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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner won't have sex with me when I'm pregnant?

24 replies

August21yellowbaby · 09/11/2023 23:12

My partner won't have sex with me when I'm pregnant, I would understand if I was really big but I'm hardly showing at all

He says nearly all men won't have sex with their partners when their pregnant?

He was like this towards the end of my first pregnancy but I feel like it's an excuse this time 😞

OP posts:
Blueeyedmale · 09/11/2023 23:18

I went through this when my ex was pregnant with our DS but mine was out of fear that I could hurt the baby I know it's stupid now but at that time I was genuinely concerned

I don't think most men avoid sex during pregnancy but I was new to pregnancy and I just didn't understand

Bells3032 · 09/11/2023 23:18

Deff not a thing all men do. Does he have a reason for it - is hd worried about harming the baby, does he find it hard to maevovar around the bump. Lots of different ways to do it without putting pressure on bump

CampervanKween · 09/11/2023 23:20

Perhaps he's worried he'll get bitten by the baby?

Neverbeenhappier1986 · 09/11/2023 23:22

Just tell him he isn’t that big so he won’t hurt the baby! 😆

Pieceofpurplesky · 09/11/2023 23:27

Some men feel this way. Bizarrely I watched a TikTok (on my feed) where Molly Mae Hague talked about Tommy Fury not wanting to have sex with her when she was pregnant.

DS's dad wouldn't either. You can't force someone who doesn't want to.

Buttercups3926 · 10/11/2023 00:05

My husband is the same. Before I was pregnant we would be at it 2-3 times a week. Now it's once.... if that. He was like this in my last two pregnancies so I know it will go back to normal once baby is born. I just think some men don't find pregnancy sexy, I suppose they want to protect us. Me and my husband had a two week dry spell after finding out! It's completely normal. It's shit for the women though :(

hitmebabyonemoretime21 · 10/11/2023 09:55

Not nearly all men feel like that, he is having you on - there clearly is a reason. You should just ask him, you may not like the answer but at least you'll have clarity on it.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 10/11/2023 09:57

Most men aren't like that. He needs to be honest about what's putting him off.

MinnieL · 10/11/2023 09:58

hitmebabyonemoretime21 · 10/11/2023 09:55

Not nearly all men feel like that, he is having you on - there clearly is a reason. You should just ask him, you may not like the answer but at least you'll have clarity on it.

You only have to look at the few responses on this thread to see that he most likely isn’t having the OP on. Some men genuinely don’t like to have sex with their partner if they’re pregnant.

My kids dad was a bit like this. I’m not sure if they find it unattractive (🤔) or whether they’re just a bit unsure of it all. It’s definitely not just your partner but I wouldn’t say that most men are like that. I think only some, I could be wrong though!

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 10/11/2023 10:01

I can understand why someone wouldn't want to, you can't really force him.

Leo227 · 10/11/2023 10:04

I'm not a man but struggled when my wife was pregnant too. I just can't "forget" that there's a baby there when you're trying to do something that you would usually make sure the children were nowhere near.

XiCi · 10/11/2023 10:12

My DH was like this. He said he had an irrational fear he could hurt the baby and even though he knew that really he couldn't, it put him off. From talking to friends it seems quite common.

It doesn't take much of a stretch of the imagination to realise some people would be put off sex by knowing theres a baby up there

PurpleChrayne · 10/11/2023 10:20

CampervanKween · 09/11/2023 23:20

Perhaps he's worried he'll get bitten by the baby?

This made me properly LOL 🤣

snoopy18 · 10/11/2023 13:33

I’m pregnant and absolutely do no want to have sex 😂 didn’t during first and absolutely not happening during second.

PinkPlantCase · 10/11/2023 13:42

Is it just PIV sex that he doesn’t want to do or has he just stopped all intimacy? In my mind they’re too separate issues.

We’ve hardly had sex this time because we’ve both exhausted, me being pregnant and DH doing all the night wake ups with a toddler. But we are still intimate and loving with each other so the lack of sex isn’t really an issue.

Beachwaves127 · 10/11/2023 13:57

Some men don’t like it! Some love it. Perhaps just make sure you’re comfortable it is the pregnancy.

Thehonestbadger · 10/11/2023 13:57

Ok so I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with having sex during pregnancy as long as you’re comfortable and want to.

However, I don’t think your DH is entirely wrong. My DH is a specialist hospital doctor and during both my pregnancies he was very ‘it’s best to just leave it alone’ I mentioned this during a midwife apt too and was told he wasn’t wrong and ‘it’s not risk free. Lots do it and it’s fine but a lot of the bleeding and issues we see occurs post intercourse so many couples, especially in second or third pregnancies choose not to’

Again, nothing wrong with it if you want to but I think there’s validity to his opinion too xx

Sammie1990 · 10/11/2023 14:11

I haven’t wanted sex during my pregnancy and I’d be really upset if my partner made a big thing about it. It just feels weird for me….

C1N1C · 10/11/2023 14:14

Why does he need a reason?

If he's not feeling it, don't be a sex pest 😜

Chattybot · 10/11/2023 14:19

My DH felt a bit weird about it when I first got pregnant. So did I, to be honest.

Then we realised that the alternative was not having sex for 9 months, so we kind of gritted our teeth and did it anyway. After that it was fine, not weird any more. We continued to have sex as usual up till about 38 weeks (when I was just too pregnant to do anything really, sex-related or not!).

I do have a friend who just didn't have sex at all during pregnancy. Not sure whether that decision was driven more by her or more by her DH, or maybe both of them.

Torganer · 10/11/2023 14:48

Due to recurrent miscarriages, we were told by the consultant not to have sex in the first trimester.

captaincalamari12 · 10/11/2023 15:17

Never had sex in either pregnancies. I just didn't feel sexy and my partner didn't want to do it which I understood. It did take us a while to get into the swing of things again though.

feellikeanalien · 10/11/2023 15:26

My late DP was like this. He was normally very keen but he said it didn't feel right.

I did have a high risk pregnancy having had two previous miscarriages so I don't know if that was why he felt like that.

Disturbia81 · 10/11/2023 18:33

You wouldn't think anything could put most men off!
I never experienced this, we just made sure we didn't do it with him on top.

Not finding your body attractive would be an awful reason and I wouldn't be able to be with someone like that.
Worried about causing miscarriage etc.. understandable.

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