Weekend away with a newborn?

[Firsttimemumma1234]

Hi everyone, I’m hoping for some advice from people who have experience with previous babies.

I’m in a bit of a situation- I’m planning my best friends hen do and the only available date is 9 weeks after my due date. I know the obvious move is to drop out, and when it comes to it my baby will always come first, but hear me out, she is my dearest friend and has put so much effort into my own hen/wedding despite being heavily pregnant at the time, I really want to put the same effort in for her. She has her own baby and is very understanding. But that obviously doesn’t extend to the whole group.

It’s looking like a 2 night weekend away at a big hen house with activities and drinking. If you were me, how would you work this? My hormones are already kicking in and I know I won’t want to leave my baby for even a short time. It’s also tricky as the sleeping set up at this big house is not baby friendly at all. So I’m already thinking I’ll have to come home to sleep each night.

Am I being naive to think I can attend even some of this event with a 8/9wk old? Would you bring the baby? At this age are they able to be left with dad for a couple hours or is that unrealistic? If i bring the baby and am constantly alone feeding, changing, monitoring my baby is there even any point in being there. I think the unknown is worrying me. I just don’t want to offend anyone but it’s really stressing me out.

If your best friend/maid of honour only turned up for a couple of hours to your hen do would you be disappointed? Help! x

Hi OP,

I think it'd lovely that you want to make an effort but think it's important to be realistic.
What if you give birth later and you are for example only 6/7 weeks PP at the time of the hen?
You don't know what your recovery period will entail so that's important to bear in mind.

Personally, I would tell my friend that I can't commit to anything but if I'm able to, I will show up for a few hours IF possible. I would make it quite clear that this is highly unlikely and as disappointed as I am, there's really no other choice.

I also wouldn't want to commit financially if I'm not 100% certain I could attend. Plus I wouldn't want the additional pressures of looking after a newborn etc in a new environment without the support I have at home.

She has a baby so I'm sure she will completely understand and would have done the same thing!

Everyone is different, I breastfed on demand so wouldn't have left mine but I'd have taken them with me, they went wherever I did and I moved 5000 miles when my youngest was 6 weeks old.

Hey! Hope all is well with you!
It is hard to forward plan around a due date, and even if you are booked in for a c section and know the day of the birth you still have to account for recovery x
I planned to give birth in a midwife centre but ended up needing emergency c section so plans do change quickly. I couldn't sleep for the first two nights and just stared at my baby all night because I had the new mum fear and just couldn't take my eyes off him at night. You might decide once you've given birth you want no visitors for 2 months or you might want constant contact with your mum like I did! Don't cement yourself into anything you are having doubts about, 2 days away from a newborn seems like a lifetime at first. I have literally just today been away from my 8 month old for the first time, his first outing with his dad! Took me so long I know and it is different for everyone and depends on breastfeeding so I know this reply isn't really advice, but I hope a different perspective helps!

I would say it's doable, I was going into work at this time. I would say you would probably want to come home at nights but I would have been fine to leave baby with dad and (if breastfeeding) make sure I had a good breast pump, pump every three hours and, if you have a good freezer supply just bin it, if not put in fridge and then take home in cool bags. Elvie breastpump means you don't even need to stop activities and fun when expressing.

I actually had exactly this situation- my best friend had a hen weekend when my eldest was 8 weeks old. My husband booked a hotel in the same city and I popped out to breastfeed every few hours, and slept at the hotel one evening also. Honestly, it was a bit of a faff, but I'm very glad I made the effort!

So what happened in the end, OP?