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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Missed miscarriage

14 replies

herewegoagain123456 · 09/11/2023 06:46

Hi, went for for 12 week scan yesterday and found out baby died at 8 weeks. 4 weeks ago...it sucks.

Anyone know what happens now as still no bleeding and still getting symptoms.

Also anyone know if I will be able to have an early scan next pregnancy? I don't want to go through this again 😔

OP posts:
Agathapoirot · 09/11/2023 08:26

Hey, you might be better off putting this on the pregnancy loss board.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I went through the same (dates the same too) and chose medical management as I just wanted to know things would start happening, there seems to be a mixed review of how it goes but for me personally it was fine. Obviously devastating and hard, but I didn’t get any issues with the treatment itself.

My miscarriage was in July and I’m nearly 8 weeks pregnancy again now. There seems to be a varying response from EPUs on whether they’ll scan early next time, mine wouldn’t so I’m paying for private ones every other week as like you I couldn’t face that again.

Look after yourself, make sure you lean on those close to you and feel all of your feelings. It’s a heartbreaking thing to go through, so take all the time you need to recover physically and mentally. X

TTCbaby2023 · 09/11/2023 09:08

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I went through the same back in May. Baby died at 8 weeks too. I chose medical management instead of surgical and despite being painful, it went well and didn't need further treatment.

Take it easy on yourself now and take the time to heal mentally and physically, it is a tough thing to go through.

When I got pregnant again a couple of months later, I called EPU in panic because I felt that the same thing was happening and accepted to see me just to reassure me as there was no cramping nor blood just loss of symptoms which actually came back after but understood my high levels of anxiety. They were kind enough to scan me a couple of times until the 12 week one. I think if they can sense high anxiety they will probably be willing to do it. We have a great EPU team in my local hospital, I can't fault them.

Just remember as well that for most women, this will be a one time occurrence and following pregnancies will go fine.

Silverfoxlady · 09/11/2023 16:06

Really sorry for your loss. This also happened to me, but there was no baby at all to see. It felt so horrible, and I was so upset.

I chose the medical management route, and it was just like giving birth but the really painful bit was quicker. About 45 minutes of bad pain, but the 4 hours leading up to it were like having bad period pains. I only needed one tablet out of the two as I am sensitive to any drugs, and so unexpectedly gave birth at home. Thankfully, I didn’t need any further procedures.

It really sucks though, and the experience coupled with the hormones was awful. I definitely needed the week off work, and I was an emotional wreck.

I fell pregnant again quite quickly (within 3 months) and this time it feels so much different, so I am hoping this will be the happy ending. I have paid for one early scan at 7 weeks, and another at 10 weeks. The stress this time around has been awful, and the scans have really helped.

elisha1375 · 09/11/2023 17:09

Hi hun, I’m going through the same thing right now but luckily I’m only 6 weeks, they only caught it because I had an early scan otherwise I have no idea when I would of found out. I’m choosing medical but I’ve heard surgical is better for woman a bit further along. If you speak your local EPU next time, let them know your concerns they might be really understanding. Private scans aren’t too expensive if you can, about £70 but it gives you that peace of mind? X

Original poster
herewegoagain123456 · 10/11/2023 06:30

Thankyou guys.

I'm off to the hospital today for medical management.

Just can't believe it's been 4 weeks and my body still doesn't recognise the baby has died. Like I'm still getting symptoms.

Can't wait for this nightmare to be over.

Sorry you all went threw similar

OP posts:
TTCbaby2023 · 10/11/2023 08:21

@herewegoagain123456 I hope this will be over for you soon. Take it easy on yourself. x

Original poster
herewegoagain123456 · 13/11/2023 12:13

Thanks guys, all gone plain sailing so far.

I do have a question though....did you all wait for your first period after a miscarriage before starting to try again?

OP posts:
Agathapoirot · 13/11/2023 20:04

I did, I didn’t get a negative pregnancy test until after my first period had ended. I definitely wouldn’t have started trying again until I had a stark negative test as I couldn’t have taken the uncertainty of whether it was a new pregnancy or residual HCG in my system.

Original poster
herewegoagain123456 · 14/11/2023 06:46

@Agathapoirot that's a good point. Thankyou

OP posts:
Agathapoirot · 14/11/2023 06:53

You might find that you get a negative test before that, everyone is different. I just knew after being so upset that I would have really struggled with not being able to date the pregnancy etc. Right now that wait for your first period will feel so long, but you might need it to just try and come to terms with what’s happened before trying again.

Like I said, everyone is different, copes in different ways and has different experiences. I can only share my own. You have to do what feels right for you, just make sure that you’re being honest about how you’re feeling and reach out for support if you need it. Hope everything is going as well as it can do for you at the moment. Things will get better as hard as it is to believe that now x

TTCbaby2023 · 14/11/2023 16:50

I didn't wait and we tried a soon as I ovulated again even though by that point the pregnancy test wasn't totally negative but vvfaint. It didn't work but was successful in falling pregnant again the following cycle.
You can start as soon as you feel ready. Physically you should be ready soon but mentally is the toughest one. When I tried again straight away, it felt very strange and unsettling. I wasn't quite ready but as age wasn't on my side, I could not afford to wait too long.

Moominmoko · 14/11/2023 17:01

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I had the same situation last year at my 12 week scan. I didn't go on to miscarry naturally and was still being battered by morning sickness. After 2 weeks of waiting I went down the medical management route. It was one day in hospital and it was over. It was my second miscarriage but first MMC.

We started trying again straight away and fell pregnant about 4 months later. I had some bleeding so had a scan at 6 weeks, 7 weeks then again at 9 weeks and obviously the dreaded 12 weeks. I felt like I couldn't trust my body at all because it had "lied" to me last time.

Original poster
herewegoagain123456 · 14/11/2023 20:06

That's the mad thing isn't it.....still getting all the pregnancy symptoms yet the baby had no heartbeat.

Definitely won't be able to trust symptoms next time. Or pregnancy tests. Or anything.

Age isn't on my side either so will start trying as soon as I stop bleeding. Just so worried.

Everything was just so perfect with this baby that I new it was too good to be true.

OP posts:
TTCbaby2023 · 15/11/2023 15:04

I definitely understand the not trusting your body. At 21 weeks, I still don't trust it fully and dread any complication.
Like you everything seemed too perfect to be true and yet it still happened shortly after again, you will get your rainbow baby 😊

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