering did anyone in a similar situation and timeline get answers?

Tia.

There are no answers, im really sorry what you’re going through. Be kind to yourself. It’s nothing you did, sometimes shit happens x

I'm so sorry @janey125N
I had a similar timeline to you but unfortunately received no answers. Despite going on to have 2 successful pregnancies, I still feel like that chapter of my life is impossible to process fully. It will always be an unknown and I will likely always wonder if it was something I did or didn't do (unknowingly) or if the tests missed something.

This will be something that will always stay with you and will likely weigh heavily during any future pregnancies but you will be ok. Surround yourself with your nearest and dearest and look after yourself.

I'm so sorry. As others have said here and I'm sure IRL, sometimes there isn't an obvious reason for these things (I know that's really really painful to hear).

Hopefully you'll get some answers the tests but it's nothing you've done. Try not to blame yourself/your body (I'm talking from own experience here, that's what I did for many months after my miscarriage).

It's unbelievably painful to go through a miscarriage, the worst emotional pain I've ever felt, worse than losing my mum. Indescribable actually. I hope you have a good support network irl you can talk to about it all.

Is this your first pregnancy? Have you got time off work.

OP, I am sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, as you probably know, the risk of miscarriage drops from 14 weeks, but up until that point quite few pregnancies sadly end in miscarriages and you may never find out why.

Thanks for all the replies. Did ye all get the placenta tested, swabs and bloods done?

Thanks for the reply. My first, which makes it all the more terrifying. Off for 2 weeks atm. So hard

Around 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage, most commonly in the early weeks. For the majority there won't be a specific reason why. The NHS tends to only investigate after a couple have had three miscarriages. I am not sure investigations are helpful unless it happens multiple times. None of that makes this time any easier for you. Take care

In Ireland they do it after one. 3 is a lot.

At the beginning of the year I lost a pregnancy at 16 weeks. Post Mortom showed that my beautiful daughter actually passed away the same day as her 12 week scan. How incredibly cruel. Nothing will ever take away the pain that you are feeling, for a while it won’t even feel like it gets easier. But it does. Although there was no difintive answers it did pick up that she only had two blood vessels in her cord rather than three and so she was never getting enough blood. Whilst babies can go onto full term healthy delivery with this, I chose to focus on this to help me find faith for my future. We called our little girl Lilah, and it really helped to name her. It gave her a purpose and it made her feel real to me. For a long while I couldn’t bare to be around anyone else pain, this was my loss, I had carried her. But over time that disappeared and I learnt that other people grief was to a testimony as to how much she was loved. Following my misscarriage someone told me “some babies come, and they just want to feel eternal love and that’s enough for them. Then they go and use that love to protect and guide the ones that we love the most” I really love that and it gave me great comfort. When you are ready there is a book that might help, it’s called the worst girl gang ever. It really helped me to validate my feelings and show that I was not alone and many women were feeling my grief. I am thinking of you and your family, if you have any questions please let me know.